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sanctioned by M.I.B. special services…You'll conform to the identity we give you…Eat where we tell you…Live where we tell you…From now on, you'll have no identifying marks of any kind…You will not stand out in any way…Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter…You are a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu, and dismissed just as quickly…You don't exist…You were never even born…Anonymity is your name, silence is your native tongue…You are no longer part of the system…You are above the system, over it, beyond it…We're "them." We're "they." We are the Men in…(click)

real trouble with the Sheriff's Office, since they
didn't

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…keep your miniature schnauzers in the crate when you were out. They tore the…
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cover off the ball !

And when the dust had cleared away,
a mighty

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…bomb was exploded near the rear of the train. Police have declared a state of emergency, and are evacuating all local shops on schools in the area. This bombing is also linked to a tragedy last fall when a bus full of nuns…(click)

in this war…things get confused out there…Power, ideals, the old morality, and practical military necessity…But out there with these natives, it must be a temptation to be God…Because there's a conflict in every human heart, between the rational and irration, between good and evil…And good does not always triumph…Sometimes, the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called the better angels of our nature…(click)

Boy vs. Gorgeous George ! Come on out for the filmed
replay of this great one-time match, brought to you
originally in 1958, courtesy of

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the average "knight"was far less sterling than as portrayed in the popular image of King Arthur's contingent.

Knights had to be reminded not to spit out…
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of sight, out of mind is their refrain. We voters must
be aware of the misdeeds, nay, the malfeasances in office
committed in the name of

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the New York Subway Authority thank you for participating in our drill…Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would have been EATEN…'Cause you don't listen! You're ignorant! How's a man gonna come crashin' through the back of a subway win – that's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers!…"Oh no, we've seen it all!"…"Oh no, a 600 foot worm, save us Mr. Black Man!"…I ask you nicely to move forward to the next car, y'all just sit there like…(click)

you were born to do it! There's never been a better time to go skydiving off of <click!>

be in pictures,
You're wonderful to see,
You oughta be in pictures,
Oh what a hit you would be!
Your voice would thrill a nation,
Your face would be adored,
You'd make a great sensation
with wealth and fame your reward;
And if you should kiss the way you kiss,
When we're alone,
You'd make ev'ry girl and man
A fan worshiping at your throne.
You oughta shine as brightly
As Jupiter and …

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…"Escape". Designed to free you from the four walls of today for a half hour of high adventure. Tonight we bring you Daphne Du Maurier's exciting story "The…

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…Passions of Teen Lust!
Yes…This evil Rock and Roll music and Rockabilly music is going to be the downfall of western civilization. All real Americans, all good, true, patriotic, God fearing Americans realize that the problems of the teenagers of this decade comes from Rock and Roll Music and…

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those miserable clowns which call themselves a School
Board ! How in the name of all that's

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jazz!
I'm gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz

Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot

It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!

Slick you hair
And wear you buckle shoes
And all that jazz

I hear that father dip
Is gonna blow the blues
and all that jazz

Hold on, hon
We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at united drug

In case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that-
Jazz.

Oh, you're gonna see you sheba
Shimmy shake
And all that jazz

Oh, shey's gonna shimmy till her garters
break

And all that jazz

Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle…

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the milk over low heat. Finally, slowly stir-in

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…20 cases of bonded Scotch whiskey. That'll cost ya plenty Moran. Can ya pay it?

Don't worry about my end. You just show up with the goods and my men will…

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pop the completed casserole in the oven and bake at
350 for

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you want to serve and I can't talk you out of it, then we have to take you, because that's your constitutional right…It says that everybody, male or female, should have his born right to pay his service and assume full citizenship -- but the facts are that we are getting hard pushed to find things for all the volunteers to do that aren't just glorified KP…You can't all be real military men; we don't need that many and most of the volunteers aren't number-one soldier material anyhow…we've had to think up a whole list of dirty, nasty, dangerous jobs that will…at the very least make them remember for the rest of their lives that their citizenship is valuable to them because they've paid a high price for it…A term of service is…either real military service, rough and dangerous even in peacetime…or a most unreasonable facsimile thereof…(click)

mailed to the local patent office, where it will be analyzed and evaluated for practicality and innovation. If approved, the concept will be tested by being submitted to a room full of enraged ourangoutans, who will provide a thorough and strenuous…
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colonoscopy – all the rage down at the local medico's
clinic ! And cheap, too ! Why, for only

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(click)…64 crayons was the largest box I ever had. Now my gandma, had the really big box with the sharpener in the back. We used to sit on her kitchen and color for hours. That was the only fun we could afford them. That was until she…(click)

hemmed and hawed and never did make any sort of decision
about

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some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail…(click)

China is here Mr. Burton…The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, they've been fighting for centuries…What the hell does that mean? huh? China is here, I don't even know what the hell that means, all I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a back street alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with light coming out of his mouth…(click)

the pre-Civil war West, borne by pony-riding youths who set records every day with their marathon station-to station rides.

And Pony Express wasn't cheap--a brief letter on very light stationery stock could cost…
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"…. By strange coincidence, a thunderstorm had been brewing when Mahon, doing his grisly work at the bungalow, was dealing with the most grisly job of all--the head, the woman's head. He had severed it from the trunk, built a
huge fire in the sitting room, placed her head upon it, then (I owe a debt here to Edgar Wallace, who edited the transcript of the Mahon trial), then the storm broke with a violent flash of lightning and an appalling crash of
thunder.

As the head of Emily Kaye lay upon the coals, the dead eyes
opened, and Mahon fled out to the deserted shore. When he nerved himself to return, the fire had done its work. The head was never found…."

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to be sane and capable of standing trial, your Honor.
Thus was I engaged to represent the defendant. The
truckloads of offal were provided as a retainer, but
I of course demurred, preferring instead a bedlam of
sound, flickering images and wandering thoughts.

Imagine my utter shock and dismay when

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…shortly after the People's Republic of China entered the conflict, the People's Volunteer Army 9th Army infiltrated the northeastern part of North Korea and surprised the US 10th Corps at the Chosin Reservoir area.

This is Edward R. Murrow reporting from…

…a giant salami from "Salami-Grams". And to make your evening even moe pleaurable we offer…

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her Honor,
He honored her offer,
So all night long,
It was honor and…

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when I find her, I will marry her…Ching Dai will be appeased, my curse will be lifted!…And you can go on to rule the universe from beyond the grave…Indeed!…Or check into a psycho ward, whichever comes first, right?…Jack, will you…"Jack" what? I'm supposed to buy this poo? 2000 years, he can't find one broad to fit the bill?…Come on, Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong!…There have been others, to be sure…There are always others…But you know, Mr. Burton, the difficulties between men and women…How seldom it works out? Yet we all keep trying, like fools…(click)

…rush in
Where wise men never go
but wise men never fall in love
so how are they to…

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believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back…I mean, sure, it's messy, it's crowded, it's polluted, and there are people who would just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on!…There's gotta be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out bird…We just gotta find a way to mobilize it…(click)

sells, does sex. Why, put a sexy broad on a billboard,
the product'll move like hotcakes in a famine zone !
So, why not try

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…to turn the clock back a few years and enjoy your time in the Zone. After all, it's what we have, folks. Might as well make the most of it. Turning to other news, the "Crater", the irradiated blast zone formerly known as Washington DC in the years before the war, is reported by The Patrol to be heavily infested with…

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…Japanese forces. The island was taken after several days of bloody fighting when Colonel

1500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe…500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat…And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet…Imagine what you'll know tomorrow…(click)

…morning when we ride out we'll be leaving the fort unprotected sir!

Don't tell me how to run my command sergeant! Those filthy redskins will never try to…

enlarge the hole with an awl, or a slightly over-size
drill bit. Once you've accomplished the enlargement,
you can

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…really please your lady friend, Doc. She really like orchids, they say. These number one orchids in all of Indochina. You know what they say about ladies and flowers…"

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there is no place in this outfit for either, soldier! Now drop and give me twenty, maggot…
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s, and four broken vertebrae…A steel rod inserted into his pelvis kept him upright…what horrible will could keep such a creature as this alive?…Subject, Karl Ruprecht Kroenen…Born in Munich, 1897…uffered from a masochistic compulsion commonly known as "surgical addiction"…Both eyelids surgically removed, along with his upper and lower lip, making speech impossible…The blood in his veins dried up decades ago…Only dust remains…(click)

…lest dust we become. And let us remember the words of St. Cyril of Armenia, who, upon being martyred by being cooked upon a gigantic grill by the Emperor Jovian, dryly remarked to the assembled crowd,…

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…frankly my dear I don't give a damn!

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which collapsed catastrophically in 1936, to be replaced by the Hoover Dam, one of the most imposing…
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impositions in the history of relatonships ! Really,
Scott, you've borrowed money, tools, the lawnmower,
two dogs and the car ! NO WAY will I loan you

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…Rin-Tin-Tin, Errol Flynn, Anthony Quinn and The Andrews Sisters in "Boogie Woogie…

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whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!…Did I frighten you?…Didn't mean to…Sorry…Howdy…My name…is Woody…and this…is Andy's room…That's all I wanted to say…And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up…This is my spot, see…the bed here…Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here…I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit…My ship has crash-landed here by mistake…Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot…I need to repair my turbo boosters. Are you still using fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?…Well, let's see, we got double-A's…(click)