"I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor!" Topic

It's PeteMurray's fault. Finish this song, to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivans "Modern Major General," please.

So I can get it OUT of my head. :)

I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor;

Fighting off the alien and capturing the criminal ...

I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor;

Fighting off the alien and capturing the criminal ...

I preach the the inquisition, print, video and subliminal

I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor;

Fighting off the alien and capturing the criminal ...

I preach the the inquisition, print, video and subliminal

From Malleus to Xenos, all ordos categorical.

Are you an alien or just a visitor,
if just a vistor your hurt will be minimal . . .

Oh *&%$! I didn't copy the whole thing out before adding my bit :-(

I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor,

A quite forboding mix of both a cleric and executor,

I Fight with subtle aliens and cruicfy the criminal,

My preaching methods range from rather blatant to subliminal!

I can detect the faintest hint of reasoning heretical

And scribe your name to secret lists index-ed alphebetical

I've servo skulls and porto-racks and names so allegorical

I am the very model of a Heretic Inquisitor!

BRAVO! *clapclapclpap* *throwscrossontostage*

BRAVO!!!!!

You guys have waaay too much time on your hands! And I hope I never have to play against you in a competition; if you're that quick with the silliness, you must be awesome on the tabletop.

Well done fellows. Of course now you've got it buzzing around in MY head...

My problem was that I could only remember two lines from the Modern Major General. It's REALLY irritating to get a song stuck in your head when you only know two lines. I'm not sure everybody got the meter quite right, but it still helped clear the song virus. ;)

Thanks, guys. :)

(Next time -- Dr. Suess!)

I am the very model of a heretic inquisitor
I've information demonic, alien and criminal
I know the Astarte primachs, and I quote codex lexical
From Malleus to Xenos, in Ordos categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters ecumentical
I understand interrogation, both simple and psychological
About chaos incursion, I'm teeeing with a lot o'news
with many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews.

Chorus:
With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!
With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!
With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!

This should be easier to read ;)

I am the very model of a heretic inquisitor

I've information demonic, alien and criminal

I know the Astarte primachs, and I quote codex lexical

From Malleus to Xenos, in Ordos categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters ecumentical

I understand interrogation, both simple and psychological

About chaos incursion, I'm teeeing with a lot o'news

with many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant
crews.

Chorus:
With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!

With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!

With many dreary facts about the space hulks hidden mutant crews!

"(Next time -- Dr. Suess!)"

Oh jeez... I can see it now.

One 'nid, two 'nids.

Red 'nids, blue 'nids.

:)

Kevin

I will not eat them in a Kan,

with Ghazkul and Strakan.

I wasn't expecting the Heretic Inquisition.

NOOOO one expects the Heritic Inquisition!

Bring out... the spiky chair!

(I have to take a whack at this.)

I am the very model of a heretic Inquisitor;

I hunt them down regardless if they're resident or visitor.

I torture 'til confession, then I kill them 'cause it's merciful.

They pay me by the body count, and so I fill the hearses full.

My old historic predecessors served a certain church in Rome,

But in the forty-thousandth year, my truth comes from a different tome.

I hunt for psykers rogue and then I hunt for Chaos as it's born,

For followers of Nurgle, Tzeentch, and Slaanesh, and, of course, of Khorne!

(servitor skulls sing:)

For followers of Nurgle, Tzeentch, and Slaanesh, and, of course, of Khorne!

For followers of Nurgle, Tzeentch, and Slaanesh, and, of course, of Khorne!

For followers of Nurgle, Tzeentch, and Slaanesh, and, of course, of course, of Khorne!

(Inquisitor resumes)

Don't waste my time with heated proclamations of your innocence;

I've got my ways to make you scream the truth in awful dissonance.

I always find them guilty and I'm looking very sinister --

I am the very model of a heretic Inquisitor!

I love those last two lines, Cke. Brilliant. ;)

Fantastic Job all the way round! Now, on to Pinafore....

OUTSTANDING! Thank you all.

For the Emperor decrees it,
And the Governor believes it,
That he is an Inquisitor,
(Servitor Skulls) That he is an Inquisitor!

Though he might have been a Necron
A Squat or Ork or Scout man
Or perhaps a Space Marine
(Servitor Skulls) Or erhaps a Space Marine

(Very slowly and bombastically)
In spite of all distractions,
He wipes out other factions,
And remains an Inquisitor,
He remains an Inquisitor!

'And that's when I shot him, your Honor.' :)

Darn it! This should read better.

For the Emperor decrees it

And the Governor believes it

That he is an Inquisitor

(Servitor Skulls) That he is an Inquisitor

Though he might have been a Necron

A Squat or Ork or Scout man

Or perhaps a Space Marine

(Servitor Skulls) Or perhaps a Space Marine

(Very slowly and bombastically)
In spite of all distractions

He wipes out other factions

And remains an Inquisitor
(long and drawn out)
He remains an Inquisitor!

I had a similar problem with something stuck in my head not so long ago, only twas a poem by Edgar Allen Poe…..

"Invading London dreary, my weight growing, great and weary,
Fighting gravity so much stronger than I'd ever felt before,
While my lungs struggled, near collapsing, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of something come loose and rapping, rapping on my hoods hatch door,
"'Tis some cable" I muttered, "flapping against my hoods hatch door--
Only this, and nothing more."

So distinctly I remember those humans we did dismember,
And each separate dying member fought its death upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow,-- vainly I had sought to follow
From my dissections end of sorrow,-- from my lungs so rent and sore--
From the painful gross infection that left my lungs so rent and sore --
Coughing sputum phlegm and more."

For the rest see: link

and page 2
link

You lot cant say you didnt ask for it....

**The Ballad Of Grenadier Freitag**

Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale,

a tale of a firefight,

that started on this tabletop,

one dark and rainy night.

The Zug were all Bavarians,

the Hauptman brave and pure,

They set off on patrol that night,

for a three hour tour,

a three hour tour....

The fire started getting rough,

the tiny men did rock,

If not for the rolling of some crappy dice,

the truppen would be lost,

the truppen would be lost....

Their half-track crashed by the riverside,

the crew began to flee,

The Grenadiers,

their mortar tube,

maschinegeweher,

and the sight,

The Panzerfaust...the Hauptman and his Sturmgewehr,

Ran with Grenadier Freitag.

Dr. Seuss?

Like Son of Sam I am?

I will not kill them in a box.
I will not kill them with a fox.
I will not kill them here nor there...

Up till now the best spoof of the Major General song was the series final of Reboot! You guys just topped that. Kudos!

And for Hacksaw, "Skipper!";)