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"Return of the Dread Gazebo" Topic


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1,564 hits since 21 Jun 2007
©1994-2019 Bill Armintrout
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Doctor Bedlam21 Jun 2007 9:56 a.m. PST

GM: The doors open, revealing a great room with a glass ceiling; the room is a great indoor garden, and a path winds through the woods; it's plainly meant to be scenic. As you round a bend, up ahead, in the middle of the forest, you see a round plaza. Off to one side is a hillock. There's a fountain, spraying water. And in the center of the plaza is a gazebo.

Cap'n Woody: I detect evil.

Hobbes: I nock arrows

Dancin' Dwarf: I look around.

Smooth: Is there anything in the room?

GM: There's a whole forest in the room. You don't detect any evil, Cap'n.

Hobbes: I'm making Listen checks, the whole way.

Cap'n Woody: You said there was a gazebo?

Hobbes: A gazebo. Do I hear anything?

GM: You hear the gentle susurrance of the air through the trees. You're indoors so there's not exactly a breeze, but you hear the living forest around you.

Hobbes: Nothing threatening?

GM: Not that you can hear or spot yet.

Cap'n Woody: I go look at the fountain, keeping about a ten foot distance between me and it.

Hobbes: I sweep the surroundings with eye and ear, keeping alert. And I still have those arrows nocked.

Smooth: I go and take a dump in the gazebo.

(pause)

GM, Hobbes, Dancin' Dwarf, and Cap'n Woody: ….what?

Smooth: I go and take a dump in the gazebo.

Hobbes: You poop in the gazebo?

Cap'n Woody: You crap in the gazebo?

Dancin' Dwarf: I turn my back and give him some privacy.

GM: Um… okay.

Hobbes: I keep him covered, in case anything attacks while his pants are down.

Cap'n Woody: I stare openly at him, utterly appalled.

Smooth: Hey! Little privacy here! (to GM) Any toilet paper?

GM: …what?

Smooth: Is there any toilet paper in the gazebo? Dry leaves? Sponge on a stick? Anything?

Dancin' Dwarf: Why didn't you think about that before you pooped in there?

Hobbes: Why would there be toilet paper in a gazebo?

Smooth: So there isn't any?

Cap'n Woody: WHY DID YOU JUST TAKE A CRAP IN A GAZEBO?

Hobbes: Did Woody's outburst draw any reactions from the treeline? I make more Spot and Listen checks.

Smooth: (uncertainly) Um… exactly what do you guys think a gazebo is?

GM: A gazebo is a kind of froofy ornate bandstand kind of thing. There's one in the square, downtown, where they light the Christmas tree every year.

Cap'n Woody: Mom has one in the back yard. You've seen it.

Smooth: …..oh.

Dancin' Dwarf: (grinning) What did YOU think a gazebo was, Smooth?

Smooth: ….um……

GM: You thought a gazebo was a little house with a little moon shape cut out of the door, didn't you?

Smooth: Um…. yeah, kind of.

Cap'n Woody: That would be an outhouse, not a gazebo.

Smooth: Now they tell me.

Dragon: Son?

Hobbes: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

Dragon: Son, pray tell, why did y'all just take a crap in mah gazebo?

PapaSync21 Jun 2007 10:36 a.m. PST

Cap'n Woody: Hey don't look at me. I can't help it if he can't tell the difference between and outhouse and a geazebo. I'm a little constapated myself anyway.

Jakar Nilson21 Jun 2007 10:53 a.m. PST

I'm guessing part of the confusion rests between mixing up a gazebo and a kybo (another term for an outhouse)…

The Gonk21 Jun 2007 12:06 p.m. PST

I say we lynch the green Davenport.

Alxbates21 Jun 2007 12:47 p.m. PST

heh heh heh…

Hundvig Fezian21 Jun 2007 12:53 p.m. PST

"I thought an ecdysiast was a magician!" she cried tearfully…

Doctor Bedlam21 Jun 2007 2:11 p.m. PST

…I've never heard of a Kybo, myself.

RavenscraftCybernetics21 Jun 2007 2:19 p.m. PST

"Back off, Dragon! Im a high powered copromancer and I got the doody to prove it!" (Smooth's last words)

cloudcaptain21 Jun 2007 2:38 p.m. PST

Dragons have aura of non-constapation in a 50 foot radius…

bullant22 Jun 2007 5:30 a.m. PST

A Gazebo? I will attack it with my sword….

Don't blame me. Someone was going to say it eventually.

Kid Kyoto22 Jun 2007 6:35 a.m. PST

Don't worry, he may well have the armoire of invincibility.

arabianknight22 Jun 2007 8:17 a.m. PST

bullant,

LOL, as soon as I saw the word "Gazebo" thats what I thought of as well :-)

Doctor Bedlam22 Jun 2007 10:57 a.m. PST

I'd read the gazebo story in Knights of the Dinner Table. In that same strip, they included the joke about the davenport.

It just… never occurred to me… that this situation had actually HAPPENED.

Until it happened to ME.

And Smooth knew quite well that a gazebo wasn't a monster. He knew it was an architectural construct, non-animate.

He just didn't know what it WAS.

First time his character's taken a crap since his dice first hit the table, and sure enough, he does it in the wrong place…

irishman31 Jul 2007 4:07 p.m. PST

What I really love about this story is the old Southern Dragon.

I say.. I say son…
What in the cotton pickin world are you doin poppin on my gazeebo?

i wonder if he had a seersucker suit on.

zz9resident07 Aug 2007 4:33 a.m. PST

There's a popular Urban Legend where a local politician [insert name of local hero] suggests that the town park would benefit from a gazebo and the opposition [insert local bigwig you dislike] says that the council should buy a pair and breed them.

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