"(...click)" Topic

…dealership in your area will provide the necessary repairs to your car under this recall notice. Once again, the model years…

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prove that Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe.

The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.

The very worst poetry in the universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Thankfully it was destroyed when the earth was…(click)

a mere stripling youth, Henry at age 17 managed to win

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-ter is predicted to be mild this year. So says the end-all-to-be-all of fortune tellers… The Farmer's Almanac. you can pick up your copy today at…

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-tack with everything ! Hold nothing back ! Smite them
hip and – uh, 'scuse me, is this mike

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my father, he was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for bug collecting.

My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.

At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn undercarriage…it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it..(click)

only under adult supervision. Use without appropriate training is not … …

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fully understood – but then, is anything ever really
fully

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ripened? I find that if you place the fruit in a brown paper bag with an apple that you will allow the green fruit to ripen quite quickly. The only real concern is if you…(click)

Spitz ! Here ! Live ! He'll only be here for

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the bier….

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and pretzels are best during Munich Oktoberfest, which traditionally, takes place during the sixteen days up to and including the first Sunday in October.

In 1994, the schedule was modified in response to German reunification so that if the first Sunday in October falls on the 1st or 2nd, then the festival will go on until October 3 (German Unity Day). Thus, the festival is now 17 days when the first Sunday is October 2 and 18 days when it is October 1.

In 2010, the festival lasts until the first Monday in October, to mark the 200-year anniversary of the event. The festival is held in an area named the Theresienwiese (field, or meadow, of Therese), often called Wiesn for short, located near Munich's centre.

Visitors eat large amounts of traditional fare such as Hendl (chicken), Schweinebraten (roast pork), Schweinshaxe (grilled ham hock), Steckerlfisch (grilled fish on a stick), Würstl (sausages) along with Brezn (Pretzel), Knödel (potato or bread dumplings), Kasspatzn (cheese noodles), Reiberdatschi (potato pancakes), Sauerkraut or Blaukraut (red cabbage) along with such Bavarian delicacies as Obatzda (a spiced cheese-butter spread) and Weisswurst…(click)

…police commissioner in Chicago history? Although Jody Weis did not perform as high as expected due to his FBI pedigree, there have been worse police commissioners in Chicago. The most corrupt commissioner…

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and Exalted Plenipotentiary, it is within your power to
grant or to withhold

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Maritial rights. The choice is ….

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Im not insane, you hear me! IM NOT INSANE!

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…but incompetent to stand trial. The judge ordered further testing of the defendant and authorized any necessary medical treatments. The victim's spokesperson had no comment other than he was not surprised by the judge's ruling.

At the other end of the courthouse, history was made when…

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…Lindsay Lohan arrived for the proceedings on time, with her court-appointed lawyer in tow.

Added to her growing list of transgressions (including various alcohol and drug-related charges, and one shop-lifting incident) is a recent accusation that…

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bodies glistened in the ….

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sun, Lotion pored over body parts to block its rays. Ah that warm feeling of summer, The sand, surf,and the swimsuits. Gotta love(click)

again.
Don't tell me what it's all about,
'Cause i've been there, and I'm glad I'm out.
Out of those chains, those chains that…(click)

are "captive, bound and double-ironed" with chains which are described as "long, and wound about him like a tail; it was made…of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel."

He often, in moments of great despair or impatience at Scrooge's skepticism, flings these upon the ground before him and almost induces his former partner "into a swoon". He explains that it is the chain he subconsciously built himself in life, as a result of his extortionate behavior. The ghost is also described as being provided with "an infernal atmosphere of its own…its hair and skirts, and tassels, were still agitated as by the hot vapor from an oven".

He despairs at his inability to ever find happiness in the mortal world or the next. As he spent his life on this earth obsessing over money and mistreating the poor and wretched to fill his pocket, Marley is damned to walk the earth for all eternity, never to find rest or peace…(click)

was Tolstoy's masterwork, culminating in the ….

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Get that fire out! Get it out before it reches the(click!)

…Supreme Court. However, the Chief Justice Roberts refused without comment to hear the case. Both parties are clearly disappointed since neither side…

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of beef.'

'Huh ?!? The whole dang thang ?!?'

'Yep. You stole it, you butchered it, and now you're
gonna eat it, or Judge Rogers'll hang you higher 'n
Pike's Peak.'

'But I can't

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until 'tis time! 'tis time!
Round about the caldron go;

In the poison'd entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg'd I the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew fish;
Gall of goat, and slips of yewish
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingredients of our caldron.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good…(click)

night, Gracie'

'Good night

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Georgie Porgie kissed the girls and made them cry, he would have been charged with several crimes. The least of which would have been…

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Grand Theft Auto, which has attracted a lot of adverse….

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or obverse, I always get them confused, Professor ?'

'I shouldn't fret about it too much, Lacie – after all,
your general vocabulary and elocutionary skills are
quite good – for a Labrador

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bound ship, she was moving at a good clip, dodging the odd ice floe and gliding past the fishermen on the Banks….
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…where I was working as a wondering minstral, I met this absolutely beautiful… <click>

shot ! Three hundred yards, and right in the cup !
And a 3-iron, at that ! And wrong-handed, from a
bad lie ! Jacobs was meant to win this tournament

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gamers tend to be a breed apart….

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-ment fire that destroyed his collection of Renaissance
erotic art.

Turning now to other news

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papers are a regularly scheduled publication containing news of current events, informative articles, diverse features and advertising. It usually is printed on relatively inexpensive, low-grade paper such as newsprint. By 2007, there were 6580 daily newspapers in the world selling 395 million copies a day. The worldwide recession of 2008, combined with the rapid growth of web-based alternatives, caused a serious decline in advertising and circulation, as many papers closed or sharply retrenched operations.

General-interest newspapers typically publish stories on local and national political events and personalities, crime, business, entertainment, society and sports. Most traditional papers also feature an editorial page containing editorials written by an editor and columns that express the personal opinions of writers. The newspaper is typically funded by paid subscriptions and advertising.

A wide variety of material has been published in newspapers, including editorial opinions, criticism, persuasion and op-eds; obituaries; entertainment features such as crosswords, sudoku and horoscopes; weather news and forecasts; advice, food and other columns; reviews of movies, plays and restaurants; classified ads; display ads, television listings, inserts from local merchants, editorial cartoons and comic strips…(click)

shows are a form of 'adult entertainment' that reach a degree of respectability in French establishments such as the ….

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…Hungry Hank's Ice Cream Stand just off of Highway 120. Hank offers both hand dipped and soft serve ice creams in either a bowl or one of his world famous waffle cones. The flavor of the week is…

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Bouillabaisse. This famous French …..

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ticklers, destroyed in a shipwreck on Diamond Shoals

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yer socks, them ankle-bitin' ants're back !'

'Socks ain' gon' pro-teck y' ankles, 'r knees,
even. Y'need some boots, 'n not them gumboots
what Granny wore in th' yard, neither.'

'I got some spray

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-ing to all fields, aren't you caller?

Well, to your first point – no, the increased seagull population is not a direct result of decreased ticket sales to Chicago Cubs baseball games, although you make an interesting connection.

Your second and fifth point on taxation can be summarized as…

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politically biased, Senator ? Certainly ! If your head
wasn't poked up a hog's rectum

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although the view from there is indeed magnificent, encompassing many fine ….

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toothed combs that I use to detail the animals that come through my taxidermy shop…(click)

-a-holic, but he married her anyway."

"If that's the case, then he deserves whatever

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-y woman,
see how high she flies.
Woo hoo witchy woman
she got the moon in her eye

She held me spellbound in the night
Dancing shadows and firelight
Crazy laughter in another room
And she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon

Woo hoo witchy woman
see how high she flies
Woo hoo witchy woman
she got the moon in her eye

Well, I know you want…

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to know who sent you?

You have to kill me.

Who sent you?

Kiss my ass, Powers!

Whose sent you?

Dr. Evil.

[Surprised] That was easy.
That was easy.
Why did you tell us?

I can't stand to be asked the same question three times. It just irritates me.

Where's Dr. Evil hiding?

Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.

Where's Dr. Evil hiding?

You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell you.

Where's Dr. Evil hiding?

Damn, three times. He's hiding in his secret volcano lair.

Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?

[spits] I spit at that question.

Do I really have to ask you two more times?

Go to hell, Powers.

Fine. Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?

I will take it to the grave with me!

Ah ha! You have to answer. He asked you three times.

No no no! The second question was 'Do I really have to ask you two more times?'. So that would be the first question in a new line of questioning, and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning.

He's right…(click)

of the line was the place of honour during…