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"Ultimate zombie hand to hand weapon?" Topic

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consectari Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 9:04 a.m. PST

Last night I watched a pretty bad movie called "Zombie Apocalypse" or something. Each character had their own hand to hand weapon, a wooden baseball bat, a large sledge hammer, a machette, and a katana. Except for the katana, I've used each of these items, and I can't imagine them being effective in combat. It got me thinking what I'd want to use in that situation.

The best I could come up with was a modified pitch fork. Cut the tines down to about 2-2 1/2 inches. Reinforce the handle with heavy duty tape. Sharpen the handles end and put a small guard on it about 3 inches from the point.

All modifications could be accomplished in a typical hardware store with no electricity.

What could you come up with after Apocalypse Z has started?

Guess I should add that this is for Romero style zombies that require head trauma to kill them.

VonStengel30 Nov 2012 9:14 a.m. PST

Some kind of Boar Spear would seem to be appropriate.

Ark3nubis Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 9:17 a.m. PST

Probs best 'weapon' at hand would be an alumimium base-ball bat. I believe unlikely to break (against zed heads anyways), light enough, no training required, easy to wipe the blood off for health and safety, likely easy to find.

Timber BBall bat would break, Katana is a highly specialist weapon so would really need training and skill to use anything remotely like Michonne, sledge hammer would tire you very quickly and be a bit slow, never mind carrying the Bleeped text thing. Also people would espouse the use of a crowbar, but the bent end is likely to get caught in a head as you crack the skull (think 28 weeks later when he drops it due to gettigng caughtin the second or third infected through the window). Not a problem a far as that zed is concerned, but the one just behind it would have the jump on you as you try to free it from the first one or pick it up. Hold it the other way and you do have a prodding/ stabbing type weapon, but not designed to held properly in combat so would likely slip from the hand.

Sharps would only kill if you had the speed and skill to hit the right spot and pucnh a hole through to the brain. Kitchen knies wouldn't do this as they are meant for carrots, not the rigours of combat. Also sharps pose a threat to the weilder in that a bit of slip or lack of attention and you are likely to stab or cut your self.

Worst weapon of all though; the chainsaw. Requires a finite source of power (fuel) very noisy (atacts attention), heavy and slow to weild (leaving you exposed and tired) and liekly to chop your own leg off, never mind anything elses.

Hope that helps…


Ark3nubis Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 9:19 a.m. PST

A boar spear would only get stuck in (and through) the body of a zed, so leaving you to free it to take on any others. Even if there's not any you would still have the head to deal with. Aim for the head (small target trying to be hit by a smaller weapon) mixed with the unweildy nature of a long weapon) I expect would make it a bit cumbersome for day to day use in the apocalypse. I may be wrong of course :)

Formerly known as DEFENDER Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 9:30 a.m. PST

Crowbar for me. Weighted well. Can smash, stab, dig. Handy when you need to break through a locked door to escape zombies, get shelter or forage for food. Can be used to secure the same door to keep zombies out.

RudyNelson30 Nov 2012 9:32 a.m. PST

There was a facebook photo that had the humans armed with Jedi Light sabers. Pretty funny but not that far off. A high intensity laser would do a quick slice and dice in a hand to hand situation.

Oddball30 Nov 2012 9:39 a.m. PST

A good steel hatchet with a spike on the back.

You gotta get close, but that's where the fun is.

Roderick Robertson Fezian30 Nov 2012 9:45 a.m. PST

I'm for a boar spear, too. Ark3nubis, – unless the zombie is completely "squishy", the crosspiece should prevent over-penetration.


A cheap type of boar spear can be made with a short length of pipe cut at a steep angle, a long piece of wood (or maybe some msort of composite…) and a long bolt for the cross-piece. Most houses should have the tools to make it, even if you have to rip out some water pipe to get the head.

Nice reach, even a body shot keeps the zombie away from you, and faster than most swung weapons. A narrow cross-section on the head means an easy pull-back even on a solid hit.

consectari Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 9:56 a.m. PST

It seems like the boar spear would be hard to use effectively. Too much chance of missing the head or being deflected off the skull.

VCarter Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 9:57 a.m. PST

A Hooligen Tool also know as a Halligen Bar would seem to me to be the ideal zombie hand to hand weapon. I has so many other breaking and entering uses.


Phil DAmato30 Nov 2012 9:59 a.m. PST

I am a basher type. I like a mace. But I do like the ideal of a hatchet with the spike on the end.

Ark3nubis Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 10:00 a.m. PST

Hmm, looks like your personal collection matey! OK, I may stand corrected then, although how much training/practice would you need to be effective with the spear? Nice pic too.

Shagnasty Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 10:01 a.m. PST


Uesugi Kenshin Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 10:19 a.m. PST

Katana or Tachi.

Mardaddy Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 10:33 a.m. PST

OK, look, if it comes to hand weapons, unless you've REALLY thought this through and have other equipment as well, you're already dead.

I know weapons talk is sexy… the imagination fires off with pros and cons, design elements and, "employment factors." Truth be told, you should be more fearful of blood spatter as a major pro/con regarding hand weapons choice.

How many wannabe-survivors actaully give thought to the amount of blood spatter they'd encounter with their weapon of choice? Had you already thought out the logical consequences of using those hand weapons & what clothing/protection you MUST have?

Think of how easy it would be for any of the blood/residue to mix with the sweat of exertion and work it's way into ones nose, eyes, mouth, breathing in bloodmist, dripping into whatever incidental cuts & abrasions one might have or get before decon?

If you are going to think this through to make a choice, then THINK it through.

Bats? Mace? I'd avoid bashing weapons due to the bloodmist you'd breathe and the unpredictable inevitable spatter, and sorry, I would want any of them within crowbar/hatchet distance.

Consectari's modified pitchfork sounds almost ideal for slow-movers, keep em at a distance, no need to be perfect with a strike like one would need to be with a spear (the spike-spread of the tines accounts for some measure of aiming error due to adrenaline rush or unfamiliarity.)

Fast-movers, I don't think there is ANY hand to hand that would make a real difference, the number of them one would encounter, with the limitations of protective gear and visibility would just make it untenable.

willthepiper30 Nov 2012 10:42 a.m. PST

You're all wrong. Lawn mower is the way to go!

YouTube link

(warning – gruesome footage, in a silly, over the top sort of way!)

Personal logo Ed the Two Hour Wargames guy Sponsoring Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 10:44 a.m. PST

Melee with a zombie. If it gets to that you've made a big mistake someone along the line.

consectari Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 10:56 a.m. PST

Melee with a zombie. If it gets to that you've made a big mistake someone along the line.

I don't know, you can't hide in a hole and expect to survive more than a couple of weeks. You have to search for food and water. Ammo is limited and gunfire draws alot of attention. In much of the world, firearms aren't even an option.

Fortunately, I've never seen anyone get infected by blood splatter from a Romero type zombie.

Meiczyslaw Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 11:04 a.m. PST

Anything pointy enough and stiff enough would work.

The human skull is not that resilient, and you can punch through straight-away. (The old rapier manuals showing targets with swords through their heads weren't kidding.)

Ark3nubis Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 11:08 a.m. PST

Willthepiper, funny you should mention as my mate was asking me fir rules for a shoping trolley with a lawnmower on the front. I said not to be so ridic man! Looks like I may be proved wrong again…

VCarter Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 11:16 a.m. PST

How about a real big snowblower on the front of a riding mower.

tinned fruit Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 11:22 a.m. PST

Sharpened spade.

CeruLucifus30 Nov 2012 11:24 a.m. PST

A spiked bludgeon is probably better than a blunt one for ensuring brain trauma (a deep puncture probably splatters less too -- think about poking a skewer into an egg versus smashing it).

And I agree a spear with guard is useful some of the time, though there will be other occasions when an axe is preferred, or hammer (spiked, see above).

This argues for a halberd as being the best head on the end of the pole, since it incorporates guarded spear, axe, and weighted spike in one weapon. Also a hook, handy for catching a zombie for your friend to finish off.

The Halligen Bar is probably the best ready-made halberd-like weapon.

For controlling blood spatter, obviously the light saber is perfect since it cauterizes / vaporizes as it strikes. When available.

Skrapwelder30 Nov 2012 11:27 a.m. PST

If I had to get that close I would have to say a Bec du Corbin with a hand guard or the boar spear.

Princeps Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 11:37 a.m. PST

Poleaxe: Spike, hammer, and axe all in one. However, I'll stick with a .45 UMP as my primary.

DColtman30 Nov 2012 12:17 p.m. PST

How about the "Lobo"


Timbo W30 Nov 2012 12:33 p.m. PST

How about a captive bolt pistol running off compressed air, like 'No country for old men' ?

kreoseus2 Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 12:57 p.m. PST

Machete + riot shield, boar spear.

If I had the skill, the double forearm blades the clockwork nazi from Hellboy uses.

Still waiting to see Predator vs Zombies…..

Feet up now Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 1:03 p.m. PST

Light saber
okay so its not real like zombies….

skippy0001 Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 1:19 p.m. PST

Claymore..mine, that is.

XRaysVision Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 1:21 p.m. PST

A cricket bat.

BTW, you've got red on you.

Dragon Gunner30 Nov 2012 1:31 p.m. PST

Warhammer or mace gets my vote.

Personal logo Ed the Two Hour Wargames guy Sponsoring Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 1:38 p.m. PST

I don't know, you can't hide in a hole and expect to survive more than a couple of weeks. You have to search for food and water. Ammo is limited and gunfire draws alot of attention. In much of the world, firearms aren't even an option.

You have a huge mobility advantage as well as time on your side. I wouldn't go looking for supplies when I needed them, better to shop before you need. You don't have to go looking for food etc. at night so you shouldn't have to melee as you shouldn't be surprised. Anyway, don't want to go off topic here.

Melee weapon would be aluminum bat. You don't have to kill the zed just knock him down and get away.

Personal logo Jlundberg Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 1:52 p.m. PST


Mine is better since it is double bladed and mounted at the end of the ax handle

Coabeous Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:16 p.m. PST

3LB Hammer, old school bikers used to carry those over sized ballpein hammers for a reason.


abbcampbell Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:20 p.m. PST

AK47 w/ bayonet. :)

Alternately Shaolin Spade: link

Scorpio Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:22 p.m. PST

Pitchforks and spears and polearms, I would think you'd overextend yourself, and if a zed gets in too close, it becomes a liability.

My vote is the aluminum baseball bat.

PistolPete Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:33 p.m. PST

i'm for alloy bat for the reasons listed above.

cricket bat sounds good too but might want to drill holes to decrease wind resistance.

as far as "reach" weapons – how about a tree pruner or a shovel. i like the idea of a halberd too but worry about the weight.

Cdude93 Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:42 p.m. PST

I'd say my personal favorite would have to be the old baseball bat + circular saw blade = axe. :)

Also, my brother did get me a replica of Glamdring the Foe-Hammer for xmas that one time, I might use that until it inevitably breaks. The stamp on the blade says "Made in Pakistan" so I don't have any illusions about it :P

Mardaddy Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:48 p.m. PST

Jlundberg – In the Marines we called those bush axes. Has a number of those in stock with Infantry and Engineer Battalions, not sure about other elements.

spectre Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 2:55 p.m. PST

trenching tool with a sharpened edge

Delthos Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 3:41 p.m. PST

The Crovel Extreme. True multi-purpose survival tool.


Personal logo javelin98 Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 4:10 p.m. PST

I'd like one of those Aztec war clubs with the obsidian embedded in it. Can't remember what those were called.

Otherwise, pretty much anything the Prawns brought with them to District 9.

chuck05 Supporting Member of TMP Fezian30 Nov 2012 4:12 p.m. PST

Chuck Norris

PistolPete Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 4:21 p.m. PST

"Chuck norris" – we havecan a winner. Assuming he doesn't turn zombie, humanity might stand a chance. Otherwise we're doomed.

Delthos Inactive Member30 Nov 2012 4:47 p.m. PST

What do you mean "Assuming he doesn't turn zombie."

It will never happen. Zombies just look at Chuck and they smash their own heads open rather than get hit by Chuck!

Tekawiz30 Nov 2012 4:54 p.m. PST

Interesting discussion. I'd probably go with the Boar Spear because its reltively lightweight head so I can be maneuvered quicky in hand to hand combat and pentrate the zed at a distance. Plus I think it would be light weight enough to carry on long hikes and useful for hunting food.

Personal logo Patrick R Supporting Member of TMP30 Nov 2012 5:37 p.m. PST




Maxshadow30 Nov 2012 6:08 p.m. PST

Jemmy bar for me too (you turn the claw away so it doesn't get stuck in skulls)plus its handy to get you in or out of places. Two handed weapons are too awkward in inclosed places for my likeing. :oP

Justin Penwith30 Nov 2012 10:22 p.m. PST

Melee weapons with some reach are of limited utility in narrow confines (doorways, hallways). Also, if pressed by a large crowd of zeds, one is liable to overreach or become too extended to recover back before the horde grabs you.

Any weapon that kills by penetration is also a problem as they are more prone to getting stuck in bone or being too deep in dead flesh.

Any heavy weapon will tire you out long before the zeds stop coming after you.

If the weapon takes two or more strikes to deliver a killing blow, then each extra strike is a zed that you will be delayed in killing before it kills you.

An aluminum bat is great, except when your hand gets sweaty or covered in blood and the bat flies out of your hand and into the midst of the horde.

So, for me, I'd go with a broad headed, but lightweight (the alloy in professional cycling bicycles) warhammer, with a double head, meaning no spike that can get stuck. The handle would have a lanyard, so I'd be less likely to lose it.

It would be about 24-28 inches long, keeping me about double arms length away from a zed.

I would not strike for the head unless I could get a clean blow to the temple or the top of the skull, instead I would strike at the knee. A crawling zed is more easily evaded than a walking zed…. And an easier target for my range weapon equipped allies.

A stand up fight with zeds is a losing proposition, as they have unlimited stamina and I don't. So, I'd only be involved in a melee with a zed if i have no other option.

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