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"Favorite Dadisms" Topic

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19 May 2017 4:33 p.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

  • Removed from Utter Drivel board
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2,388 hits since 10 Jan 2012
©1994-2018 Bill Armintrout
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Personal logo J Womack 94 Supporting Member of TMP10 Jan 2012 8:06 p.m. PST

By this, I am looking for one of those things either you say, or your daddy says, or your granddaddy says, or whatever.

I'm partial to these two:

Ugly enough to drive buzzards off a pile of guts.

Useless as teats on a boar hog.

BrianW10 Jan 2012 8:12 p.m. PST

Couldn't pour Bleeped text out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

21eRegt10 Jan 2012 8:12 p.m. PST

Too windy to stack BBs.

kyoteblue Inactive Member10 Jan 2012 8:13 p.m. PST


cavcrazy10 Jan 2012 8:29 p.m. PST

"That boy would sell his car for gas money"

Sysiphus Inactive Member10 Jan 2012 8:29 p.m. PST

From Dad, a Vermonter, "Cold enough to freeze a witch's tit".

epturner Supporting Member of TMP10 Jan 2012 8:40 p.m. PST

"Dumb as a box of hammers"

"That's a little known, well-known fact"

"It's the same reason why the Irish don't rule the world"

Dad, still a fountain of wit and wisdom at 68 plus.


RazorMind10 Jan 2012 8:49 p.m. PST

You boys are making more noise than two skeletions squaredancing on a tin roof!

Korvessa10 Jan 2012 8:55 p.m. PST

"Aint had so much fun since we watched the pigs eat my little brother"

highlandcatfrog Inactive Member10 Jan 2012 9:33 p.m. PST

From my grandfather:

"It was the least I could do, and I always do the least I can."

"It's better to be a smartass than a dumb<figure it out>."

Tommy2010 Jan 2012 9:38 p.m. PST

Probably won't pass the filter, but:

Better to be Bleeped texted off than Bleeped texted on!

Edit: Nope, didn't think so. Replace Bleeped texted with euphemism for urinated.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP10 Jan 2012 10:02 p.m. PST

I can't remember exactly how he phrased it, but he hated the Yankees because they kept buying all the good players off his Philadelphia Athletics, and he hated the Dallas Cowboys because they shot his president.

Personal logo J Womack 94 Supporting Member of TMP10 Jan 2012 10:15 p.m. PST

Colder than a witch's tit

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

bsrlee10 Jan 2012 10:29 p.m. PST

If you can't suck seed, suck eggs – actually my grandmother.

There are only 2 people around here who are wrong, and I'm both of them – my grandfather.

Thomas Nissvik Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 2:01 a.m. PST

"I haven't had this much fun since we went dragging for grandma in the wrong lake."

platypus01au11 Jan 2012 2:20 a.m. PST

Couldn't organize a root in a brothel.

Very Australian.


MajorB11 Jan 2012 2:23 a.m. PST

Watch out for the other idiot.

kreoseus2 Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 2:40 a.m. PST

Couldnt beat snow off a rope

Couldnt organise a Bleeped textup in a brewery

Chuckaroobob11 Jan 2012 3:54 a.m. PST

You're not worth the dynamite to blow you up.

Personal logo Patrick R Supporting Member of TMP11 Jan 2012 3:59 a.m. PST

As easy as a chainsaw going through Bambi

That one has the IQ of a wet towel

Standard answer to "I have a question" : "Use more lubrication."

Dynaman878911 Jan 2012 4:05 a.m. PST

Your going to have fun weather you like it or not.

Overheard that gem when working at the boardwalk.

Personal logo elsyrsyn Supporting Member of TMP11 Jan 2012 4:56 a.m. PST

"Keep your feet warm, and your head cool"

Actually, from my paternal grandfather (whom I never met), passed on via dad.


zippyfusenet Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 5:05 a.m. PST

zoll gornisht helfen

MajorB11 Jan 2012 5:47 a.m. PST

Your going to have fun weather you like it or not.

What do you regard as "fun weather"?

tigrifsgt11 Jan 2012 6:06 a.m. PST

My Dads favorite to all of his sons on their wedding day, "Remember, anything you find in a daiper, will wash off your hands". Anyone can borrow this. TIG

Frederick Supporting Member of TMP11 Jan 2012 6:09 a.m. PST


"If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose"

"Somewhere there's a village missing an idiot"

"Legend in his own mind"

"There's a right way, there's a wrong way, and there's the Army way"

"Nothing's quite so permanent as temporary" (this one, I think, is from an Warrant Officer who was his cousin's buddy)

Altius Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 7:00 a.m. PST

One thing I heard him say often was "Proper prior planning prevents poor performance". This usually came after yet another of my or my brother's ill-planned escapades ended in disaster.

richarDISNEY Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 7:35 a.m. PST

"That is smart as paint." -- Still not sure if that is good or bad…

" 'I see' said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw"


"If 'ifs and buts' were Bleeped texts and nuts, we would all have a merry Christmas"

But my favorite is…

"Hey Rich. Get me another beer. And get one for you too…"

galvinm Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 8:22 a.m. PST

"Don't make me stop this car".

Classic. I still use it on my kids, and have no doubt they will use it on theirs.

Mr Elmo11 Jan 2012 8:27 a.m. PST

My father used all the greats:

Talk in one hand and Bleeped text in the other and see which one has more.

If Bleeped text were a brass band, you'd be the conductor.

Fat Wally11 Jan 2012 8:32 a.m. PST

My father has several Dadisms that are unique to him.

Example – "I've hear bigger ducks F A R T in water before" – To express surprise.

flooglestreet Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 9:06 a.m. PST

I'm a dad and I like "Go like fecal matter through a snake." but I don't say fecal matter. I also like "He couldn't sell creosote to a Nevian Bleeped text." But there aren't many Doc Smith fans around these days.

peru522000 Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 9:57 a.m. PST

My Grandfather used this one time and I thought it was hilarious. Now mind you he got along with almost everyone but this one family member used to drive him crazy. " I wouldn't p*ss down his throat if his guts were on fire"

I am just waiting for the day I can actually use this one…..

Omemin Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 10:59 a.m. PST

"Minor details." Good for stopping running in ever-tightening circles.

"End-for-end it." Said during carpentry projects.

"He's an educated idiot." I've met several. Great education, not very bright.

skinkmasterreturns11 Jan 2012 12:18 p.m. PST

My favorite from my stepdad-"Dont step over a dollar to pick up a penny".

Arteis Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 12:32 p.m. PST

"Suppi-di-mulli-di-mostard-pot" Dad's favourite expression of surprise or shock. I didn't know what it meant, and still don't know what it means. He was born in the Netherlands, so I suspect it is my anglicised interpretation of him saying something in Dutch.

Mister X Inactive Member11 Jan 2012 7:09 p.m. PST

From my Grandmother, "Don't tell your Grandmother how to milk the ducks." Obviously said when she was doing something wrong and you were going to tell her how to do it.

Personal logo J Womack 94 Supporting Member of TMP12 Jan 2012 12:11 p.m. PST

Some more good ones:

I'm so hungry, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

"And people in Hell want ice water." Used when asking for something you aren't going to get.

ming31 Inactive Member12 Jan 2012 1:05 p.m. PST

" What the Hell is going on here?" Just as he found you doing something wrong .

Paul Y Inactive Member12 Jan 2012 5:58 p.m. PST

'Thumb in your bum and your mind in neutral.'

Personal logo J Womack 94 Supporting Member of TMP12 Jan 2012 7:47 p.m. PST

All hat and no cattle.

Farstar Inactive Member13 Jan 2012 9:43 a.m. PST

My father is not given to repeating himself much, but there are two.

"You won't win if you don't play."

and his favorite when us kids were out looking for first jobs and discussing options for college:

"Make them say no."

Not surprisingly, the two sayings often came up in the same conversations.

John D Salt Inactive Member13 Jan 2012 12:04 p.m. PST

"Never run to a fight -- it'll still be there if you walk."

"Never start a fight, but always finish one."

"Mark my words, one day that woman is going to do a lot of damage to this country" (said about Margaret Thatcher when she was Minister of Education).

"Have you got the destructions?" (when asking for the instruction sheet to anything).

"Son of a Gunner!" (a term of approval dating from his national service in the Royal Artillery).

All the best,

John (son of a Gunner).

Personal logo brass1 Supporting Member of TMP14 Jan 2012 10:13 a.m. PST

"Cold as a nun's heart".

Very little that my father said was worth remembering -and I've gone out of my way to forget as much as I can- but that one has stuck with me.


Personal logo J Womack 94 Supporting Member of TMP14 Jan 2012 4:11 p.m. PST

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

Zephyr114 Jan 2012 8:23 p.m. PST

Dad always told us kids…


Kevin in Albuquerque Supporting Member of TMP15 Jan 2012 7:45 p.m. PST

Fair? Life's not fair. Get used to it.

… because I have three teenage daughters, 19, 19, and 18.

keleustes Inactive Member16 Jan 2012 7:15 a.m. PST

"the guy who invited this should be sot with his own Bleeped text balls!" I

I only heard this once as he was try to fix the furnace.

Dad really shouldn't have tried to fix anything!! He was good at many thing -- repairs were not it!

Carpet General20 Jan 2012 2:37 a.m. PST

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about."

This phrase was often followed by a clip round the ear.

ChicChocMtdRifles Inactive Member30 May 2012 8:42 a.m. PST

Papa Buster used to say a lot of stuff, several of them others put in. Regarding slowpokes-He's slower than molasses in January. Regarding temper tantrums-He's hotter than a 2 dollar pistol on the 4th of July.

Papa Fred used to say, regarding projects that went well-That's slicker than snot on a doorknob. Regarding any of us dealing in a project with people we didn't know-Come on in said the spider to the fly.

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