"What if Wargaming was the national past time?" Topic

What if wargaming was as popular as NFL football? With the paychecks, cheerleaders and fans?

"Tonight it's the Dallas Dicers versus the Kansas City Kriegspielers! And the announced field of battle….Waterloo!!"

For one thing, there would be no animus against the star players endorsing beer.

I can see the OFM endorsing Yuengling Lager. Truly I can.

I would do something else.

Which nation? Which pastime?

Not more groupies – pleeease!

Bruntonboy beat me to it.

Soap manufacturing would stop.

Arrrgh!

No comment.

Eric

Then companies like Perry's , Old Glory, Games Workshop, Battlefront, etc would all be Fortune 500 companies and probably stock market indices as well.

With my luck I would be the Cubs of wargaming…

In the spirit of recent polls can I just say it should be:
'What if Wargaming WERE…'
Hypothetical conditional, taking the subjunctive mood.

I'd be doing something else too. Probably sports.

If it were a sport like football, then instead of playing the game we would all be sitting around watching a few overpaid babies playing on TV. What a dreadful thought. (I did not even watch the Super Bowl, Puppy Bowl for me)

I would be in the minor leagues . company endorsements would be on everyting . Roman sheilds would have Budwiser logos .

I can see it…
Televised like chess games…
"as a bead of sweat rolls down players one forehead…"…

Didn't Ben Bova write a novel that had the main characters enter virtual reality battlefield, and the objective was to do just a little bit better than the original leaders. Everything from the tensile strength of stirups to humidity effects on bow strings was accounted for.

In the spirit of recent polls can I just say it should be:
'What if Wargaming WERE…'
Hypothetical conditional, taking the subjunctive mood.

If one wished to be really pedantic, one could point out that 'pastime' is a single word…

If wargaming were a national sport, I'd find another hobby.

It would be a very small nation with very peculiar national demographics! A population of almost entirely cranky old men quibbling over picayune minutia ad nauseum! Give us a seat on the U.N. Security Council and we'll bore the socks off them! They can't veto discussion, only resolutions. Of course we might be prone to starting new wars just to spice up the hobby.
Rod Robertson

Didn't Ben Bova write a novel that had the main characters enter virtual reality battlefield, and the objective was to do just a little bit better than the original leaders. Everything from the tensile strength of stirups to humidity effects on bow strings was accounted for.

I don't remember if Ben Bova was the author, but there was a series of short stories on that subject.

Jim

What if red were green?

> It would be a very small nation with very peculiar national demographics! A population of almost entirely cranky old men quibbling over picayune minutia ad nauseum!

I take it you never watched football fans arguing…

National past time?

Is that like Greenwich Mean Time or Pacific Standard Time, but for people with TARDISes?

This sort of conversation would get even more surreal:
YouTube link

How would Vegas handle the line? Imagine the eventual corruption scandals when it's discovered wargamers were throwing battles and betting against themselves. They'd make movies of the Historican 8 or Fall-In Fats.

I wonder what effect it would have on the national view towards real war? Would war again become the "sport of kings and presidents?" Or would we be so knowledgable about the horrors of war from our research that we would want to abolish all real armed forces and resolve our disputes via a Flames of War tournament?

It is actually a rather interesting question about the effect on society by making a national pastime out of something that simulates actual death and destruction.

Erectile Dysfunction commercials would probably not be necessary during the games :o) Know your target audience.

I don't know, I do pretty well with the ladies.

If one wished to be really pedantic, one could point out that 'pastime' is a single word…

I apologise, I am that pedantic but I never read past 'was', after that I was howling like a banshee and flailing wildly.

I apologise, I am that pedantic but I never read past 'was', after that I was howling like a banshee and flailing wildly.

Good man. Carry on :)

If 6 were 9….

I dunno, but I don't want Madonna singing in my game room when we stop the action to get a pizza!

And as a national tradition, the President would throw the first 2d6 every spring.

If wargaming were a national sport, I'd find another hobby.

Me too, probably. Why would I stop doing something I enjoy if too many people also enjoyed it ? Don't know, but it's true.

Rationallty I suspect it's because all the razz-ma-tazz and the celebrity player endorsements would make me puke. And I don't like to puke.

Great comments! Some are really funny. I apologize for my poor grammar. I knew I could count on you for true insight!……"first 2D6 of the spring"…love it.

Think of all the prestige that the things that live in mom's basement would have……

Yea, but lots of downside issues too, e.g.:

- even more vociferous rules lawyers;
- instant replay;
- penalties;
- limited numbers of timeouts;
- no food or drink in the playing area;
- groupies;
- lawyers and agents;
- huge paychecks and bonuses;
- large tax bills;
- unscrupulous money managers;
- prima dona wargamers' wives (my sincere apologies to those that already have to deal with these);
- off-season;
- the sequel to the Pro-Bowl (e.g. players that show up, but don't really care about the game, so just go through the motions, and are just there to get a paycheck, or free minis, rules, or a vacation – not to mention all the last minute rules changes to totally change the game);
- no TV coverage of the cheerleaders;
- and possibly even owners, who think they know more than you do about how to manage the troops, or to play the game.

Probably one of the more amusing threads I've read here. Good humor.

I think it is in Australia…

Seriously, when I immigrated here a couple of years ago all my Brit mates warned me that I would only get wargames at conventions, sparse population, big country, blokes all busy shearing fish and spearing sheep etc etc.

I get here and I reckon I have met, and regularly play with, about 2 dozen wargamers all within a 100K radius of where I live, including my mate Doug who lives in the same suburb!

Maybe its the crap beer….

Hey mate, there has to be some good beer…

"Hi, you've met My Son, the Professional Rules Lawyer? Patrick, this is Mrs Schoenegarth's Daughter, Becky. She is built like a Real-doll SHE and finds WRG 5th tireomely overdetailed as well!"

Pat

HEADLINE:

ENGLAND TEAM MANAGER RESIGNS!

The Wargames Association announced today that the national team manager, Phil Barker, had offered his resignation due to 'irreconcilable differences' with the team members and WA Board…

[They couldn't understand the language he used!]

Cheerleaders? Woohoo!

Of course the darker side would also riase its head, drug cheats and game fixing.

What performance enhancing drugs are there for wargamers?

What drug could improve a wargamer's ability to play? …oh..right…all of them.

"prima dona wargamers' wives" :

"You have to charge when you're supposed to charge!"

"My husband cannot pin the enemy and flank them at the same time. I can't believe they blew their morale rolls so many times!"

Just had a horrible thought…

Wargamers bringing out their own clothing lines and scent ranges…

Shudder.

Celebrity wargamers on Big Brother…

Pictures of Bill lounging by his painting table in Hello magazine..

You know, I'm glad we are a minority hobby.

Pub

"Didja watch that pitiful display on Saturday then?"
"Yeah, what the were Redknapp doing sending in 'is Old Guard that late inna ing game?"
"Problem wif Napoleon, 'e always plays it the same ol' way and they BEATS 'im the same ol' way"

Pat

Careful… You'll get Cockney Neck speaking like that!

Problem with Vanilla Marine Terminators… They always try to walk it in :)

True. See you later Moss.

pAT

If it was an olympic sport we could all rack up frequent flyer miles at somebody else's expense, build a massive wargames library – ditto and hold "Training sessions".

I don't think there would be much product placement for toiletries though.

Wargaming is the the Bowls! We just need a few generations, it's more real life than commuter games!