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"You're Not Really a Wargamer If..." Topic

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Action Log

23 Jun 2012 7:13 p.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

  • Crossposted to Wargaming in General board

07 Dec 2017 2:31 p.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

  • Removed from TMP Poll Suggestions board

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3,061 hits since 22 Jun 2012
©1994-2020 Bill Armintrout
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Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian23 Jun 2012 7:13 p.m. PST


Spreewaldgurken23 Jun 2012 7:16 p.m. PST

You shave and wear a collar to a wargame convention? (Or at least a tee-shirt with no logo or illustration.)


You don't have a lead pile!

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian23 Jun 2012 7:33 p.m. PST

You've never played Flames of War? (ducks) evil grin

IronMike23 Jun 2012 7:43 p.m. PST

You have ever NOT uttered any of the following:
"Okay, show me in the rulebook where it says I CAN'T do that!"
"But the rules CLEARLY state…"
"It REALLY doesn't work that way!"

nevinsrip23 Jun 2012 8:25 p.m. PST

You haven't almost passed out from the smell of the guy in front of you at Historicon (or any CON).

J Womack 9423 Jun 2012 8:33 p.m. PST

You don't own any dice.

You don't have your own tape measure.

You don't read rules you never plan to play, just to "see how they did it."

You don't know what an "Osprey" is.

You don't know that Nappy grognards can be a bit, er… fussy about paint jobs.

peterx Supporting Member of TMP23 Jun 2012 9:09 p.m. PST

You don't play wargames.

Jakse37523 Jun 2012 9:38 p.m. PST

….you didn't have to explain to your non-gamer friends that 300 was "loosely" based on an actual battle. and you didn't have a book on hand to prove it.

darthfozzywig Supporting Member of TMP23 Jun 2012 9:46 p.m. PST

You realize t-shirts come in colors other than black and sizes other than XXL.

Prince Rupert of the Rhine23 Jun 2012 10:40 p.m. PST

… you can watch a war movie without pointing out every little thing that is wrong with it…

Rapier Miniatures24 Jun 2012 12:34 a.m. PST

Editor, surely its, your not a real wargamer if you HAVE played Flames of War…

ZULUPAUL Supporting Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 1:52 a.m. PST

I would ammend leadpile to lead & plastic pile!

Tarleton24 Jun 2012 1:55 a.m. PST

If you put polls on TMP about whats your favourite;
band of…,
flavoured weenie,

Dynaman878924 Jun 2012 3:47 a.m. PST

If you won't play a game without minis, then you are just a miniatures gamer.

Dave Crowell24 Jun 2012 4:46 a.m. PST

If you don't know what CRT is and have at least one memorized.

You can"t calculate distances accurately without measuring.

If you think the "War of Jenkin's Ear" is just a TMP in joke.

Personal logo Rrobbyrobot Supporting Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 4:54 a.m. PST

I've never run into someone who simply claimed to be a wargamer. Missunderstandings about what a gamer is has happened. Mostly the other was a video gamer.
I've been accused. Almost always by someone standing across the table from me while playing a game with my figures, at a friend's house, so at their table, and the accuser didn't even have their own dice with them. Oh, and often the accuser was at least ten years my junior.

GarrisonMiniatures24 Jun 2012 5:22 a.m. PST

'You don't know that Nappy grognards can be a bit, er… fussy about paint jobs.'

Isn't a Nappy something rather smelly and worn by babies? What has that got to do with wargaming?

Don Manser24 Jun 2012 5:30 a.m. PST

..if you've never had this exchange.

Looks like that unit is out of the arc.

Are you sure? These bases don't look square.

What do you want, a protractor?

Do you have one?

Personal logo Inari7 Supporting Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 6:50 a.m. PST

Don't visit TMP :)

BigJoeDuke Supporting Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 6:51 a.m. PST

You've never said "Don't roll a one."

Klebert L Hall24 Jun 2012 6:51 a.m. PST

If you don't play wargames.

moonhippie324 Jun 2012 7:34 a.m. PST

I'm a big scary looking long haired biker dude type with scars and all. People at work are scared of me until I start explaining the battle of Thermopolye, or Antietum, or Normandy, and then I become this big loveable teddy bear in thier eyes that they come to for advise. I suffer enough humiliation as it is.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 9:16 a.m. PST

Looks like that unit is out of the arc.

Are you sure? These bases don't look square.

What do you want, a protractor?

I'm not using your [insert facial expression implying the word "loaded"] protractor. I'll use mine.

Yesthatphil24 Jun 2012 9:31 a.m. PST

You're not really a wargamer if …

… you think it's only a game thumbs up

Black Cavalier24 Jun 2012 10:10 a.m. PST

If you haven't at least once ruined one of your spouse's/partner's kitchen utensils in one of your projects.

My wife made me buy a new flour sifter after I used ours for separating ballast & flocking that were mixed together. Still don't understand why.

Duc de Limbourg24 Jun 2012 10:52 a.m. PST

you don''t tell people that you are a wargamer

Tuudawgs24 Jun 2012 11:16 a.m. PST

When someone saying "The big game on Saturday" makes you think of baseball, football, basketball, etc.

Uesugi Kenshin Supporting Member of TMP24 Jun 2012 11:53 a.m. PST

Youre affraid to tell friends or family what your hobby is.

14Bore24 Jun 2012 11:59 a.m. PST

You don't look at every small object and think can I use it for terrain?

Scott Kursk24 Jun 2012 1:53 p.m. PST

…you're happy to actually be able to get into black xxl t-shirts.
…your spouse won't tell people she meets about your disc golf hobby since that is the geekiest thing you do.
…you hear the word "French" and instead of thinking people or food you think second box from the top in the hall closet unless you're talking moderns which are bottom box bedroom closet closest to the door.
…you complained about Games Workshop and their constant price increases.

religon24 Jun 2012 7:14 p.m. PST

You can't instantaneously divide 6 into 1.

wrgmr124 Jun 2012 10:27 p.m. PST

Your one of the few people who knows what a "Rules Lawyer" is.
You can calculate simple math, plus and minus's faster than anyone you know.
You would rather play golf.

ViscountEric25 Jun 2012 3:16 a.m. PST

Ah the XXL t-shirt, more commly referred to by con staffs as a "gamer's small".

Don196225 Jun 2012 4:11 a.m. PST

You have not repeatedly felt embarrassed explaining to your adult friends what a grown man is doing playing with toy soldiers.

Inkpaduta25 Jun 2012 5:42 a.m. PST

if you have never said "Gees, when I did to roll high I roll low and when I need to roll low I roll high!".

richarDISNEY25 Jun 2012 7:46 a.m. PST

You dream in miniature.

flicking wargamer25 Jun 2012 9:41 a.m. PST

You have never told everyone about some great military victory you had where you routed everyone in front of you and reversed history, how you would have saved the Confederacy, or the French, or the Germans, or any other losing side had you been in charge since you have done so many times in miniature.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP25 Jun 2012 2:08 p.m. PST

You dream in miniature.

I actually do this sometimes.

I also sometimes dream multivariate calculus.

No Cthulu dreams … yet.

kreoseus225 Jun 2012 2:48 p.m. PST

you have never stood on a D4 in our bare feet. Gamer caltrops.

SultanSevy25 Jun 2012 5:13 p.m. PST

…you mutter to yourself, "I think I finally have enough minis."

Uesugi Kenshin Supporting Member of TMP26 Jun 2012 8:29 a.m. PST

You cant understand why someone would want to collect the exat same army in 3 different scales!

Scott Kursk26 Jun 2012 1:50 p.m. PST

You don't have multiple bookmark folders on your browser labeled "minis", "cool minis", "paint", "bday/xmas ideas", "terrain", "really cool minis", and "project ideas".

On a side note, I'm not, ahem, fessing up to actually having those folders on my browser and actually occasionally sorting the links in them, that'd be really anal. There's this guy I know…

Scorpio27 Jun 2012 5:07 a.m. PST

You're not really a wargamer if you start discussing who is and isn't a real wargamer. Our hobby should be one of acceptance, not exclusion. We play with toy soldiers, ferchrissakes.

Gunfreak Supporting Member of TMP28 Jun 2012 7:19 a.m. PST

You've never been to the doghouse

Omemin28 Jun 2012 11:20 a.m. PST

…you use zombies.

…you don't game wars.

sumerandakkad29 Jun 2012 9:44 a.m. PST

……you only play 'Magic the Gathering' or similar.


You haven't gotten into a flame war over the use of Nappies vs Napoleonics.

Unrepentant Werewolf at work13 Jul 2012 3:11 a.m. PST

IronMike & Prince Rupert ftw!

Personal logo 20thmaine Supporting Member of TMP13 Jul 2012 4:15 a.m. PST

You spend more time on TMP than you do wargaming.

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