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"NEWSFLASH!!! Super Element to be sold to highest bidder!" Topic


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Personal logo Murphy Sponsoring Member of TMP02 Dec 2008 5:41 p.m. PST

European News Network (ENN),"All the news, delivered with a European Flair, by a Eurobabe…"
MYSTERIOUS "SUPER ELEMENT BONGOLESIUM" RUMORED TO BE SOLD TO HIGHEST BIDDER!
(Sudekia) In a frightening turn of events, a spokesman for the Anti-Govt. Force of the Bongolesian African Revolutionary Front (BARF) said today that their possession of the rare mysterious super element "Bongolesium", they would sell to the highest bidder.
"Since we need cold hard cash to purchase the boomy boomy to use against B'wonahs Regime, this strange glowing stuff has seemed to generate a lot of interest. So we are going to put it on market to the highest bidder." The spokesman who was never identified said.
In an interview over the telephone, after the European News Network accepted the charges for the collect call, the spokesman confirmed that BARF does indeed have possession of the scientists from Perverticus Industries, and the container of Bongolesium.
"It's time that the developed nations of the world stop coming into our third world hellhole and trying to make it an even worse place than it already is. If there is going to be anyone to ruin our nation, it should be the native indigenous population that be given the opportunity to do so." The spokesman said, while cheers and the rattle of weapons fire could be heard in the background.
Unconfirmed international reports also say that Iranian and Chinese delegations are preparing to leave for Africa to see "what kind of deals" can be made with BARF.
"At first we wuz thinking of putting this up on ebay, but since we don't ship to Italy, and the Paypal fees are absurd in this portion of the world, we've decided to let the buyer come to us." The spokesman said.
Meanwhile, various military units of the Bongolesia National Defense Forces have been rumored to have been put on a low key alert for possible operations.
"Staff officers have been seen coming and going at National Headquarters and the President-For-Life, P'hat Daddee B'wonah has been busily keeping his fingers in the pie of the operation." Said a govt. spokesman who wished to remain anonymous.
President B'wonah will be hosting a state dinner this evening, and in the spirit of goodwill and good intentions has invited the Eurobabes of the ENN to attend.
Stay tuned to the European News Network (ENN), as this situation unfolds. "All the news, delivered with a European Flair, by a Eurobabe…"
We now return you to the end credits of "Brazilian Beach Babes Hot Oil Bikini Rub-Down"…

kyoteblue02 Dec 2008 6:42 p.m. PST

Oh damn those penny pinching bean counters at State!!!!! If they had released that UAV when I asked for it!!!!!

Personal logo Dances With Words Supporting Member of TMP Fezian02 Dec 2008 6:47 p.m. PST

'….strange glowing stuff…'

I have a BAD feeling about this!!!

I think it was an episode from the first season of SeaQuest DSV…where one chap in a 'sea-spider' vehical ran into one of my LARGE cousins…and then found 'fields of strange glowing stuff' that he started harvesting and so did about everyone else on the sub!!!!

It later turned out that the 'glow' was a residual effect of the GIANT squid consuming mass amounts of 'photoluminescent' lifeforms…and then the 'concentrated remains'…were EXCRETED and continued to 'bio-luminesce' for some time after….

In short…everyone was collecting concentrated chunks of 'glowing squid poo'…

but I guess…THAT's another story…(if you REALLY want to know about it…)

on the other tentacle…if the 'BARF-ee's' are around it LONG enough….they won't have to worry about 'revolutions' or a 'next generation of revolutinaries' and I shall gladly put their names in for the next DARWIN AWARD nominations…(posthumously and in lead-lined envelopes of course…)

Slishes to all and to all a good Tentaclpocalypse!
Sgt DWW-btod

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP02 Dec 2008 7:16 p.m. PST

I still say that it sounds like phinnertium lavendercake.

Go0gle Inactive Member02 Dec 2008 7:17 p.m. PST

I'm bidding 3 banana creme pies and a dozen chocolate chip cookies!

Personal logo Saber6 Supporting Member of TMP Fezian02 Dec 2008 7:21 p.m. PST

Well if it sold to the Second highest bidder, THAT would be news. Of course we have piles of tha stuff in L'tumNe. The thanks we get for giving Phat Daddee B'wonah a sample.

Top Gun Ace Inactive Member02 Dec 2008 8:54 p.m. PST

I hope they know what they are doing, since Bongolesium, much like the dictators that have run Bongolesia in the past, can be very unstable…..

Doc Perverticus Inactive Member03 Dec 2008 1:53 p.m. PST

For a moderate 'processing fee'. I could be persuaded to direct any interested party to the site of the Bongolesium mines.

Just a stray thought.

Rattlehead Inactive Member03 Dec 2008 6:15 p.m. PST

Hmmm… Doc Perverticus in disguise… Why does that guy look familiar?

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