"Bizarre moments in diplomacy" Topic

I was browsing Cassius Dio's history of Rome (as one does) when I came across this item:

"When Trajan in his campaign against the Dacians had drawn near Tapae, where the barbarians were encamped, a large mushroom was brought to him on which was written in Latin characters a message to the effect that the Buri and other allies advised Trajan to turn back and keep the peace."

Brilliant! And yet it did not work, apparently.

Thus we absorb one of history's lessons; fungus is suboptimal as a medium of communication. Ah, the benefits of a classical education!

I knew some folks in college who used to get messages in their mushrooms. Wouldn't advise following them, however.

Makes you wonder how large that mushroom was.

Latin is a parsimonious language.

Makes you wonder if there is a Latin slang for parchment that also mean fungus?

Kind of like page can mean a sheet of paper or a young boy.

Beware Dacians bearing shrooms.

I guess he didn't fall for the one that said "eat me!"

Another interesting diplomatic incident was the death of the Emperor Valentinian in 375. He had received an embassy from the Quadi, who had risen in revolt, and their explanation for rebellion (they blamed foreign barbarians for the plundering, and also said they were justified in rising because the Romans had built some kind of barrier) so incensed Valentinian that he flew into a rage and began lecturing the barbarians on their insolence. The emperor became so angry that he had a stroke and dropped dead!

I've always like the story of Gailus Popillius Laenas, twice consul, sent as an envoy to prevent the Seleucid king Antiochus IV Epiphanes from invading Egypt:

'After receiving the submission of the inhabitants of Memphis and of the rest of the Egyptian people, some submitting voluntarily, others under threats, [Antiochus] marched by easy stages towards Alexandria. After crossing the river at Eleusis, about four miles from Alexandria, he was met by the Roman commissioners, to whom he gave a friendly greeting and held out his hand to Popilius.

'Popilius, however, placed in his hand the tablets on which was written the decree of the senate and told him first of all to read that. After reading it through he said he would call his friends into council and consider what he ought to do. Popilius, stern and imperious as ever, drew a circle round the king with the stick he was carrying and said, "Before you step out of that circle give me a reply to lay before the senate."

'For a few moments he hesitated, astounded at such a peremptory order, and at last replied, "I will do what the senate thinks right." Not till then did Popilius extend his hand to the king as to a friend and ally. Antiochus evacuated Egypt at the appointed date, and the commissioners exerted their authority to establish a lasting concord between the brothers, as they had as yet hardly made peace with each other.'--Livy, Ab Urbe Condita, xlv.12.

…that incident giving us the expression "to draw a line in the sand", and demonstrating the authority which a sole Roman senator could wield to command the kings of Asia.

Allen

"I guess he didn't fall for the one that said "eat me!""

Nice… :)

'course the classic is…

"Nuts"

The Romans were always high handed!

There was also the XYZ Affair. I've always been sort of fascinated by that – as well as attempted foreign intervention in early US elections (I take foreign intervention in more recent elections as a matter of course).

I like the Skythians sending the Persian King of Kings a plate of fried mice, crabgrass and sushi. He COMPLETELY misinterpreted the "gifts"!

Allen, you are quoting Livy. Come on…

Sushi?

'Diplomacy' is always easier when you can beat the living daylights out of your negotiating partner, and they know it.

The Chalcans (who, judging by their previous treatment of Moctezuma I in 1428 showed a peculiar disregard for diplomatic immunity), seized the Tlatelolcan ambassadors and handed them over to Axayacatl, who had them killed; their bodies were returned to Chalco, boiled, and served at a banquet in honour of Moquihuix, present in person in Chalco to plead his case.

"Well it was a tense moment and we were all waiting for Germany & Austria-Hungary to submit their orders. We waited, waited & waited some more, until the umpire finally went into the bedroom to look for them. He found the window open, the curtain flapping in the breeze and the pair gone."

Oh, Diplomacy with a small d. My apologies…

Early in the Aztecs' career they were mercenaries. In one interesting episode, their employers brought in a hoard of prisoners without their ears. When asked, the Aztecs displayed the ears. Their ally was so impressed, he insisted on marrying his daughter to their king. They insisted it be performed in their temple. Imagine daddy's surprise when the Aztec priests came out wearing her skin.

Fried mice, John? Was Extra Crispy involved somehow?

Read Unlikely Allies, by Joel Richard Paul, a new book about Silas Deane's mission to gain French support for the American Revolution. All the links and events are incredibly bizarre.

Here's my review: link

Did they get repeat business?

Bloody fruitcakes.

Re the mushroom, you do wonder if a translation/copying issue is involved. In one of the Elizabethan translations of the Faust legend, Faust drives round Wittenberg on a 'broom of holly'. In the German original, it refers to a particular kind of perfectly unmagical carriage, the word for which just happens to sound like the German for 'Broom of holly'.

If they'd given the message to a slime mold, it could have travelled to the emperor on its own

Just so! See the reference to some believeing it was a mushroom-shaped *pot* (based on an actual example):

link

See also page 65 here, referring to the same inscibed pot:

PDF link

Allen