"IT'S NOT REAL!!!!" Topic

To the folks of TMP.
Okay I know you are a well informed bunch…
But I have to stress…again….

The African Country of "Bongolesia" is NOT real…

There was a website out there recently that had one of my "press releases" actually posted up on their "Worldwide Industrial Developments" page…

So please folks…if you hear someone say "It's a real country"…please tell them otherwise. I simply don't need the Feds knocking on my door…

Thanks…

Murph

Link, please?
Just so we know whose press releases are backed by dubious research.

So, the loan requests to the UN, that were approved should be cancelled?

Someone is not going to be happy!

Probably the head finance minister/dogcatcher of the country.

Oh no, no no. This has the potential for way to much fun…and abuse. Ignorance of political geography is a crime punishable by ridicule.

If anything, you need MORE press releases…like how the Bongo's were featured on the "Worldwide Industrial Developments" website.

I checked the CIA factbook and right there between the entries for Boliva and Bosnia was NOTHING! Government cover up or proof its a ficticious country? You decide!

If i knew how to put an emoticon of rolling on the floor laughing, i would.

"Just so we know whose press releases are backed by dubious research."

That would be anything coming out of the current…

Oh, yeah: no CA.

It doesn't stop people from taking swipes at Obama, unchastised by his Editorness, but I at least can restrain myself.

Allen

Okay, so the Royal Guard is fine with deferred paychecks, provided they receive the 25% late payment bonus within two weeks, but the heads of the army, airforce, and marines are threatening a revolt, if they don't get their normal monthly paychecks on time, in addition to their cases of Pepsi, and the diamonds they were promised.

I tried reasoning with them, but when they drew their weapons, I decided to back off.

The Finance Minister muttered something about releasing compromising photos, and secret transcripts under his breath, but wouldn't elaborate further. He also said he has Zeus and Apollo hidden away…..

Off to Wiki, to investigate the situation in Bongolesia further.

If word of the cancelled UN Loans gets out, the civilians may rise up too.

Things are beginning to look dire…..

Had to find the cached version of it. Funny stuff. :-)

link

Well Mr. Smart Guy,

If Bongolesia isn't real then how do they have a Minister of Oil and how does he have my email? Huh?

No answer for that one, eh? When I'm rolling in dough we'll see if Bongolesia is real or not.

Don't be a hater.

As long as we can stop the sufferage in Tsunami everything will be all right.

Ahh, I see the "good" Doctor is relocating

Sorry to bust your bubble Murph but Bongolesia is VERY real.
I have an appointemnt with the embassy next week to transfer several thousand petrodollars into an off-shore account.
Dont mention this to the
feds ok?

Well, I've BEEN to Bongolesia, I KNOW Bongolesia, and you, sir, are NO Bongolesia!

What REALLY scares me is that Bongolesia and John Grisham are sharing the same page!!!!!!

oh dear…

OH, come on now, would Yanni play in a ficticious country…he did a 3 hour concert in Bongolesia last March and has a return encore engagement scheduled for December…surely this entertainment giant would not be so foolish as to play where things don't really exist, now would he? Hururmmp.

john grisham is far less credible than bongolesia obviously. I wonder if someone got their arse kicked for that litle insert?

Does this mean the passport and credentials you sold me that proves I'm the Bongolesian Minister Plenipotentiary to Las Vegas is not what it appears?

Newsflash 28 Aug. 2008
05:49 GMT
Rheuters

Suddolesia is gearing up for war!!!

We are reporting exclusively tonight, via satellite link, that the Suddolesian Junta has decided to aid the revolt of key ministers in Bongolesia. The SJMF (Suddolesian Junta's Military Forces) are mobilizing its 357th Paramilitary Battalion, along with its 45th Long Range Recon Armored Regiment, and are planning on driving deep into Bongolesia to strike at its capital, in conjunction with forces previously thought to be loyal to the Bongolesion United Military Strikeforces (BUMS).

Apparently, the unrest has been caused by internet rumors of the cancellation of UN loans slated to aid the country, in order to bring it up from 196 to 195 in the world per capita income rankings (including the nations of Taiwan, Kosova, and the city-state, Vatican City). Since the breakawy Republic of Bongolesia is so new, it is frequently left off all but the most comprehensive of country lists, and is still not represented in the UN currently. Bongolesia's ambassador hopes to have that situation rectified soon, after the scandal he has been involved in dies down a bit more (additional information to follow). Russia, China, and a number of other former communist countries have pushed for full representation for Bongolesia in the UN.

More news later, as it becomes available.

This is Geraldo Guevara, for ANN (the African News Network)signing off.

End transmission…..

Wow, I missed the details on the February uprising:

link

"iReport.com: See it first. Your Stories. No Boundaries.
You won't believe what people are uploading".

Note, I did not create the above text. It really is the official posting on CNN.

Here's the link on where to post current, unedited, unfiltered news stories:

ireport.com/index.jspa

Looking at the page it seems like the type of thing people would do to scam google- put up a page with lots of 'content' to rank higher on google. Did they put a link in the comments section of your blog?

Rich

Bongolesia is not real ???

Next he's gonna say that Elvis, Jim Morrison and Paul McCartney are dead, that Australia really exists and that Welsh is not a made up language !

I just received a email from the cousin of the Finance Ministers second cousins sister-in-law on their fathers side saying she has 48,000 Riels she needs to get but I have to send her $1.98 USD so I can get a cut…..

Those cancelled loans are a real pain. I had a promotion at work lined up if I could get them to sign the contract for the new Metro system.

They are too real! What? Oh, sorry, wrong thread…

I'm all puffed up with pride!!!

Thanks a lot Murph, now I have to cancel the vacation! Now I have to talk the family into a backup trip to Cantelopia or someplace.

Murph, bullcrap, I was just there with my family. What are you talking about?
--
Tim

How dare you say that Bongolesia doe's not exsist. I know that you want to stay off the radar of the world, and claim that we do not exist, but our village of tumba have banded together to gain internet access, and have asked the great and powerfull moonhippie to speak for us.

We are very poor, and live in very small 28mm huts. We have no clothing, and our well is almost dry. We struggle to maintain our existance while the government gets rich. Please help us…

we are so poor we only live in 15mm huts…

Yeah, and at Sally Struthers has run out of food and is eating the children! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

I contacted the UN about the loans, and they are a bit worried about "bad press", so have decided not to cancel them afterall, regardless of if the reasons for them are legitimate or not.

They would prefer just to have the whole issue swept under the rug…..

In case any of you missed it, the NY Times has reported on recent events in Bongolesia too:

link

Sadly, I cannot take credit for the report.

Top Gun,

You're good. Really good.

Thanks for the compliment, but it wasn't me, honest.

I only wish I knew how to pull that off.

If you look under the writers byline on that article, it's dated 1966-

I also think that you did this Top Gun- You're a marvel!

Wait what about that 2500 acre ranch I just bought from you for raising Ostriches?

I want my MONEY BACK!

Anyone want to buy some ostrich eggs before they hatch?

Every time you Google Bongolnesia, an angel gets his wings…

If one forgets how to bongo, does one have Bongoamnesia? Then, that proves it is real.

Every time you Google Bongolnesia, an angel gets his wings…

Are you sure? I thought it was every time you Google Bongolesia, Sally Struthers eats an orphan.

Newsflash 29 Aug. 2008
06:57 GMT
Rheuters

This is Geraldo Guevara, reporting to you once again, live, on the frontier between Bongolesia, and its small, militant neighbor to the south, Suddolesia.

As I mentioned last night, in an exclusive report, filed by me, the sole reporter on the scene in this small backwater region of Africa, things are certainly getting interesting.

Apparently, the Bongolesian revolt has been quelled for now. Rumors are that the UN has decided to provide the loans necessary to bring this country up one notch from the bottom of the world's per capita earnings, afterall.

Suddolesia's 357th Paramilitary is still amassing on the border, but heavy rains in the region have caused the river along the frontier to overflow its banks. Lead elements of the unit, attempting to cross at a ford were eaten by crocs, so follow-on units are milling about wondering what to do. It seems their commander wanted to lead from the front, in an unusual gesture of bravery and leadership, and paid the ultimate price. Sadly, he will never know why other leaders choose to let their troops lead the way instead.

Still, he is being heralded as a hero by the local people here, posthumously. His surving family members will get a goat, and two chickens as compensation.

Nothing has been heard from the 45th LRRAR, but they have been reportedly mobilized as well. Since they lack integral bridging equipment for their T-55 tanks, the swollen river will no doubt cause a slight delay in their advance. Apparently, the Russian wading snorkels provided with them, have not been properly maintained – this was discovered the hard way, during the last war, when 20% of their force was wiped out due to this defect.

Wait, what's that buzzing noise overhead?!? It sounds like a mosquito. Those certainly are thick, and rather large here, being the country's official state "bird", but this is even louder.

It's getting closer….

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM………can hear the loud report of 57mm… BOOM…anti-aircraft guns mounted on an ancient ZSU chassis. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM….they appear to have damaged the low-flying drone, and it is falling to earth, like a wounded Tse-Tse fly after being smacked with the palm of one's hand.

Yes, it is definitely out of control, and appears to be going down about a mile northwest of my location.

I will keep you abreast of any further developments, as they become available.

This is Geraldo Guevara, for ANN (the African News Network)signing off.

Are we off the air?

Good, let's get back to the hotel. It's too darned hot and humid here, out on the frontier, and I need a good stiff drink, and a massage. I wonder what you have to do as a tourist in this little flea-bitten country, to get a glass of ice?

What? I thought you said we were off the air?

That didn't get transmitted live did it?!?!?

Man, my editor is going to be livid…..

End transmission…..

Possibly…..

It's the UVB's you need to worry about…..

So does this mean I'll need to cancel that Blackwater contract? Man the Defence Minister is not going to be happy about that.

Rheuters
8/29/08

Bongolesia's President denies any and all involvement in the payment of kickbacks to the U.N. for favorable loan terms for non-existant banks in his nation. He said that "…such accusations are preposterous, and even if they were true, bribery is a fact of life in many countries, but we just do not like to speak of such things openly in my country".

Separately, he also states that "…there is [also] no link to the internet scams being run out of Nigeria, regardless of what the Nigerian ambassador claims". Bongolesia's President states that "…he is just angry since his visa application was denied last month", reportedly since his Cayman Islands accounts have been frozen, and he was unable to come up with the application fee.

Apparently, much of his ill-gotten gains were derived from a convoluted scheme to skim profits from UN food donations to Bongolesia.

It is rumored that he was seeking asylum in Bongolesia, due to a current investigation by authorities in his own country, for his "excesses", and non-payment of income taxes.

ANN (African News Network)
8/29/08

The Chuck Yee Cheese food chain denies purchasing cheese from small 3rd world country nations, on the black market, in order to maximize their profits at their establishments, to the detriment of their customers' and employees' health.

A company spokesman said, "the untimely death of our mascot, Morty, the rat, shortly after he ate one of our cheese pizzas during his lunch break, is just a sad coincidence, and is in no way related to the scandal. Apparently, he was in ill health".

Morty, died at the age of 19, and was not previously known to have any health related issues. His lifelong goal was to star in a sequel to the musical, "Cats".

Play it up for all you're worth, Murph. When it hits the nightly news, you'll have your fifteen minutes.

JW

It's not how good you are- just how rubbish the opposition is!

Explains parlimentry politics as well.

"we are so poor we only live in 15mm huts…"

Humph… when I were a lad, we had to live in 6mm huts. And they weren't hollow neither! None of this namby-pamby "Ooh-lift-off-the-roof-to-see-the-figures" for us! Nope, we lived in solid huts. And they were made of lead, not this airy-fairy tin stuff folks use now. Ahh, younguns these days!

Well I did see the name in an SF exercise once! Honest I thoght that was were Murph got the idea.
VR
James Mattes