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"Bad names for your ship." Topic

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2,943 hits since 15 May 2009
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vaughan Inactive Member16 May 2009 4:29 a.m. PST

"HMS TROUTBRIDGE" I remember her, "left hand down a bit"

Ethics Gradient Inactive Member16 May 2009 5:02 a.m. PST

How about a future in which warships have corporate sponsors?

HMS Soft, Strong and Very Long
HMS Taste the Rainbow
HMS 57 Varieties

Ethics Gradient Inactive Member16 May 2009 5:08 a.m. PST

Oh, and of course, my own screen name is an Iain Banks ship from 'Excession'

Last Hussar16 May 2009 5:40 a.m. PST

The broadcast the Navy Lark on Radio 7

I considered the Banks names, but wasn't sure it was him, and didn't know any names!

Some TMP'ers names would be worrying.- USS OFM
HMS Completely Indestructible the 5th
USS Hannah Montana
USS Ivana Trump
HMS Seasick
HMS Broadmoor ( link )
HMS Homeopathy (the less we shoot, the more damage we do)

Personal logo Virtualscratchbuilder Supporting Member of TMP Fezian16 May 2009 6:00 a.m. PST

Then there's the pirate cruiser "Bloated Pustule of Death"

Klebert L Hall Inactive Member16 May 2009 6:03 a.m. PST


Personal logo The Nigerian Lead Minister Supporting Member of TMP16 May 2009 6:15 a.m. PST

HMS Indigestion
HMS Inedible

Lampyridae Inactive Member16 May 2009 7:12 a.m. PST

Yes, Mr. U-Bootwaffe-going to starve us into surrender with your fleet of big metal penises-man , think on this as you drift forever down into the mansions of Poseidon's hoary deeps… you were sunk by HMS Buttercup.

ROFL. No, really. My significant other wondered if I was mentally ill.

HMS :)

Ethics Gradient Inactive Member16 May 2009 7:14 a.m. PST

Nah, those last two were too hard to swallow.


Ethics Gradient Inactive Member16 May 2009 7:19 a.m. PST

For real ships, I've always liked how the US Navy Ammunition ships are named after volcanoes.

Now THAT's a warped sense of humour!

Gecoren16 May 2009 8:59 a.m. PST

One from Traveller:

The Blatant Lie

and from Star Wreck:

Kickstart, Excavator, Backgammon and Appalling

Personal logo Jeff Ewing Supporting Member of TMP16 May 2009 9:27 a.m. PST

I seem to recall reading that one of the Colombine shooters played Traveller and had a ship called SS Manuel Noreiga. If it's not true, it should be.

Lion in the Stars16 May 2009 10:42 a.m. PST

You know, there *is* a destroyer named the USS Halyburton. (I know, different spelling, but what can you do?)

Personal logo Saginaw Supporting Member of TMP16 May 2009 10:54 a.m. PST

USS Bill Clinton.

I said it! So there!


Personal logo Dances With Words Supporting Member of TMP Fezian16 May 2009 11:09 a.m. PST

SS Minnow

…a three hour tour….

Only Warlock Inactive Member16 May 2009 11:33 a.m. PST

USSS "Photon Catcher IV"

Parzival16 May 2009 3:11 p.m. PST

SS Fire Magnet.

OldGrenadier Fezian16 May 2009 5:30 p.m. PST

HMS Insufferable
HMS Irrelevant
HMS Inappropriate
HMS Ineligible
HMS Illegible
HMS Insomniac
HMS Imbecile
HMS Ineffective
HMS Indifferent
HMS Innards

The German destroyer von Trinksblut und Eygenessen

USS Jubal H. T. Cornpone

Sgt McWarMonkey Inactive Member16 May 2009 5:50 p.m. PST

USS Shooting Star
USS Down in Flames
USS Fireball
USS Teddy Bear
USS Kitten
USS Puss in Boots
USS Screaming Little School Girl
USS Janet Reno

SECURITY MINISTER CRITTER Inactive Member16 May 2009 5:52 p.m. PST

notes Clean shaven and shorn pone! notes
Bonus points to whoever knows what that's from.

BSS Phat Daddee Bwanah
IJN Setting Sun

The German destroyer von Trinksblut und Eygenessen

(That's Augenessen)
I'm a direct descendant of Graf Critter von Trinksblut und Augenessen, and Graf Critter von Essling!
Evidently von was a popular name that year.
USS Viagra if nobody has said it yet.

Sgt McWarMonkey Inactive Member16 May 2009 7:05 p.m. PST

USS Teletubby
USS Tinky Winky
USS El Stinko
The tin can destroyer "Pork n Beans"

Sgt McWarMonkey Inactive Member16 May 2009 9:49 p.m. PST

Corporate sponsored
USS Huggies
USS Trojan
USS Smuckers motto "Call us when your in a jam"
USS Ben Gay
USS Snuggies
USS Alpo
USS Spacial Kitty
USS Kibble N Bits
USS Frosted Flakes

Mikhail Lerementov Inactive Member17 May 2009 5:30 a.m. PST

Li'l Abner. The musical.

Jubilation T Cornpone
Talk about your Cornpone
Jubilation T Cornpone
The man who saved the day.

Buff Orpington Inactive Member17 May 2009 10:01 a.m. PST

My fleet tankers & tenders in FT are being named after Spanish oil companies and chain stores. At present the tanker 'Repsol' and the supply vessel 'El Corte Ingles' are in service.

Soldat17 May 2009 10:45 a.m. PST

Don't forget the wondeful latin bread company Bimbo!

SECURITY MINISTER CRITTER Inactive Member17 May 2009 4:12 p.m. PST

'El Corte Ingles'

The best department stores in Spain, and second only to Harrods.

SECURITY MINISTER CRITTER Inactive Member17 May 2009 8:23 p.m. PST

SO Buff, do you have a Gallerias Preciados?

flicking wargamer Inactive Member18 May 2009 8:54 a.m. PST

SS Whackamole
SS Swiss Cheese
SS Brick
SS Lead
SS Rock
SS Churchs
SS Screen Doors
SS Matchstick
SS Gascan
SS One Hit Wonder
SS Almost (Of course, the only survivor, because Almost: hit the target and made it home!).

I played in a WW2 bomber game where we had
Miss Direction, Miss Taken, Miss Informed and Miss Guided in my group.

Personal logo capncarp Supporting Member of TMP22 May 2009 10:25 p.m. PST

HMS Snivelling Git
HMS Blatantly Offensive
HMS Raging Queen
HMS Whingebag (and sister-ship Whiner)
HMS Fleer (Flee-er)
HMS Timorous
HMS Tremulous
HMS Whitefeather
HMS Turntail
HMS Blackhead, sister ship HMS Pimple
HMS Crestfallen

USS Chickenhawk
USS B!tch-Slap
USS Yellowstreak
USS Charmin
USS Creampuff

Smokey Roan Inactive Member02 Jun 2009 3:22 p.m. PST

How about Mexican ships?

ARM Cuatro Sinko
ARM Conio
ARM Aye Carumba
ARM No Bueno
ARM El Guapo
ARM Maricon
ARM Ayeeeee!
ARM Retirada

Frederick Supporting Member of TMP02 Jun 2009 10:05 p.m. PST

The good ship Righteous Indignation (from a cartoon show my kids used to like to watch)

Them there are the Royal Navy Insect Class gunboats

HMS Barfly
HMS Screwfly
HMS Dung Beetle
HMS Maggot

Not to mention all those Royal Navy abbreviations

HMS Bellepheron – the "Belly Ruffian"

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