writes:Our esteemed editor sent me several packs of Christmas-themed figures from Amazon. These are not the seasonal figures that you might give your mother to put on the shelf. Rather, they are slightly risqué. Naughty. Pretty darned juvenile, actually. And what's with the guns?
Who Am I, and What Am I Doing Here?
Although widely known as 
Mexican Jack Squint 
, I often go under the 'Howard Whitehouse' monicker, and - among several efforts to pay for the groceries - run a small one-man operation making custom scenery and painting figures. I make no claims to be an artist, and cannot produce the kind of award-winning work I often see on TMP. I can, however, paint quickly to a decent standard at a reasonable price, and that's what my customers seem to want; they keep returning, so it must work for all of us! My friend Patrick Wilson of TVAG named the company "Brushes with Danger", which I like. I live outside New York City, but I have customers from Europe to Australia. You can find me at professorbellbuckle@yahoo.com.
The Figures
I received the following:
SGF01 Santa With Gun, Mother Christmas And Black Pete
SGF02 Sugar Plum Fairy Set
SGF03 Snow Queen Set
SGF04 Fighting Snowmen
SGF05 Bad Kids (6)
SGF07 Naughty Girl Being Spanked By Headmaster
They aren't the finest sculpts in the world, but they have a certain enthusiasm about them, and I like that about them. And, not being the greatest pieces of the miniatures art allowed me to approach them with my usual "slap some paint on them quickly, and touch up the messy bits at the end" method.
First off, here are a few of them prior to priming:
