"Ugliest Or Least Functional Uniforms of All Time?" Topic

Other: I don't really judge military history that way …

But, I do.

Nudity is not exactly a uniform. And it is VERY practical. In fact, right now I am….never mind.

Erm- anything Napoleonic?

Anyone nekkid as as a jaybird in the midst of a fight ain't very protected are they?

Anyone nekkid as as a jaybird in the midst of a fight ain't very protected are they?

True, but they're relying on the principles of Shock and Awe.

Wellington went on parade dressed as Colonel of the Life guards with metal breastplate and tall bearskin. The first good gust of wind blew him right off his horse as he was so top heavy. Needless to say he never wore that uniform again.

My sole vote is the evzone. Those guys look like they could field strip a seltzer bottle in the dark and kill you sixteen different ways with a balloon animal.

Does anyone have a picture of the Central African Empire cuirassiers? Google turned up nothing.

Which of the two questions are we actually meant to answer?

Ugliest? Or least functional?

The two things are quite different.

agreed..Derek..no opinion is the only option to such an ambiguous question

What is the "original Highlander" uniform exactly?

And sorry, servicemembers, but the current US Army combat uniform is, frankly, butt-ugly. So I hope it's at least practical and comfortable. Because it makes you look like alien janitorial staff.

Agree with Derek. For example, I voted Winged Hussars as they are utterly impractical, but visually stunning!

What is the "original Highlander" uniform exactly?

Full belted plaid under the red coat. That's 5ft x 15ft of heavy woollen cloth some how got under a fairly tight fitting coat.

x42

For ugliest uniform, it is hard to go past British WW2 Battledress …

When I was in AIT (Oct-Dec 1968) the US Army was still issuing "OGs". The OG uniform was just a work shirt and pants designed very much like the civilian equivalent except that they were made of heavy olive-green wool, meaning that they itched intolerably and smelled like a wet dog when even slightly damp. They also weren't particularly warm, unless you were indoors. Fortunately (?), the weather at Ft Leonard Wood was so miserable that year that we were ultimately issued actual cold-weather clothing and the OGs were retired.

So, ugly and non-functional. Chalk up another one to Uncle Sam.

LT

Soviet uniforms in Finland during the Winter War for "least functional". You'd think the Russians would have had some idea of how to fight in sub-zero temperatures, since they live in freakin' RUSSIA, but no, apparently they did not.

Yes, that has always made me scratch my head, esp. given what then happened on the Eastern Front a few years later.

Agree that 'ugliest' and 'least functional' are totally unrelated. British WWII battledress was hideously lumpy, frumpy and dumpy, but it wasn't impractical.

Conversely, those post-Napoleonic uniforms must have been hell to wear and worse to keep clean, but they look fantastic.

According to my junior school headmaster, the Argentines lost the Falklands Conflict because they were scruffy cowboys who didn't shave. The British won because they were smart. This was worked into a homily on how important our school uniform was.

Yeah the German unpreparedness in Russia in '41 is baffling. Even if Hitler had been right & it had all been over by winter, an army of occupation needs protection from the weather… Even if Hitler's forecaster's observations based on the motions of comets had been accurate, it would still have been 'a bit cold'…

One vote for Central African Empire cuirassiers because i) its not the 19th century anymore and ii) cuirassiers in Central Africa? Sounds like cruel punishment

Plus a vote for the Life Guards – pretty to look at, impossible to fight in

Naked is not a great option when your opponents are bringing armour to a sword fight

Anything European after the battle of Waterloo. In peacetime, uniforms get fancier and less functional. I often feel that uniforms are designed by people who don't have to wear them.

Some of them may indeed be "ugly" or "least functional", but they sure do paint up nice.

My vote goes for the current US Navy blue camouflage utilities. What the hell were they thinking?

President Nixon's uniforms for the Whitehouse Grds.

Are those uniforms designed so you can't find over boardies?

How about the Greek Guards uniform. a TU-TU with tights and pompoms on the toes.

I dont get that new navy gig either. It looks neither naval no salor-ee. they look like blue marines. go back to a canvas/cotton jumper for everyday wear and dungarees. The boots are a good idea tho, those low quarter shoes are ugly.
also, each and every marching band uniform evuhhhhhh. college, military, highschool, prep school, all of them, they look rediculous.