"If you had a Time Machine how would you alter Waterloo" Topic

A brilliant question and some great answers

I would have told Jermome to bring back all his infantry and attack Hougomont with only one brigade (all day)

I would not have launched that huge column attack by D'Erlon

I would have sent up all my light infantry and had them skirmish with the British for a few hours while the ground was drying.

I would have sent in D'Erlon or Jerome with the other one is support.

I should first of all have made absolutely bloody sure that the Gentlemen's Sons in the Foot Guards were supplied with sufficient umbrellas, and at HM expense. Frightful Bloody Weather, wot?! Can hardly expect a gentleman to get his brow damp as well as having to fight!

Come off it, Napoleon threw Waterloo away. He should have won, and every wargame replay usually ends up with Nap winning.

That's why I insist on the French player(s) be drunk while we play.

And I mean 'inebriated'. You don't drink French players. You saute and eat them.

R Mark Davies that being said I asked the question and you did'nt answer it,so why respond if you were'nt going to answer the question as I asked it?

And Der Alte Fritz I'm sorry for asking the question but you might've heard of someone who gave the Confederate's at Gettysburg AK-47's.

This reminds me of my friend who wrote and alternate history of the Waterloo Campaign.

So he sent a copy to Greenhill publishing and they wrote to him saying well do the French have to win,and the answer would be it's an alternate history for Christ sake.

Plus it's also like wargaming when once all the minis are on the table and once you start moving are'nt you changing history?

Captain Gideon

darthfozzywig why should the French players be drunk?

I don't drink never have and never will so you can't force me to do something I don't want to do.

Captain Gideon

Pro French, I like Gazzola's comments!

Since Gideon is so intent on siding with Evil. I would have no choice but to go back to the seige of Toulon, make sure I'm standing behind that British sgt and just nudge his pike a little higher and to the centre some more.

That would save countless lives, see good triumph and Gideon's plot foiled.

CG,

Are you bloody serious? :o)

By my count, there were approximately 33 silly and irrelevant replies before mine!

In that case, I'd make sure I warped back before you and would then wait with a camera for the first humourless twonk of a 'captain' to try offering l'Empereur advice. I would then post the pictures up on here.

;o)

R Mark Davies yes I'm bloody serious as you say and I still ask why did you respond if you did'nt want to answer my question as I put it?

Edwulf why would you say that I'm siding with evil I think that Napoleon was one of the(if not the)greatest Military Commanders of all time and I really don't think he was that evil.

And I won't even bother with the rest of what you said.

Captain Gideon

As I said when I started this post was to help Napoleon win Waterloo,and some members did not follow this.

Captain Gideon

Please explain why you think you have a right to control and police responses.
THIFFFF IFFFF TMP!
If I choose to NOT help Boney, I am somehow banned from participating? Ixnay on that.
I do not recall anyone ever being sent to the DH for not cooperating with the OP. Lord knows, nobody cooperates with ME, so …

I might point out that the more seriously you take yourself around here, the less likely the Peanut Gallery is to cooperate with you.
Deal with it, and quit whining about it.

Mark

Wonderful ideas, perhaps give them a digital camera and a couple of centuries of batteries.

CG

Stifle us if you dont like to read what we write – I need a stifle, somebody reneged on one the other day.

His greatness as a general is undisputed captain, as is his unquestionable seduction to the dark side.

Would the side of good invade an allied/ friendly nation (Spain) and unleash untold misery on men who but three years previous were fighting alongside you? He owed his rise to the outpouring of evil that was the revolution does good emerge from the bowels of hell?
If he was good why did he lose? Good always wins in the end.

Granted he had some snazzy uniforms, which blind some admirers. He was still firmly on the dark side.

I'm sorry John I thought things would be different here.

I do know that on some forums/message boards a person who started a topic had the rights to delete that topic,but it seems that TMP does'nt have that luxury.

So if you want to post here please go ahead but I'll pursue things on other threads on TMP.

Captain Gideon

Napoleon should've answered the question before the battle:

"Now what are we going to do if Nosey pulls that reverse slope thing?"

I always hate it when a question like this comes up, and then invariably come the answers that modern weapons should be used. (insert face palm emoticon here).

If you don't want me to use modern weapons, put that as a limit in the OP. Otherwise, I've got a time machine and a request to win the battle.

Ok, no modern weapons allowed… What about weapons ~70 years newer? breech-loaders with cartridges? Gatling guns?

Amazing :o)

(Not that you can read this, of course)

Greetings

Assuming we are talking about one person going back in time we can rule out significant modern weaponry. What is one of the most important things in warfare – information:

Option (a) Provide Napoleon with accurate intelligence – possibly disguised as a courier – early on the 18th.

Option (b) to influence the campaign at least in the short term, replace or supplement the courier to D'Erlon to get him to contribute to either Ligny or Quatre Bras.

Of course both options presuppose that you are fluent in French and not taken to be a spy…

It would probably be better if this was on a Fantasy or Alt-history board. (Mind you a skirmish game involving time travelling agents trying to change or maintain the course of history could be entertaining).

Regards

Edward

Didn't Blackadder go to Waterloo in his Time Machine ?

I must go and watch it again to see the result.

Kustenjaeger, while not usually in favour of "what ifs" I find myself liking your skirmish scenario.

However, if you Gentlemen will excuse an outsider's ignorance: this Captain Gideon, is he real?!

I'd make sure the Eurostar still departed from Waterloo so I didn't have to go to Kings Cross – and to keep reminding the French about the great Allied victory that saved Europe from the Corsican Tyrant.

this Captain Gideon, is he real?!

I suspect he is the result of a horrible matter-transfer acident – One ordinary man went in, two came out – Cannard Sage, with the madness and the whimsy, Gideon with the humourlessness.

Pat

Musketier on the March- that is a topic that has come up before, and as yet Captain Gideon is yet to be pinned down as either a genuinely highly-strung individual, or Connard Sage (or other) as an ironically humourous pseudo-personality. Either way I think he's welcome.

I think keeping Napoleon in good health would have helped on the day- so a few packs of Rennies during the week preceding the battle could have helped. Not that I'd have wanted him to win, but slip me a £50.00 GBP note and I'd see what I could do…

Leigh

He exists. He was assembled in Nottingham from bits of dead wargamers.

Presumably they didn't have a Humerus left?

He reminds me of Mr Logic from Viz. :o)

Cap'n, pleeeaase don't go, I love your posts. Keep 'em coming. Your fan, Matt.

Musketier on the March have you ever seen StarBlazers?

If so you would know where Captain Gideon comes from.

And Pat not funny but I do have humor but I've not found anything funny around here for some time.

Captain Gideon

Matt I know you're trying to be funny but you're not.

And I would'nt have posted here again but some members did mention me and I had to respond,otherwise I would not have bothered.

Captain Gideon

Funny is in the eye of the beholder…

(Not that you can read this either)

I do know what's funny and what's not as far as I see it.

(You might not be able to read this either)

Captain Gideon

Of that I have no doubt.

I knew you wouldn't be able to resist unstifling me ;o)

So what was your problem with my first suggestion re getting the lads to smarten themselves up a bit for battle? It would a. Have given them a bit more pride and esprit de corps and b. Made future wargames more attractive. What's not to like?

I also think that giving Napoleon's army a load of digital cameras was a fantastic idea!

R Mark Davies your opinions/suggestions are your own and you can keep them.

Captain Gideon

The most likely way to get Napoleon to win (assuming I am the only person going back) would definitely be able to speak local french, and show up as a courier with real intel.

Or a suppository.

OK Cap'n G, all joking aside;

I really don't think he was that evil.

"What are the death of a million men to a man such as I?" Napoleon Bonaparte

Still think he wasn't that evil? Evil isn't just defined as lounging in a leather chair stroking a white cat you know…

IIRC Bony hated cats, whereas Old Nosey was rather fond of them – provided they were the nine-tailed variety…

Sparker you might be right but I can think of a few men who went above and beyond what Napoleon ever did.

And these men would be:

Adolf Hitler

Joseph Stalin

Mao Tse Tung

Of these 3 men Mao killed 6 million or so of his own people,while Stalin killed thousands if not hundereds of thousands including gutting his own millitary command staff which allowed Hitler to do what he did for a few years.

And what can I say about Hitler that has'nt already been said.

If I remember right David Chandler wrote Napoleon was a good bad man.

I mean to some people he was evil but to others he was great,but I must say that Hitler,Stalin and Mao cornered the market on evil.

Captain Gideon

1. Give Napoleon a couple of Asprin in the morning.

2. Stand D'Erlon right next to Napoleon when he receives his orders to attack the English centre so he cant misinterpret them.

3. Send Jerome on some random errand for the whole day out back of woop woop.

David
wardepot.blogspot.com

If you really want Napoleon to win, just poison the punch at the Duchess of Richmond's ball; horrible, and but far fewer deaths than the other proposals.

Θα προδώσετε τον ο Ναπολέων με ένα σκουριασμένο μπαγιονέτ

Corporal Giddy: you just have to love him, although I can imagine that gaming with him would be an experience never to repeat. We need him on TMP; sometimes it gets a bit dull on here and then up pops Giddy to give us all something to chuckle at:).

I do not regard Napoleon as evil, largely because I reject the concept of evil. However, he was certainly a very bad man by modern standards, although possibly not by the standards of his time. I believe that Chandler actually described him as a "great bad man", a description that he borrowed from another historian.

Stalin killed rather more than hundreds of thousands.

Well Colly what rock did you crawl out from under?

And unless you're able to read minds you really don't know anything about me,so get your facts straight(which I doubt you can) before you say anything else about me.

Since most of what you're saying is a lie.

Captain Gideon

It seems I was in error in regards to Stalin and Mao.

Stalin in his 23 years as the ruler of the Soviet Union killed at least 43 Million,while Mao killed between 49 and 78 Million

And these 2 men are 1 and 2(Mao taking the top spot)of people killed.

So sorry for being wrong about these 2.

Captain Gideon

Or a suppository.

Rule #4 of emergency medical service: Handle no-one's 'junk' but your own.

Still winning friends and influencing people Pte Gids?

How do you think l'Empereur is going to react to an opinionated, stroppy 14 year-old who claims he can time-travel?

R Mark Davies I don't know any stroppy 14 year-old's who claims he can time-travel,but then you know some don't you?

And as far as winning friends as you say I don't need to win friends I have several very good ones who can respect me for who I am and we share our interest in the gaming hobby.

Also people like me for who I am and we have mutual respect for each other,which is something that may be lacking from you.

Captain Gideon

Thanks Cdt Cpl Giddy, you're great value :o)

If you're lucky, l'Empereur might let you be a drummer boy.

Giddy,

Please point out the lies in what I posted:

"Corporal Giddy: you just have to love him, although I can imagine that gaming with him would be an experience never to repeat (this is true as it is an accurate statement of what I imagine). We need him on TMP; sometimes it gets a bit dull on here (this is true) and then up pops Giddy to give us all something to chuckle at (this is true):).

I do not regard Napoleon as evil (this is true), largely because I reject the concept of evil (this is true). However, he was certainly a very bad man by modern standards (probably true), although possibly not by the standards of his time (probably true). I believe that Chandler actually described him as a "great bad man" (this is true), a description that he borrowed from another historian (this is true).

Stalin killed rather more than hundreds of thousands (this is true)."

Ok, maybe I lied where I said we had to love you, and where I said that we need you on TMP. On second thoughts, maybe they were incorrect assertions rather than lies.

Well Colly for one thing the name is CAPTAIN GIDEON and not Corporal Giddy.

As for the rest of it no matter what I say you're going to twist it around and use it against me anyway for your own pleasure so why should I bother answering you?

CAPTAIN GIDEON

Will you put your captain's uniform on the next time we twist you around for our own pleasure? :)