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CLDISME | 21 Jul 2011 8:34 a.m. PST |
be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty when you call me You can call me Al Call me Al A man walks down the street It's a street in a strange world Maybe it's the Third World Maybe it's his first time around He doesn't speak the language He holds no currency He is a foreign man He is surrounded by the sound The sound Cattle in the marketplace
<click> |
28mmMan | 21 Jul 2011 8:57 a.m. PST |
located under the Brooklyn Bridge. The BPRD had been searching for it for a long time but never found it. Luckily, directions were found when Johann Kraus possessed a tooth fairy. Coercing a cat eating troll into showing them the way, they made it to the gateway. But the troll refused, even under threat of use of canary. But Krauss uses his ectoplasm to unlock the door. The Troll Market is revealed to be a veritable bacchanalia of mythological, fantasy, and supernatural creatures from all over the world and from multiple cultures. As it's name implies, it is a marketplace of significant magnitude, containing hundreds of booths and shopping centers for the strange and fantastic beings of the world. Many different items and goods can be purchased there, be they food, clothing, items, and more. It is built both out of supernatural structures and cannibalized pieces of the New York sewer system; many pipes can be seen lining it along it's outer walls. Like most marketplaces it is a place of extreme activity, with pedestrian choked road ways and narrow streets. The variety of creatures and beings that shop and loiter in the Troll Market are too numerous to count, but among the ranks there can be seen trolls, goblins, witches, elves, and even Lovecraftian Old Ones. Fairies can be seen fluttering above the heads of the crowd. Little fuss is made over the arrival of human BPRD agents in the Troll Market by the various peoples, indicating that human presence isn't something all that unusual there. It is unknown if the Troll Market is the only place of it's kind in the world but it is indicated
(click) |
Etranger | 21 Jul 2011 7:29 p.m. PST |
In the Book of Job. There it is written that
. <click> |
28mmMan | 22 Jul 2011 3:01 p.m. PST |
face, who makes a brief appearance in the pilot episode "Holiday Knights" where he separates himself into various little boys to steal items during a Christmas Eve rush. Revealing himself, he attacks Detectives Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya, but is defeated by Batgirl (who was shopping there as Barbara Gordon at the time). Although this is the first episode of The New Batman Adventures, it was set after the event of "Growing Pains." Clayface returns in the episode "Growing Pains". Barely alive after dissolving after his last battle with Batman on "Mudslide", Clayface (or his remains) drift near a pipe leaking strange chemicals into the ocean which combine with Clayface's remains to restore his strength. Still weakened, Clayface sends a portion of himself which takes the form of a little girl (voiced by Francesca Marie Smith) to see if the city is still safe for him to resurface. The girl unexpectedly develops an individual personality which also left her amnesiac and left him. During one of his patrols, Robin encounters the girl and developing affections for her names her "Annie." During this period, Clayface poses as the girl's abusive father, committing various robberies in order to make a living in the sewers of Gotham along finding her. Eventually, Clayface recovers, cornering Robin and Annie who allows herself to be reabsorbed (effectively killing her) to save Robin. Enraged by Annie's "death," Robin almost kills Clayface with gallons of solvent, but Batman intervenes and stops him and the villain is arrested and imprisoned in Arkham Asylum. When Commissioner Gordon lists the charges Clayface is accused of, Robin quietly adds murder as one of them
(click) |
28mmMan | 23 Jul 2011 1:37 p.m. PST |
the first of the "nuclear monster" movies, and the first "big bug" film, Them! was nominated for an Oscar for Special Effects and won a Golden Reel Award for Best Sound Editing. The film starts off as a simple suspense story, with police investigating mysterious disappearances and unexplainable deaths. The giant ants are not even seen until almost a third of the way into the film
(click) |
28mmMan | 23 Jul 2011 6:42 p.m. PST |
Act 1st Scene A Sea-port in Cyprus. An open place near the quay. [Enter MONTANO and two Gentlemen] What from the cape can you discern at sea? Nothing at all: it is a high wrought flood; I cannot, 'twixt the heaven and the main, descry a sail. Methinks the wind hath spoke aloud at land; A fuller blast ne'er shook our battlements: If it hath ruffian'd so upon the sea, What ribs of oak, when mountains melt on them, Can hold the mortise? What shall we hear of this? A segregation of the Turkish fleet: For do but stand upon the foaming shore, The chidden billow seems to pelt the clouds; The wind-shaked surge, with high and monstrous mane, seems to cast water on the burning bear, And quench the guards of the ever-fixed pole: I never did like molestation view On the enchafed flood. If that the Turkish fleet Be not enshelter'd and embay'd, they are drown'd: It is impossible they bear it out. Enter a third Gentleman
(click) |
Etranger | 23 Jul 2011 6:44 p.m. PST |
of the cloth did not generally have a second career as a
<click> |
CLDISME | 23 Jul 2011 7:18 p.m. PST |
meter maid nothing can come between us When it gets dark I tow your heart away Standing by a parking meter when I caught a glimpse of Rita Filling in a ticket in her little white book In a cap she looked much older And the bag across her shoulder Made her look
<click> |
28mmMan | 23 Jul 2011 7:35 p.m. PST |
and he said with a crooked smile
pull my finger
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 24 Jul 2011 4:26 a.m. PST |
your most trusted operative as the murderer, is that correct ?' 'Well, no, that was not the intent. What we tried to do was to <click> |
28mmMan | 24 Jul 2011 9:21 a.m. PST |
listen carefully. We've got to keep you out of sight for two weeks until after the Tudbury trial. Now we'll pretend to keep you here in Control headquarters. Actually we'll take you on a helicopter to hideout B, which is the penthouse suite in the Warfield hotel. Then we'll take you down an express elevator to hideout C which is the basement suite in the Warfield hotel. Then we'll take you out the back way up the fire escape to hideout D which is a shack on top of the Warfield hotel. Have you got that? Not all of it, 99. What part didn't you get? The part after 'listen carefully'. Don't worry, Max, I'll take you there myself. Believe me, KAOS will never, never know where you are. I wouldn't be too sure of that, 99. Well how could they possibly know? I forgot to hang up the telephone. They're still on the other end
(click) |
capncarp | 24 Jul 2011 12:02 p.m. PST |
of the world as we know it, It's the end of the world as we know it, It's the end of the world as we know it, And I feel
. click |
Etranger | 24 Jul 2011 5:34 p.m. PST |
fit as a fiddle, despite all these tubes sticking out of my
. <click> |
28mmMan | 24 Jul 2011 7:07 p.m. PST |
has been killed Doc Hallen's been killed! Doc Hallen? What happened? It's over at his place! You've gotta come now! Now wait a minute, Steve. Tell us what happened. I'm trying to tell you – now this thing has killed the Doc. Well what was it? Out with it, kid! Well it's kind of a – kind of a mass. It keeps getting bigger and bigger. Come on, Steve, make sense. I know, I know! Look, Dave, you gotta see this thing to believe what I'm telling you. Maybe this thing you saw was a – monster? Yeah, maybe it was. I don't know. Hold on, Jim. Now what is this, Steve? A little while ago it was driving backwards, now it's monsters. He's not making it up, Dave, honest! Dave, I'm not kidding you. I swear, come out to the Doc's. You can see it for yourself. You're crazy if you go. Can't you see it's a gag? He says Doc Hallen's dead, Jim. We've got to check it out
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 25 Jul 2011 7:32 a.m. PST |
of doors, otherwise the stench will kill us all! Imagine ! Beans and Beer, for SIX meals a day ! It's enough to gag <click> |
CLDISME | 25 Jul 2011 1:10 p.m. PST |
order has been imposed by the presiding judge on both parties. "The impromptu courthouse press conferences are over as of now," declared Judge
<click> |
28mmMan | 25 Jul 2011 3:26 p.m. PST |
Dredd fires continuously at a "Judge" helmet and armor
he Judge's standard-issue helmet and body armor. Yours, when you graduate. Lawgiver-2 standard-issue sidearm, with 20 interchangeable rounds and voice-activated round system. [Judge Dredd to the Lawgiver] Signal flare. [fires a signal flare into the wall] Yours, IF you graduate. [walks over to a futuristic motorcycle] Lawmaster, with rapid-firing cannons and a range of 500 kilometers. [turns it on; it malfunctions] Yours
if you can ever get it to work. [cadets laugh] All the things you see are toys; at the end of the day, when you're alone in the dark, the only thing that matters is this
[holds up the Book of the Law]
the Law. [slams the Book onto the table] You WILL be alone. Upon retirement, you will take the Long Walk
which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the Cursed Earth. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law. Class dismissed
(click) |
Etranger | 26 Jul 2011 2:43 a.m. PST |
for 389. England's innings begins after the tea break. <click> |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 26 Jul 2011 4:15 a.m. PST |
-er, breaker one-nine. This is the Old Codger, south-bound on the 95, anyone copy <click> |
CLDISME | 26 Jul 2011 6:56 a.m. PST |
-ing needs. We print and copy anything and everything from wedding invitations to banners. All in full color. Let our design specialists help you produced the best
<click> |
28mmMan | 26 Jul 2011 7:56 a.m. PST |
blue-plate special or blue plate special is a term used in the United States by restaurants, particularly (but not only) diners and cafes. It refers to a specially low-priced meal, usually changing daily. It typically consists of a "meat and three" (three vegetables), presented on a single plate, often a divided plate (rather than more elegantly on separate dishes). The term was very common from the 1920s through the 1950s. As of 2007 there are still a few restaurants and diners that offer blue-plate specials under that name, sometimes on blue plates, but it is a vanishing tradition. The phrase itself, however, is still a common American colloquial expression. A web collection of 1930s prose gives this definition: a Blue Plate Special is a low-priced daily diner special
a main course with all the fixins, a daily combo, a square for two bits
(click) |
Rogue Zoat | 26 Jul 2011 11:07 a.m. PST |
Of matchstick men of you Pictures of >click< |
14Bore | 26 Jul 2011 4:22 p.m. PST |
you, pictures of me Hung up on your wall for the world to see Pictures of you, pictures of me Remind us all of what we used to be. There is a drug that cures it (click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 26 Jul 2011 4:34 p.m. PST |
makes no sense, Sheriff, that she'd have murdered her husband for his money – he had NONE ! Well, we're gonna pick 'er up and book 'er in any case. Woman looks like that, runs around that way, well
<click> |
28mmMan | 26 Jul 2011 5:43 p.m. PST |
oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive
(click) |
Etranger | 26 Jul 2011 9:23 p.m. PST |
-rs is a 1952 novel by John Masters on the Thuggee movement in India during
. <click> |
28mmMan | 26 Jul 2011 9:29 p.m. PST |
is the fruit of several tree species belonging to the genus Durio and the Malvaceae family[1][3] (although some taxonomists place Durio in a distinct family, Durionaceae[1]). Widely known and revered in southeast Asia as the "king of fruits", the durian is distinctive for its large size, unique odor, and formidable thorn-covered husk. The fruit can grow as large as 30 centimeters (12 in) long and 15 centimeters (6 in) in diameter, and it typically weighs one to three kilograms (2 to 7 lb). Its shape ranges from oblong to round, the color of its husk green to brown, and its flesh pale yellow to red, depending on the species. The edible flesh emits a distinctive odor, strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as fragrant; others find the aroma overpowering and offensive. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as almonds, rotten onions, turpentine and gym socks. The odor has led to the fruit's banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in southeast Asia. The durian, native to Brunei, Indonesia and Malaysia, has been known to the Western world for about 600 years. The 19th-century British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace famously described its flesh as "a rich custard highly flavored with almonds". The flesh can be consumed at various stages of ripeness, and it is used to flavor a wide variety of savory and sweet edibles in Southeast Asian cuisines. The seeds can also be eaten when cooked
(click) |
Rogue Zoat | 27 Jul 2011 12:30 p.m. PST |
Like a dog, as its name suggests, the cynodont ("dog tooth") had differentiated teeth including canines in many species. However unlike the dog, which is a true mammal, the cynodont still had a side-to-side gait when it moved, akin to >click< |
28mmMan | 27 Jul 2011 2:19 p.m. PST |
each other only by marriage, so the minister was ok with marrying them even though they had the same last name and went to high school together as brother and sister
you know what they say about a family tree without any branches? That is where ugly sticks come from
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 28 Jul 2011 3:38 a.m. PST |
Bahd to Wortz, a distance of a few kilometers, in only 12 seconds ! And that's not the best <click> |
28mmMan | 28 Jul 2011 7:11 a.m. PST |
convinced of her guilt? This crazed woman randomly snatched an infant from a stroller, slammed the baby into a pole and later said she was trying to break the baby's arm off "so she could eat it," Los Angeles cops said Wednesday. Prosecutors have charged Natasha Hubbard, 36, with aggravated assault and released her photo believing she may have other victims from her wild rampage in downtown Los Angeles last Thursday. The terrifying incident with the 4-month-old boy took place in a crowded shopping district packed with families, police said. Detectives said mom Adriana Miranda, 29, was pushing her infant son Alexander in his stroller when Hubbard unbelted the child and grabbed him by the leg. Witnesses said Hubbard then swung the baby over her head and slammed him into a metal rail of a nearby truck as the mom and the baby's aunt watched in horror, police said. The mother and aunt fought off the woman, with the suspect clawing at Miranda as she clutched the baby boy in her arms, police said. Arriving officers were able to locate Hubbard with the help of witnesses who pointed her out. She's now in jail with bail set at $55,000. Hubbard told detectives that she tried to break off the baby's arm so she could eat it
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 28 Jul 2011 4:21 p.m. PST |
really wuzn't me, Ossifer
it wuz m' eveeel twin, Ro
Rah
Blo
ah, heck, I dun it, y'know ? So how much time I gotta do, anyway <click> |
Etranger | 28 Jul 2011 6:35 p.m. PST |
(music) This worlds gone crazy And it's hard to believe That tomorrow will be better than today Believe it anyway
. <click> |
28mmMan | 28 Jul 2011 6:45 p.m. PST |
But Loose is a 1978 American adventure comedy film, released by Warner Brothers, produced by Robert Daley and directed by James Fargo. It stars Clint Eastwood in an uncharacteristic and offbeat comedy role, as Philo Beddoe, a trucker and brawler roaming the American West in search of a lost love while accompanied by his friend/manager Orville and his pet orangutan, Clyde. In the process Philo manages to cross a motley assortment of characters, including a pair of police officers and an entire motorcycle gang (the "Black Widows"), who end up pursuing him for revenge. Eastwood's appearance in the film, after his string of spaghetti western and Dirty Harry roles, somewhat startled the film industry and he was reportedly advised against making it. Panned by critics, the film went on to become an enormous success and became, along with its 1980 sequel Any Which Way You Can, two of the highest grossing Eastwood films
(click) |
28mmMan | 29 Jul 2011 9:39 a.m. PST |
of the Proton Pack, designed by Dr. Egon Spengler, is a man-portable particle accelerator system that is used to create a charged particle beam – composed of protons – that is fired by the proton gun (also referred to as the "neutrona wand"). Described in the first movie as a "positron collider", it presumably functions by colliding high-energy positrons to generate its proton beam. The beam allows a ghostbuster to contain and hold "negatively charged ectoplasmic entities". This containment ability allows the wielder to position a ghost above a trap for capture. While the Ghostbusters' dialogue indicates that the accelerator system operates similarly to a cyclotron (and indeed Dr. Peter Venkman refers to the Proton Packs in one scene as "unlicensed nuclear accelerators"), modern particle accelerators produce well collimated particle beams. This is far different from the beam from a Proton Pack, which tends to undulate wildly (though it still stays within the general area at which the user is aiming). The proton stream is quite destructive to physical objects, and can cause extensive property damage. In the 2009 Ghostbusters game, Ray explains how the Proton Pack works early in the game; the energy emitted by the Proton Stream helps to dissipate psychokinetic (PK) energy which ghosts use to manifest themselves. Draining them of their PK energy weakens them, allowing them to be captured in their portable ghost traps. According to a line spoken by Egon in Ghostbusters II, each pack's energy cell has a half-life of 5,000 years. Knobs on the main stock of the Proton Pack can perform various functions to customize the proton stream, including adjustments for stream intensity, length, and degrees of polarization. In the cartoon series, The Real Ghostbusters, the maximum power setting for the Proton Packs is "500,000 MHz," which possibly refers to the rate of positron collisions occurring within the pack's accelerator system. In the cartoon the packs also have a self-destruct mechanism
(click) |
Rogue Zoat | 29 Jul 2011 12:36 p.m. PST |
For those about to rock, we salute you For those about to rock, we salute you For those about to >click< |
28mmMan | 29 Jul 2011 4:34 p.m. PST |
be in trouble. But if I'm gonna be your attorney, there are a few things that I have to know that, uh, still don't make any sense to me. Like, um, you really believe in magic? You mean Chinese black magic? Yes. Oh, absolutely. Are you still serious about this? And, uh, monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose? Oh, sure. And sorcery. And I suppose that, uh, you expect me to believe in sorcery as well? Of course! Why? Because it's real. How can I know that, Mr. Shen? How? Yes, how? Help me out here. Please, how? [Shen raises his hands, and a small bolt of lightning jumps between his palms. The lawyer stares, open-mouthed] See? That was nothing. But that's how it always begins. Very small
(click) |
Etranger | 29 Jul 2011 9:44 p.m. PST |
but perfectly formed, or so he said. Anyway, it's not what you've got, it's how you
. <click> |
28mmMan | 30 Jul 2011 2:27 a.m. PST |
find a Golden Ticket, Daddy! I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the place to start hunting for you. All right, where is it? Why haven't they found it? Veruca, sweetheart, I'm not a magician! Give me time! I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there? For five days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job. They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They've been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn till dusk! Make them work nights! They're not even trying! They don't want to find it! They're jealous of me! Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder; 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling; 760,000 they've done so far. You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day! You're going to be very unpopular around here, Henry, if you don't deliver soon. It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy. I won't talk to you ever again! You're a mean father, you'll never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school till I have it! Ah Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the whole world, and the whole rotting world's hunting for them! What can I do
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 30 Jul 2011 4:09 a.m. PST |
your best, since your achievement on this test determines where you'll be slotted <click> |
28mmMan | 30 Jul 2011 11:28 a.m. PST |
chamber containing numerous eggs, one of which releases a creature that attaches itself to his face. Dallas and Lambert carry the unconscious Kane back to the Nostromo, where Ash allows them inside against Ripley's orders to follow the ship's quarantine protocol. They unsuccessfully attempt to remove the creature from Kane's face, discovering that its blood is an extremely corrosive acid. Eventually the creature detaches on its own and is found dead. With the ship repaired, the crew resume their trip back to Earth. Kane awakens seemingly unharmed, but during a meal before re-entering stasis he begins to choke and convulse until an alien creature bursts from his chest, killing him and escaping into the ship. Lacking conventional weapons, the crew attempt to locate and capture the creature by fashioning motion trackers, electric prods, and flamethrowers. Brett follows the crew's cat into a large room where the now-fully-grown Alien attacks him and disappears with his body into the ship's air shafts. Dallas enters the shafts intending to force the Alien into an airlock where it can be expelled into space, but it ambushes him. Lambert implores the remaining crew members to escape in the ship's shuttle, but Ripley, now in command, explains that the shuttle will not support four people. Accessing the ship's computer, Ripley discovers that Ash has been ordered to return the Alien to the Nostromo's corporate employers even at the expense of the crew. Ash attacks her, but Parker intervenes and decapitates him with a blow from a fire extinguisher, revealing Ash to be an android. Before Parker incinerates him, Ash predicts that the other crew members will not survive. The remaining three crew members plan to arm the Nostromo's self-destruct mechanism and escape in the shuttle, but Parker and Lambert are killed by the Alien while gathering the necessary supplies. Ripley initiates the self-destruct sequence and heads for the shuttle with the cat, but finds the Alien blocking her way. She unsuccessfully attempts to abort the self-destruct, then returns to find the Alien gone and narrowly escapes in the shuttle as the Nostromo explodes. As she prepares to enter stasis, Ripley discovers that the Alien
(click) |
14Bore | 30 Jul 2011 12:51 p.m. PST |
didn't have a green card, and so couldn't be hired by her because of the amount of publicity that it would generate if the press found out about it around election time. She would have to find a resident (click) |
28mmMan | 30 Jul 2011 1:26 p.m. PST |
Evil, known as Biohazard (バイオハザード Baiohazādo?) in Japan, is a media franchise owned by the video game company Capcom. It was created by Shinji Mikami as a survival horror game series that was initiated with the eponymous PlayStation title Resident Evil in 1996. Since then, the game series has strayed from its roots to include action games, and has sold 45 million units as of March 2011. The Resident Evil media franchise has been expanded to comic books, novels and novelizations, sound dramas, live-action and computer-generated feature films, and a variety of collectibles, such as action figures and strategy guides. Four live action films have been released under the title of Resident Evil. These films do not follow the games' premise but do include game characters
(click) |
Etranger | 30 Jul 2011 11:21 p.m. PST |
that are used in the modern Japanese writing system along with hiragana, katakana, Indo Arabic numerals, and the occasional use of the Latin alphabet (known as "r¨maji"). The Japanese term kanji literally means
. <click> |
28mmMan | 30 Jul 2011 11:31 p.m. PST |
"strange beast," but often translated in English as "monster". Specifically, it is used to refer to a genre of tokusatsu entertainment. Related terms include kaijū eiga (monster movie), a film featuring kaiju, kaijin (referring to roughly humanoid monsters) and daikaiju (giant monster), specifically meaning the larger variety of monsters. The most famous kaiju is Godzilla. Other well-known kaiju include Mothra, Anguirus, Rodan, Gamera and King Ghidorah. The term ultra-kaiju is short-hand for monsters in the Ultra Series. Kaiju are typically modeled after conventional animals, insects or mythological creatures; however, there are more exotic examples. Choujin Sentai Jetman features monsters based on traffic lights, faucets and tomatoes; Kamen Rider Super-1 includes a whole army of monsters based on household objects such as umbrellas and utility ladders. While the term kaiju is used in the West to describe monsters from tokusatsu and Japanese folklore, monsters like vampires, werewolves, Frankenstein's Monster, mummies and zombies would fall into this category. In fact Frankenstein's Monster was once a daikaiju in the film Frankenstein vs. Baragon, which was created by Toho. Kaiju are sometimes depicted as cannon fodder serving a greater evil. Some kaiju are elite warriors which serve as the right-hand man to the greater villain and are destroyed by the heroic forces. Others have a neutral alignment, only seeking to destroy buildings and other structures. During the early eras of tokusatsu, "heroic" monsters were rarely seen in Daikaiju Eiga films, and it was not until later when television tokusatsu productions began using kaiju which aided the hero, saved civilians, or demonstrated some kind of complex personality. These kaiju adopted many classic monster traits, appearing as the "Misunderstood Creature". Some kaiju hung out with the heroes and provided comedy relief
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 31 Jul 2011 7:23 a.m. PST |
or haut relief. Of the two, museums which allow tactile interaction <click> |
Etranger | 31 Jul 2011 7:31 p.m. PST |
. with strangers is strictly forbidden. No good will come of fraternisation with the
<click> |
28mmMan | 31 Jul 2011 9:02 p.m. PST |
Babel fish
a small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy not from its carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centers of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish. "Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind boggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. "The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.' "'But,' says Man, 'The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.' "'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic. "'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. "Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book Well That About Wraps It Up For God. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation
(click) |
Ed Mohrmann ![Supporting Member of TMP Supporting Member of TMP](boards/icons/sp.gif) | 01 Aug 2011 2:35 a.m. PST |
theory is only taught in the strictest <click> |
Covert Walrus | 01 Aug 2011 3:00 a.m. PST |
discipline imaginable! So saying the leather-clad blonde eased herself from the chair and slowly strode towards the rack where Guy Jawline lay manacled. Can you withstand such a regime, my dear Mister Jawline? Purrde the baroness - <click!> |
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