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"Tehran overrun by giant mutant rats?" Topic


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CorpCommander05 Jun 2013 7:16 a.m. PST

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

link

It reads like an Onion article but… it isn't funny. Perhaps there is more going on with Iran's nuclear research – it isn't for atom bombs but to create an army of mutants,,,

HMSResolution05 Jun 2013 7:25 a.m. PST

This rather more temperate article link seems to indicate that it's just garden-standard Norwegian rats, who can get pretty dang big.

CorpCommander05 Jun 2013 7:38 a.m. PST

They cut out the part about secret weapons experiments, uncontained leaks and the unlocking of latent psychic powers!

It had so much potential to stand as a warning to pushing the edges of dark science!

:-)

darthfozzywig05 Jun 2013 7:40 a.m. PST

Stand as a warning? Or maybe as an incentive!

picture

(I make fun of others)05 Jun 2013 7:53 a.m. PST

Yes, I'm quite certain that teams of snipers are the best way to rid heavily populated urban neighborhoods of vermin.

Henrix05 Jun 2013 8:15 a.m. PST

I still like how the conclusion is drawn:

We now have huge rats
They don't look like our normal, much smaller, rats
----
MUTANTS!

A Twiningham05 Jun 2013 8:17 a.m. PST

That rat is on the puny side compared to some I have seen.

Patrick R05 Jun 2013 8:24 a.m. PST

Unlimited energy, an economy that is totally immune to recession, a Stealth fighter that can single-handedly take down everything that flies at the same time, the most advanced pocket destroyer in the world, time travel and now giant mutant rats.

It's only a matter of time before Iran walks over us …

Klibanophoros05 Jun 2013 8:35 a.m. PST

Tail is shorter than body. Looks like just a standard Norway Rat to me. Looks like we are safe from mutant hordes overrunning the earth. For now.

Gaz004505 Jun 2013 8:50 a.m. PST

If they look a little deeper they might discover the Tehran Mutant Turtles-
Cyrus, Roshan, Ardavan & Pajman………

morrigan05 Jun 2013 10:13 a.m. PST

Iran kinda reminds me of the little kid in school who was "special". According to him he could take on the world…

Timbo W05 Jun 2013 10:20 a.m. PST

What what! Is this the resurgence of the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared?!

Personal logo Woolshed Wargamer Supporting Member of TMP05 Jun 2013 11:10 a.m. PST

I am sure the blame will land squarely on the Juice.

Sloppypainter05 Jun 2013 9:15 p.m. PST

Bah! I can see the zipper. It's just an Iranian commando in a rat suit.

Personal logo miniMo Supporting Member of TMP06 Jun 2013 7:15 a.m. PST

Yes, I'm quite certain that teams of snipers are the best way to rid heavily populated urban neighborhoods of vermin.

Actually, it is! There are quite a variety of pellet guns quite capable of dispatching rats. Although for overgrown rodents of that size, .22 or .25 caliber pellets would be in order. (.177's work just fine on the small garden variety Norway rat.)

* Much quieter than firearms, so you're not waking neighbors up in the middle of the night.
* Less labour intensive than setting and checking traps in that quantity.
* Much healthier for children and other critters than using poison.
* Less unintended consequences than bringing in sufficient quantities of large predators that could be reliably counted on to hunt and consume that many giant rodents.

Uesugi Kenshin Supporting Member of TMP06 Jun 2013 7:43 a.m. PST

How much is 5 kilos? Like 2000 pounds?

Lion in the Stars06 Jun 2013 8:17 a.m. PST

5kg = ~11lbs.

Rats are not supposed to be larger than most cats.

Personal logo miniMo Supporting Member of TMP06 Jun 2013 9:04 a.m. PST

WIth access to an abundance of food, they do get that big.

Milites06 Jun 2013 1:20 p.m. PST

Lived next to a graveyard, when the man came with his dog to clear our seriously overgrown garden, all I'd see is the dogs head snap up and a large cat sized rat summersault through the air, neck broken. Every now and then though, the fearless hound would throw up something larger, but clearly rat-shaped.

I got a chill just thinking that I'd been prepared to clear the garden myself, James Herbert's books, avidly devoured at school, must have still had an effect on me!

Personal logo Legion 4 Supporting Member of TMP07 Jun 2013 5:41 a.m. PST

I hope they overrun the entire country … huh? It's hard to chant "Death To America" when you're living in a Persian version of "Ben" and Willard" !! wink

capncarp07 Jun 2013 6:22 p.m. PST

"…what's that, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every election cycle--try and take over Tehran!"

<queue theme song tag end>

Johny Boy08 Jun 2013 11:29 a.m. PST

That there's good eatin boy……… ;-)

essayons710 Jun 2013 5:48 a.m. PST

The giant rats have already infiltrated their government…… grin

Lion in the Stars10 Jun 2013 7:04 a.m. PST

The giant rats have already infiltrated their government…
Don't you mean all governments? :P

VonTed10 Jun 2013 7:10 a.m. PST

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