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and your torments call us like dogs in the night…and we do feed, and feed well…to stuff ourselves on other people's torments…and butter our plain bread with delicious pain…funerals, marriages, lost loves, lonely beds that is our diet…we suck that misery and find it sweet…we can smell the young ulcerating to be men a thousand miles off…and hear a middle-aged fool like yourself groaning with midnight despairs from halfway round the world…(click)

…of sports! Today we bring you Synchronized Swimming, Chinese Handball and from…

the angle of his head, I'd speculate that his neck is
broken.

Inspector, look here ! See the marks upon

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the frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head…(click)

you can create that perfect snack for unexpected guests !

Or, if really pressed for time, open a box of

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…given to the children. Ovaltine is a healthy alternative to other chocolate drinks. Ovaltine is also fortified with…(click)

freeze dried earthworms which are baked into a classic carrot cake with cinnamon, brown sugar, and shredded carrots…you can modify the recipe by replacing the carrot element for an equal amount of roasted crickets, ant larva, or even…(click)

denatured cattle dung. This is an excellent fertilizer, top notch engine coolant, AND an effective antibiotic for use with…

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…the square leg umpire. Of course if that had been Dickie Bird then he would be hopping up and down at this point. So, Collingwood, facing on 10, Trott on 78. Last man out Pieterson, 101 from 240 balls, bowled Haddin, fall of wicket at 209. It really was a beautiful delivery, right in the blockhole and passing between Pieterson's…
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Galactica…You're finished, Adama!

Cylon Pilot: [looking out to port] Sir, if I may…

Baltar: I don't want to miss a moment of the last Battlestar's destruction.

Cylon Pilot: I really think you should take look at the other Battlestar.

Baltar: What are you babbling about, a…[Baltar is dumbstruck at the sight of the Battlestar Pegasus]

Baltar: It's impossible!

Cylon Pilot: No. It is a Battlestar.

Baltar: *Turn* you fool! Turn! He's coming right for us…(click)

…earth on this one, for God's sake! We've already had to eliminate Kennedy, and Oswald botched the job. Now we've had to eliminate Oswald! If we eliminate Ruby too, don't you think that SOMEBODY might start to draw a connection?

We're the Illuminati for chisesakes! At what point does the lightbulb finally…

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burn out, the 2nd leading cause of disability in emergency medical personnel. Long hours, dangerous situations, exposure to disease, and long-term stress combine to sap the vitality from even the best…

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…vampire hunters. This combined with low pay, and almost non-existent vacation packages makes for a high turnover rate at the low and mid-management echelons, leading…

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…edge, past Haddin's outstretched hand. I should really correct something I said earlier. My producer informs me that I said bowled Haddin, when of course I meant bowled Hilfenhaus, caught Haddin. Sorry for that.

So now Harris, thundering in from the Nursery End…
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of Civilization as we know it – or perhaps as the
rumblefish know it – or the aardvaarks !

Well, where there are civilized species, and endings,
it will be the end

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of the rope is a thirteen turned noose…(click)

around the wicket, with a 6-3 offside field. Clarke making his intentions clear; Trott's been somewhat subdued since Collingwood's dismissal, and he's been given a real "Six or Out" field…
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kinda sick, maw! I never feeled so bad in all mah life! I swear, I'll never eat another apple off'n Mr. Goldwyn's tree even if I wuzs starvin'…
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a rebellious mule ! It works ! If those busybodies from
the local animal protection society don't twig, we'll
have those mules whipped into shape in no time !

Now, as to learning the Packer's Hitch,

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hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams started as a comedy radio play on the BBC in 1978 and expanded into a TV series, a series of novels, and a feature film…The story follows the adventures of Arthur Dent, the last human who hitched a ride off Earth moments before it was destroyed to make way for an interstellar bypass.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already…(click)

been the case, although not here – at least, not that
can be easily determined – or perhaps not determined at
all, merely speculated upon – or, if speculation is
deemed

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an unfit parent, Charles, eyes downcast, walked slowly down the aisle of the courtroom and stepped through the double doors, out into the harsh…
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marshmallow fluff makes an excellent addition to the yams at Thanksgiving dinner. A perfect wine pairing would be…

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…Thunderbird. What's the price? Just two bits twice. This flavorful white wine, made from…

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the spawn of Hell! Such abominations are depicted clearly in his early work when …

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once more, I must ride with my knights to defend what was, and the dream of what could be.

That's it…and look upon this moment…Savor it! Rejoice with great gladness! Great gladness! Remember it always, for you are joined by it…You are One, under the stars…Remember it well, then…this night, this great victory…So that in the years ahead, you can say, 'I was there that night, with Arthur, the King!' For it is the doom of men that they forget…(click)

…like a record, baby.

You spin me…

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all night on a drink a' rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Stack banana till the mornin' come
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home

It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot…(click)

…that was most definately a wide. Bell wanders around his crease, does a bit of gardening. England two hundred and sixty one for four, from 76 overs – a good strike rate of a little over 57.

Hilfenhaus inspects the seam, and shines the ball on his …

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chin so he wiped it off and took another spoonful of the Phở, making sure to keep the fatty meat in his spoon this time…(click)

…after time…

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*Please note that we are adding in a click, as this is the rule of the game. However, our readers should be advised that, in the real universe, any radio would explode from Cindy Lauper overload at this point.

zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space

On such a timeless flight
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did

And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week

A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it's gonna be a long long time…(click)

Mr. Williams, at least 5 years, more if the judge deems
you acted with malice.

And you'll be incarcerated in the State's lockup, not
the local jail.

Get your affairs in order, Mr. Williams, because

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…these tickets will be YOURS, if you are the 55th caller to our contest line. Not the regular request line, but our contest line, just dial…

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…M for Murder". Tonight the Dreft Star Playhouse presents Ray Milland and Grace Kelly in this radio recreation of the film originally directed by…

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higher authority to enter the premises and to collect
evidence. That's why we're here, Officer, and not
to steal anything ! Why,

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do fools fall in love?

Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day,
Why do they fall in…

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Here's the stretch, a slider, swing at the plate, that balls ou (click)

…lofted of square, and into the spectators. Oh I say, did that hit someone? No, he was just trying to make sure he didn't spill his…
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…one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
Well, I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get…

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satisfaction,
satisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm drivin' in my car
and a man comes on the radio
he's tellin' me more and more
about some useless information
supposed to fire my imagination.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

I can't get no satisfaction,
I can't get no satisfaction.
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm watchin'…(click)

…Frankie sing I get goose bumps. He really sends me! He's the most!

This is walter Winchell talking to a group of Bobby Soxers outside the Radio City Music Hall in New York City where Frank Sinatra will be making an appearance tonight with the Tommy Dorsey Band. This crowd of teenagers is going absolutely…

NUTS, Billy, totally freakin' IN-DAMN-SANE !!!"

How you EVER got the idea to

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try to pitch him on the inside, boy that sure was a close one. Now the batter shakes the dust off of his <click>

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,"

Yet more radio drama, where was the music? Sighing, I moved to switch the station…

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WPAZ concludes its broadcasting day. Transmitting at 1500 kilowatts, WPAZ is licensed with the Federal Communications Commission.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, our National Anthem:

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation.
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

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New World…where Alpha children wear gray…They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever…I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard…And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas….Gammas are stupid…They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki…Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children…And Epsilons are still worse…They're too stupid to be able to read or write…Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color…I'm so glad I'm a Beta…(click)

You're a Pepper!

Wouldn't you like to drink a Pepper, too?!

Dr-i-i-i-nk…

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…some kind of molecular acid."

"Thing's got one heck of a defense mechanism; you don't dare…"

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to interrupt the octopus when he's playing the oboe.

Or the weasels at their violins, either. In fact, I
don't think I'd care to

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