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"We apologise for our interrupted performance of the Alan Tinsdale Hollywood All-stars show, as the audience attending rioted when they realised who they were going to see. The BBC has dealt with the offending director and studio personnel with large calibre firearms, and will shortly present – "

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for his birthday. Deems was suspicious when he heard
ticking coming from the large package, and soaked it
with a fire-hose.

Imagine his surprise when he opened the package and
found

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lodged deep under the seat cushions, a shiny new

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…"Universe! That's right Jimmy, as a special surprise, you're going to …."

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gain weight at an increasing rate if you continue to
pay little attention to your diet.

Cremmins WaitOff makes it EASY to lose those excess
pounds ! You'll feel FULL, and have no desire to eat !

Just three weeks on the WaitOff program and you'll
look slim, svelte and

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mottled green with pink spots. The Lesser Spotted Zebra bug. Recently discovered by Professor Arkin, living in deep…..

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"….doo-doo you've stepped in there….."

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and get in there NOW! I wanna see you wrists deep in that mess, or else -

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where.

Turning now to traffic news, there is a large snarl
on the concourse, turning I-1642 into a huge parking
lot and causing major

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celebrations broke out downtown today, following the much anticipated release of …

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a large store of mustard gas, relic of WWI. Fortunately
the gas had lost much of its potency, however the
area around Fort Mudge was evacuated while Hazmat crews
cleaned-up the

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kitchen after a day of their famous smorgasbord lunch and dinner bonanza. A great time was had by all with many games for all ages. Children as well as <click>

… animals were not harmed in the making of this …

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afternoon. Tonight, there will be a similar

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celebratory breakfast. Thats right, breakfast! Lashings of bacon …

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fat will do to grease the launch rails (what a waste,
though), while your basic black powder provides the
energy for the launch.

Hopefully the guidance system (a trained pigeon – worked
for the USN in WWII) will enable the device to miss the
suburb just near the launch site, and the FAA notification
will arrive just too late for them to shut-down the
launch.

So, looks as if we're all clear for

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…. now, with rainy spells later. The Plague of Frogs has blown over and only light falls of brimstone are expected …

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to win by 11 points, although the Vegas line is + 4."

"So, Bryan, do you think Vegas has info not available
to us common people ?"

"Can't say, Ned, but maybe someone with a large pipe
and the will to use it visited the Howler's locker
room and

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"When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously.." <click>

amiss with the horn section tonight, folks, but not to worry, the longer they try, the longer they -

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"..give me all kinds of advice, designed to enlighten me.
When I tell them that I'm doing fine-"
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and dandy, boss!"

"yeah? Then why is there water all over the joint, huh?"

"errr. . . Fish!"

"What?"

" Yeah, fish! We was -"

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standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona

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"Took my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana
and was blowing-"
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…. on Route 66

Well it winds from Chicago to L.A.
More than 2000 miles all the way
Get your kicks on Route 66

Well goes from St. Louie down to Missouri
Oklahoma City looks oh so …

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lonesome tonight, do you miss me

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"Nolene, Nolene, Nolene.
I'm begin' of yer please don't take my"
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..thousands of julienne fries in minutes! But thats not all! If you call within the next 48 hours we'll..<click>

only be a moment, then we'll be off to

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"Choctaw Ridge
And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the"
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shuttle Endeavour during the final mission …

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where we can find some bums who'll do the job for a bottle o' cheap stuff!

"Nice thinkin', Louie -

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freefalling from 24 miles above the Earth in a bid to break

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your heart with a last-second field goal from

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The Dread Horn-ed God known only as …..

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Mitt Romney says Barack Obama has no answers, in aftermath of second presidential debate
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"come back. With a 75 yard drive that only ended when"
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the victim breathed his last, Inspector !'

'Evans, that is not a victim – it's one of Milord's
collection of statuary from the Greek Isles ! Did
you miss your medication this

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magic moment
so different and so new
was like any other
until
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YouTube link

golden brown, then remove from the oven and leave to rest for

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the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.
Rest in peace…
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treaty to which most nations were not signatory.

Leaving international news and focusing on local
happenings, we find that

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All Is Vanity. The drawing employs a double image (or visual pun) in which the scene of a woman admiring
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an enormous erection out in the desert. Who could have….

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it all for the low, low price of thirtynine ninety! Yes, this once in a lifetime deal for a genuine, made in the USA, guaranteed all-metal -

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…IRON MAN.
Is he life or death?
Has he thoughts within his
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small carpet python being watched intently from the foliage by
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the flickering light of a small fire. Curious,
Smithers eased his way to the

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bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again.

Do, don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast but I'm miles above you
Tell me, tell me, tell me, come on tell me the answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no
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way that the victim knew her killer, Inspector !'

'Evans – the note scrawled in the victim's own blood
stating "My husband killed me" means

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