So, I finally got on the road Friday afternoon.
I gave up on trying to fit the Orcs in their blasted chariots the night before. There is just not enough room! So I thought I would just throw them in a box and sell them off at a fire sale price. I was sick of looking at them.
I arrived at the con around 4:00 PM, and made an immedaite sale of the Foundry ECW Montrose Scots/Irish army that had been gathering dust for about 10 years. Recycle!
Emboldened, I went down to the Dealer's area. Scott at Pictor's immediately informed me that I had wsted my time coming down, since the Outpost Highwaymen and Bronze Age were all sold out. Friday??? Oh, well…
So, I renewed my OG Army card, picking up an 8th Army Armoured Platoon's worth of tanks and some Marlburian hatmen and command to oppress the peasants with. Also I got the Blue Moon Highwaymen, but I haven't even open the box yet to drool.
Heading back up the aisle, I stopped at Age of Glory to get my Fondry Sedan chairs. Steve suggested we look inside, and one of them had a missing roof. He told me he would order a roof, and to take both with me. He would order a spare, and not charge me for it until it came in.
Dinner at the veranda was a BBQ on a soft roll, with runny Pennsylvania Dutch cole slaw which immediately soaked into the roll. Tasty, but sloppy, and of course the frst of many Yuengling Lagers.
That night I played in Howard Whitehouse's Science vs pluck game, which morphed from 1:300 Sudan to 28mm NW Frontier because "I couldn't find my 1:300 Sudan" figures. I played the native commander of a Sikh battalion with a chip on his shoulder over the British command giving me no respect. My pseudo-Indian accent seems to have changed into a generic "American Trying to Sound Like Johnnie Foreigner" as the night wore on, and more Yuenglings were quaffed. Jeff Wasileski did a bang up job as Colonel MacUnintelligible, the Angry yet endearing hater of all things not Scottish. Patrick Wison, Our Correspondent, wrote up a report which rather fairly held the character of the other players up to strong scrutiny, but I disagree with what he wrote about me! We won, by the way, mainly by shooting down every Wily Johnnie Pathan who showed his sinister face.
The next day, I had a morning flea market, and surpassed my wildest dreams buy seling off more than half of what I brought down.
Trenton's von Knyphausen boys becane PAL/British Grenadier based von Knyphausen and von Ditfurth, and sold. So did a Box O'Goblins, Ospreys, The Orc chariots, More Orcs, Savage ORc Boar Boyz, rules, etc.
Back to the Dealer's aRea where I picked up my Gloire "Under the Black Flag" and Pirates, Old Glory 15s discount card, along with the Humbers that OG/CD don't have, ANZAC 8th Army troops, Paper Terrain's very nice North African village, Pulp Figures rickshaw, and Boxer compatible Chinamen, TVAG's Boxer flags, more Flames of War stuff and decals (I think I have too many Grants and Lees…).
Hey! Somebody makes Micks for the '98! Trent, a new comapny I had never heard of, has a French Revolution era Napoleonic range, very nice, and very reasonabley priced, with a side trio to the '98. One blsiter is availabel, with either 8 0r 10 for $15. USD Wargames of WV carried them.
Nic at Eureka forced me to buy the Turkish mortar set, and harrangued me unmercifully about not buying the harem set. Next time…
Up to find Jim, my Warrior playing buddy, and we grabbed the Hosts brisket or pork dinner. And, an Amstel or two for variety. Tasty.
That night, while waiting for a Check your 6 block to clear, I saw Jeff Wasileski come in hauling his setup for "Teddy Roosevelt on Mars". Change of plans.
Jeff is famous for being the tyrannical Von Schnitzel in Howard's Black Hole of Calcutta Pulp extravaganzas.
He is also one of the best convention GM's it has been my pleasure to play for. He keeps the game rolling, and encourages mass jocularity. His von Schnitzel does not come from thin air…
The scenario had the USA and Germany going to war over the famous Samoa Incident of 188-, in which the fleets sank each other, instead of the typhoon doing it. It is very inconvenient to be at war with someone with no way to get at each other, except for the fleets which are already sunk. Luckily, both had colonies on Mars.
So, off we went! Led by the superannuated GHeneral Crook, who came to Mars for his Health.
I was Wupert Wassendill, the Cwown Pwince of Wuwitania, who the Amewicans had inexpwicabwy chosen as theiw favowite Johnnie Foweignew. Those Amewicans suwe spoke funny!
(Obviously, I was required to play with a Ruritanian accent… I must point out now, the game was All About Me, and I will only report on the incidents I was involved in, except those that caught my interest.)
I had a company of US Marines from the Embassy or something, a unit of women volunteers, atti in a very fetching Aouave outfit, the Volcanic Rifles, the Iron Brigade of Armourr suited men, and a unit of French "Deserters", still 
ed about the Francl Prussian War. This required TWO accents from me! My
comanion", Fifi was also along, but hung out with the Jean Crapauds.)
I stationed the Iwon Bwigade to fiwe some shewws into the twenches, whiwe the Vowcanic Wifwes advanced to assauwt the Mawtian Askawis in them. Meanwhiwe, the Mawines and Wady Zouaves would twy to outfwank then, to be in position ti chawge the Oasis.
So, whiwe I amused the Mawtians and Boche in the middwe of the wine, the Fwench and Amewicans wowked theiw way down thwough covwing tewwain.
Good Heavens!
A band of Mawtians, wed by that wascawwy wenegade Johann Kawtew buwst thwough some hidden cave passages in ouw weaw!
Kawtew tweachouswy swew ouw bewoved Genewaw Cwook!
I became enwaged, and chawged him!
(At this point the Volcanic Rifles got blowed up real good by the combined attention of cannon, Martian Royal Radium Rifles, askari in the trench, etc. The French in their Furor Galloise charged the trench with Fifi. Fifi was unfortunately captured by the dastardly Baron Frankenstein's minions. "Ah, Sweet Mystery of life, at last I've found you!")
So, I fought my way thwough those pesky Mawtians, toe encountew that wascawwy Johan Kawtew, the notowious wenegade.
At the fiwst cwash of sabews, I wecognized a swowdsman at weast my equaw! We backed off and sawuted each othew. I puwged mysewf of my hated and wage, and pwepawed to fight a scientific duew.
He thwust! He hit!
I thwust! I hit!
He saved! I… did not.
And, thus, with me, died the second best swowdsman on aww of Maws.
(So, contrary to his wishes, the American flag was not planted on the noze of the Face of Mars by Teddy Roosevelt, but by the Women's Christian Temperance Union, many of whom were slain in a most dastardly fashion by the cowardly Hun.
And so, I sold a ton of stuff, bought a ton of stuff, and played some good games.
worries about not losing his rules stuff.
