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Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you…(click)

…very much ladies and gentelmen. Thank you very much. This is Bob Hope speaking to you from Pusan Korea where we're giving the troops the business.

(Laughter)

…But I just wanna tell ya…

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a thing or two about my honorable opponent. Not only
has he been convicted of and served time for

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Tori Amos said…I know I'm an acquired taste – I'm anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things…(click)

are going to pot very fast, friends ! Drop everything and
go, RIGHT NOW, and register to

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Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension and…(click)

or we'll put our mark on you, you filthy pervert!
How could you have done such vile things to such an innocent
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…on the "Island of Lost Souls". Presented to you tonight on "Lights Out". So turn out your…

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undies and wash in cold water. Those embarrasing stains
will

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entourage entered at stage left, while the orchestra was
exiting stage right, creating

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…and Bobby McGee.

From the Ken-tucky coalmines to the California sun,
Me an' Bobby shared the secrets of…

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pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty…(click)

… of this storm is unprecedented, Mark. We're recording lightning strikes of such rapidity and magnitude that (click)

…the earth shook! John Carter waited as the great beast slowly lumbered past him, then watched as the jewel clad soldier dismounted and…

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reached for the cigarettes on the nightstand. 'That,' he
said, 'was

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infested with parasites along the pelvic splanchnic nerves arise from the ventral rami of the S2-S4 and enter the sacral plexus. These travel to their side's corresponding inferior hypogastric plexus, located bilaterally on the walls of the rectum and…(click)

… you other brothers can't deny/when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist/ and sticks it in your face/ you get (click)

to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light…(click)

horse went 'round the flank while the heavies went for it
bald-headed at the enemy's

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of Freedom, who lurk in every nook and cranny of our beloved democracy! They must be winnowed out, weeded out, purged, expunged, ELIMINATED!

Only then will we live as we should, happy in the knowledge that…
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it's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you…(click)

…a centerfold. My angel is a centerfold.

Slipped me notes under the desk
While I was thinkin' about her dress
I was shy I turned away
Before she caught my eye

I was shakin' in my shoes
Whenever she flashed those…

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….. Unconfirmed reports of showers of brightly coloured meteorites continue to come in from many centres …….

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of commerce and industry and deserves the type of
political leadership which

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…are lovely to look at, delightful to know and heaven to kiss.
A combination like this
Is quite my most impossible scheme come true
Imagine finding a dream like…

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when you were younger and had all those unrealized
dreams, those unsatisfied yearnings, those unrecognized

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sexy and even a bit smexy…yes she was smart, sexy, and…(click)

…could break your leg soon as look at you. Tobacco juice stained teeth, sparse whiskers also browned with chaw effluent, breath that could fell an elephant across the veldt, this was the true image of…

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a leg, the traditional actor's 'good luck' wish.
Unfortunately, as the male lead took the stage for act
IV, the proscenium

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,,,a test, repeat, THIS IS NOT A TEST.
You are directed to tune to CONELRAD at 640 or 1240 AM on your radio dial.

Enemy aircraft have been detected crossing the pole en route to targets in North America. These aircraft may be armed with atomic weapons which have devastating effects against their targets. Listeners are urged to take shelter as soon as possible and to follow the directions of Civil Defense personnel.

At this time this radio station will go off the <SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…(static)>…
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Hey boy, you look just like a hog…Come on piggy, give me a ride…Looks like we got us a sow here, instead of a boar….I bet you can squeal like a…(click)

worn set of brakes ? This week-end, right now today,
tomorrow and Sunday, you can get those accidents waiting
to happen re-lined for only

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five dollars, big boy. Sure, I can clean those pipes, and give you a free lube job while I'm at it. Now let's get you out of those …
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who say that our fair nation is at the mercy of certain
pee-pul who wish her

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Bon Voyage! As the elegant ocean liner, nursemaided by a covey of harbor tugs, edges gracefully away from dockside, the air fills with the lucky passengers' handfuls of confetti, airbursts of paper streamers, and a chorus of…
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…hell no, we won't go! Hell, no we won't go!

These are the cries of the anti-war protestors here at Union Square Park. The police are showing great restraint and will not be pushed into…

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occupations for which they are totally unsuited ?
We here at Jobs Unlimited are dedicated to the premise
that

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we all appreciate your sacrifice Gilligan, but we need something that won't interfere with the camera lens…some type of glue…Oh! Well, let's start drilling for some immediately!…Oh Mr. Howell, you don't drill for glue! Oh no? You should see some of the oil wells I got stuck with! Eeyahahaha…(click)

…ha ha ha ha ha. The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. The Shadow…

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that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an errant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep…(click)

then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus,
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only…

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. . . twenty four hours from Tulsa!
Only – One day away from your arms!
I saw a welcoming light – I stopped to ask for a -

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dark throne…In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
He paused, and then said in a deep voice,
"This is the Master-Ring, the One Ring to rule them all.
This is the One Ring lost many years ago,
to the great weakening of its maker's power.
Now, he greatly desires to have…(click)

the last laugh, is it not, Professor ? And you thought
you had planned the perfect

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…way to listen to "suspense". So enjoy a glass of Roma wine the next time you…

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plan a garden party, but it would not be perfect without appropriate refreshments and dining environment for your guests.

We at "Troughe & Brewe" specialize in catering to a higher standard--we fill our porcelain dining troughs with gourmet cuisine crafted by the premier chefs of the continent. And only vintage champagne is allowed to pour forth into the crystal buckets provided for the quenching of your guests' palates.

And afterward, your guests may refresh themselves by promenading through the stimulating perfume-scented water issuing forth from decorative high-pressure sterling spray nozzles.

For your next social event, whether indoor or outdoor, consider "Troughe & Brewe", a five-star dining experience…

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d guides will lead the expedition. Transportation to the
glacier will be provided by

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…Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig. Mel Blanc worked for Warner Brothers animation departmen, but also had his own radio show titled…

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Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror…Bring me…the bore worms! No! Not the bore worms! Look! Water is leaking from her eyes. It's what they call tears, it's a sign of…(click)

enormous dimensions, clearly violating the local sign
ordinance, which stipulates

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