| Defiant | 16 Jun 2008 5:43 p.m. PST |
Here are a couple I would like to add:
Perhaps I should not insist on this bold manoeuvre, but it is my style, my way of doing things. – NAPOLEON
War is composed of nothing but accidents…there is but one favourable moment, the great art is to seize it. – NAPOLEON
So, what good one liner's do you guys have?
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| 50 Dylan CDs and an Icepick | 16 Jun 2008 5:51 p.m. PST |
[Blücher, informed that Prussia has surrendered in 1807]: "Over my dead body!" |
| Only Warlock | 16 Jun 2008 5:52 p.m. PST |
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
George S. Patton A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end.
George S. Patton A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
George S. Patton Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.
George S. Patton |
 Extra Crispy  | 16 Jun 2008 5:55 p.m. PST |
Please, anything but a 1. -Me, just prior to rolling a 1. |
| Ooh Rah | 16 Jun 2008 6:22 p.m. PST |
"Nuts!" General Anthony McAuliffe @ Bastogne |
peterx  | 16 Jun 2008 6:25 p.m. PST |
" Unless you get moving at once, I shall come down. Rommel"
Message to a tank commander of a stopped tank company of the DAK in the western desert, dropped into the commander's vehicle by Gen. Rommel flying above in a Storch. |
 Dentatus  | 16 Jun 2008 6:27 p.m. PST |
"They went down well too."
– Duke of Wellington after an aide commented on how well the French forces approached their position. |
| BunkerMonkey | 16 Jun 2008 6:29 p.m. PST |
"They couldn't hit an elephant at that range!" Union General John Sedgwick at the Battle of Spotsylvania prior to being shot dead by a confederate sniper. |
| Repiqueone | 16 Jun 2008 6:48 p.m. PST |
Wrong, it was actually Confederate General Leonidas Polk, who was promptly cut in half by a Union Shell, Who said" They couldn't hit an elephant at this range!" |
| highlandcatfrog | 16 Jun 2008 6:58 p.m. PST |
"Let's take the short cut through the forest." -Varus |
 McKinstry | 16 Jun 2008 6:59 p.m. PST |
"We shall punish the hostiles."
- George Armstrong Custer "I drank what?"
- Socrates "You lose"
- President 'Silent Cal' Coolidge on being told a reporter bet he could make him say three words. |
| Jovian1 | 16 Jun 2008 7:01 p.m. PST |
"I'm sorry, I have neither the facilities nor the manpower to accept your surrender at this time." (I am sure that the phrasing is incorrect) British Officer to the German Commander during Operatio Market Garden. |
| highlandcatfrog | 16 Jun 2008 7:02 p.m. PST |
"There's no need to bring our armor." -Harald Hardrada |
| andygamer | 16 Jun 2008 7:33 p.m. PST |
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? |
| andygamer | 16 Jun 2008 7:35 p.m. PST |
Okay, a real one this time: "Find out what brand he drinks and send a case to all of our generals." (Especially as told by Bob Newhart.) |
 John the OFM | 16 Jun 2008 7:52 p.m. PST |
"Nolan! Nolan! Someone get that cheeky young lad back. Oh, forget it." |
| John the OFM | 16 Jun 2008 8:06 p.m. PST |
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| bandit86 | 16 Jun 2008 8:06 p.m. PST |
Indians? Indians? there are no indians around here.
George Custer. Little big Horn
Ha ha just kidding
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| Daffy Doug | 16 Jun 2008 8:08 p.m. PST |
"Want a bagel Caesar?" "Thanks Brutus, got a knife?" (actually a local Bagelry ad years ago, but it should have gone down that way) |
| SBminisguy | 16 Jun 2008 10:11 p.m. PST |
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it. Elizabeth Braddock: Mr. Churchill, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you madam, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning. You, however, will still be ugly. |
| Richard Baber | 16 Jun 2008 10:16 p.m. PST |
"Sir, my officer would like to congratulate you on the accuracy of your shooting, your guns killed 4 of our men" Un-named traillieur to a French artillery officer in Morocco 1906 |
| sweetwilliam | 17 Jun 2008 12:32 a.m. PST |
On H.M.S. Queen Elizabeth passing R.M.S. Queen Elizabeth in mid atlantic during the Second World war the Captain of H.M.S. Elizabeth sent the following telegram. "Snap". |
| Steve Flanagan | 17 Jun 2008 12:32 a.m. PST |
Did you know that, after his memorable and mournful remark in 1914, "The lamps are going out all over Europe; we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime," British foreign secretary Sir Edward Grey actually did go blind during WW1? |
| Artilleryman | 17 Jun 2008 12:38 a.m. PST |
George the Second on being told that Wolf was mad; 'Then I wish he would bite a few more of my generals!' |
 Wolfshanza | 17 Jun 2008 12:43 a.m. PST |
"Please, anything but a 1. -Me, just prior to rolling a 1." Arghh…I feel your' pain !  |
| Martin Rapier | 17 Jun 2008 12:55 a.m. PST |
"The Sudetenland is the last territorial claim I shall make in Europe." Adolf Hitler. "Anyone who votes Labour should be shot." Bernard Law Montgomery. "An insignificant obstacle." Helmuth von Moltke (on being shown a magnificent view over the River Rhone IIRC) "Giving orders is easy, getting them obeyed is the hard part." George S. Patton |
| weissenwolf | 17 Jun 2008 1:02 a.m. PST |
kaiser ferdinand of austria the son of kaiser franz of the warswith napo was severely limited by up to 20 seizures a day and a bit feebleminded but a generous and kind man. the monarchy was governed by a regency council headed by metternich. when the revolt started brewing in 1847 and metternich told him ferdinand said ''yes but are they allowed to do that?''. most famous was this remark for wanting apricot dumplings and when his cook told him they were out of season he said ''Ich bin der Kaiser und wil knodel'' or I am the kaiser and i want dumplings!'' |
| Kevin F Kiley | 17 Jun 2008 1:19 a.m. PST |
General Savary to Napoleon: 'Do you want to be God?' Napoleon: 'No-it's a dead-end job.' |
| carne68 | 17 Jun 2008 1:54 a.m. PST |
After losing a Presidential election for the 2nd (or maybe 3rd) time, a campaign aide told Adlai Stevenson that he was the "thinking man's candidate." Stevenson replied, "Yes, but unfortunately, I need to win a majority." |
| Tony S | 17 Jun 2008 1:59 a.m. PST |
"The machine gun is a much over rated weapon…"
---Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig, 1915 "…I am all for using aeroplanes and tanks, but they are only accessories to the man and the horse, and I feel that as time goes on you will find just as much use for the horse – the well bred horse – as you ever have in the past."
---Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig, 1925. During the battle of Königgrätz in Austria during the Seven Weeks War of 1866, Austrian General Festetics had his foot ripped off by a wayward Prussian shell fragment. His weeping batman attended to the mangled leg. General Festetics, observing the hysterics, remarked "Look at this hypocrite, whining like a mutt, yet he'll have only one boot to polish from now on." "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
---Marshal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. [During the Albigensian Crusade in 1209] Contemporary accounts say that over 7000 people were slaughtered, locked in the church which was then set on fire. Those who were not burned were put to the sword. During the massacre, one horrified onlooker rushed up to the papal legate, the Abbot of Cireaux, and reminded him that there were Catholics as well as heretics in the burning church. The papal legate then made a remark that has resounded through the centuries. "Kill them all", he said, "God will know his own."
---Malcolm Billings During the First Punic War Consul P. Claudius Pulcher resolved to attack the Carthaginian fleet. He knew enemy reinforcements were en route; therefore he must strike quickly. But before the sea battle commenced he was warned that the omens were unfavourable. The sacred chickens would not eat. The impious and impatient Claudius threw the chickens overboard, remarking "Well, let them drink instead". The Romans were heavily defeated. Before the battle of Thermopylae in Greece in 480 BC, Dienekes, a Spartan hoplite was warned that the enemy Persian army was so enormous that their arrows would blot out the sun. He replied, "So much the better, we shall fight in the shade." …and to sockpuppet myself, these are all from link |
| Supercilius Maximus | 17 Jun 2008 2:47 a.m. PST |
Two from WW2 – apologies for the imperfect citations:- US Navy warship to Royal Navy warship:
"Hello there, how's the second largest navy today?" Royal Navy warship to US Navy warship:
"Fine. How's the second best?" I cannot recall the exact Biblical reference, but a Royal Navy submarine returning to base during WW2 sent a set of chapter and verse numbers to their flotilla commander as a greeting. On looking them up, he found:- "I have outwitted my enemies, the destroyers." |
| advocate | 17 Jun 2008 3:02 a.m. PST |
Sir Charles Napier's one word telegram: "Peccavi" |
| IR1Lothringen | 17 Jun 2008 3:49 a.m. PST |
General Sherman on hearing the song "Marching through Georgia"
"If I had thought my actions would inspire that song I would have gone round the state" |
| terrain sherlock | 17 Jun 2008 4:02 a.m. PST |
May 10, 1775, Colonels Ethan Allen and Benedict Arnold surprised the small British garrison at Fort Ticonderoga.
When Allen demanded the surrender of one of the British officers who had locked himself in a room, the officer asked on whose authority Allen was acting. "In the name of the Great Jehovah and the Continental Congress!" |
| brass1 | 17 Jun 2008 4:04 a.m. PST |
After attending a performance of Beethoven's "Wellington's Victory" in London, the Duke of Wellington was approached by a lady who asked him if the battle of Vittoria had really been like that. The Duke replied "Madam, if it had been I should have run away myself." After the end of the Napoleonic wars, Wellington attended a ball at the British embassy in Vienna. Some French generals, all former followers of Bonaparte, turned their backs on him when he entered the ballroom. When the hostess apologized for the poor manners of her guests, Wellington replied "It is no matter, madam. I have seen their backs before." LT |
| terrain sherlock | 17 Jun 2008 4:05 a.m. PST |
In 1941, the US Marines who defended Wake Island,
when asked what they required, had said "Send us more Japs." |
| mashrewba | 17 Jun 2008 4:06 a.m. PST |
Harold at Hastings "Careful with that bow and arrow -you'll have somebody's eye out in a minute" |
| DalyDR | 17 Jun 2008 4:49 a.m. PST |
Piquetone wrote: '"They couldn't hit an elephant at that range!" Union General John Sedgwick at the Battle of Spotsylvania prior to being shot dead by a confederate sniper.'
Wrong, it was actually Confederate General Leonidas Polk, who was promptly cut in half by a Union Shell, Who said" They couldn't hit an elephant at this range!"'
***Actually it was Sedgwick, it's pretty well documented.
Dave |
| Defiant | 17 Jun 2008 5:00 a.m. PST |
(Talking of the French Imperial Guard and its ranking system compared to that of the Line) "Don't you know that the Guard's donkeys have the rank of mules?" Blaze, La Vie Militaire. |
| Frederick | 17 Jun 2008 5:08 a.m. PST |
Great quotes – John the OFM is totally right, sorry Piquetone, it was "Uncle John" Sedgwick who made that unfortunate comment about the accuracy of Rebel shooting – as to Bishop Polk, interesting story – he was with a group of staff officers on Pine Mountain determining if it could be held – the Confederate infantry holding the position told the officers not to stand up, as the Union batteries had their range – Polk and the officers – including Hardee, who should probably have known better – ignored them and were standing in the open when a Union battery took them under fire. The first shell missed, and although most of the officers promptly took cover Polk for reasons unclear took his time. A second shell also missed, but a third shell passed thru one arm, thru his chest and out the other arm – most unfortunate for General Polk As to quotes, I like Frederick the Great When asked by an old tutor about the possibility of war, he leaned over, "Can you keep a secret?" His old tutor nodded yes. Frederick leaned back. "So can I".
When asked about the value of experience versus talent, he commented "I have a mule who has been in 20 campaigns and he is still a mule"
On taking the high moral ground. "I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right." |
| Defiant | 17 Jun 2008 5:35 a.m. PST |
Napoleon talking to General Rapp before the battle of Borodino… Napoleon :- "Well, Rapp! Do you think that we {will} have a successful day?" General Rapp :- "There is no doubt about {it}, Sire. We have used up all our resourses and have simply got to win". |
| jpattern2 | 17 Jun 2008 5:41 a.m. PST |
Great One Liners of History, Book Title Edition: "The End of History" by Francis Fukuyama, 1992 (based on his 1989 essay of the same title). |
| 1848 1871 | 17 Jun 2008 5:42 a.m. PST |
"Well, this order seems quite proper – but who is General von Moltke?" |
| Defiant | 17 Jun 2008 5:47 a.m. PST |
Not a one liner but funny all the same…
Captain Franz Morgenstern of the 2nd Westphalian Line Regiment describes a scene while awaiting orders on the field of Borodino 1812…
We had already suffered casualties when my senior sergeant, who had seen much action in his past service […] delighted me with his sense of humour when he came up to me and suggested that I order the three flankers next to me to stick out their tongues. This I did and was surprised to see that all their tongues were as white as their uniforms! I at once ordered others to do the same; theirs, too were white. The sergeant assured me that this was the case with all men who were going into action for the first time. Of course, I had to put this to the proof and demanded that he show me his tongue; he obliged immediately – it was lobster-red! Änd your, captain? "he grinned. We will just let that remain a secret, 'I replied. The 'tongue test'spread quickly to neighbouring companies and caused considerable hilarity as they were all white. |
| Man of Few Words | 17 Jun 2008 5:49 a.m. PST |
Not completely in spirit asked but within bounds of other answers:
MG Phil Sheridan, Commander Dept of the West, when asked about tactics that killed Indian women and children, responded, " Kill them all, nits make lice, kill them all". |
| Defiant | 17 Jun 2008 6:02 a.m. PST |
Borodino again, General Montbrun was hit by a cannon ball which passed through his body from one side to the other. Physician Roos, who was among the few who witnessed the scene, watched as Montbrun quickly turned pale and then yellow. His lively look had been extinguished and we saw his strength gradually fail. Still, the General somehow found strength to mutter, 'Excellent shot,'before losing conscience… |
| Defiant | 17 Jun 2008 6:20 a.m. PST |
Battle of Eylau, 1807 Noticing some of his horse grenadiers were ducking shells, Colonel Lepic shouted: "Heads up, by God! Those are bullets – not  s." |
| Altius | 17 Jun 2008 6:31 a.m. PST |
" Kill them all, nits make lice, kill them all"
I thought that was Col. Chivington before the Sand Creek Massacre.
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| andygamer | 17 Jun 2008 6:51 a.m. PST |
The only good Seminoles I ever saw were dead.
Smokeyroan |
| Frederick | 17 Jun 2008 6:57 a.m. PST |
Shane: Lepic's pithy comment is also one of my favourites! "Haut les têtes ! La mitraille n'est pas de la merde!" As to MeroMero's comment, I agree – I thought that John Chivington made this comment- since I work for a university, I need to quote a journal every now and then: "Nits Make Lice: Drogheda, Sand Creek, and the Poetics of Colonial Extermination, Cultural Critique, No. 42 (Spring, 1999), pp. 81-103" By the by, Sand Creek is hardly an example of expertise – Chivington's 800 troopers with artillery support took eight hours to overwhelm 100 Cheyenne warriors in hastily-dug rifle pits and then kill 150 or so old men, women and children |
