"Quads, one born dead sadly" Topic

Yup, my eldest Daughter's cat has just given birth to 4 kittens. The daughter is 10, we decided she was old enough to watch the birth, in the event we had no choice – Cat refused to let her leave.

The first one was fine, second was sadly born deformed and dead, anencephalic by the looks of it, third and fourth fine.

Lucy was dreadfully distressed by the death of number two kitten, and I have still not made up my mind if allowing her to be there was entirely wise. She knows about death, but she adores her cat and was looking forward to the kittens very much. I took her outside, talked to her about how the kitten had never been alive really, and told her she needed to be brave for her cat, and go back in without sobbing and wailing. She did so, brave kid.

Opinion – for us city folks death usually is a stranger, or at least an aquaintance that only visits occasionally, and is kept well clear by Doctors, vets, undertakers. Is it healthy for Lucy to have witnessed this death? too young? old enough?

Pat

I think 10 is plenty old enough. Death is a reality, and I believe that our society actually harms kids by sheltering them from it for so long. And incidents like this teach the kids that Nature isn't all warm and fuzzy, which is also a good lesson to learn.

It's one of those facts of life that should be learned early IMO…and 10 is fine (I was 4 when dad had to put down our dog due to severe injuries from the horse). just be sure to talk with her about it to put things into context.

I definitely believe you handled it perfectly.

However, while you've managed to achieve high marks in parenting, thoughtfully reflecting on real life issues has put your #1 ranking as most entertaining poster in jeopardy. I've summoned a stockholder's meeting.

Steve

I agree, sounds like it will end up being a healthy and positive experience for her.

Ten is the right age – and three kittens will soon ease the sting.

I totally agree with the others, you did the right thing. And those little fur balls are so cute – and that coming from me, a dog person…

I agree with all of the above comments. As you pointed out death is very much a stranger to most children, so they do not understand what it is all about. Too many nitwit parents shelter their chidlren from this important part of life. You handled it well. So did your daughter.

I'll continue to make it unanimous. You made the right call.

Good call. Sad as it is she got to see Life and Death at one and the same time. Keep the "door" open for more thoughts she may have on all this as she sorts it out. My girl used to ponder things, sometimes for days, and then pop up with a statement on what she thought about something that happened right out of the blue.

Good Call. Kids are too sheltered these days. At 10, not only could I clean fish & fowl, but small mammals too (started hunting in single digits). I plan on letting my daughter do the same. We've already progressed to picling up worms at age 3, so I think I am on track.
The 3 reamining will help, maybe a small "funeral" will help wth the dead one. I can't help with any of the inevitable questions though, as I was taught cats have no souls . . .

Well done that man!

Cheers,

pro….

The deader was in such a mess I had to bury it immediately… it would not have kept overnight unless I'd stuck the poor little in the freezer. Somehow that would have felt worse than burying it.

They ARE cute, though they are just one more responsibility to add to my list. I suppose if they get troublesome I can just drown them, or advertise in the paper for new homes for them.

The kittens are cute too.

(There you go Schifani, can I have my 'Vicorian Dad' title back now?)

Lucy is taking it well. 'Ginger Mit Freckles Daughter' has once again scored high on the 'This kid is a nutter' scale with some particularly touching, sister-soothing comments like 'Did Bree EAT it dad? can i SEE it dad?' ' Well, dig it UP again then dad!'

Bless her…… I think…..

Pat

Very healthy attitude, really. It's good to wonder what happens to the malformed creatures that don't survive. Not soothing particularly to the one suffering emotional distress, but at least she's not trying to pretend bad things don't happen.

This was a good experience for Lucy in the long run. Now she knows that not all little things survive, no matter how much we wish they could.

"Ginger Mit Freckles" sounds like she has the makings of a biologist.

I would think that you have just made her appreiciate the kittens that are still alive. I am sure that she is distressed about the kitten that was stillborn. I would be concerned if she was not upset. I think you are doing quite well and I am sure she will make you even prouder when she gets older.

arah! dont get me prouder of her than I already am – she is pretty, blonde and brainy too.

Nope, daughter 2 with Kinnock Syndrome is actually quite 'empathic' and 'sympathetic'. She is the one they choose to show the new kids (who usually don't speak any english) where the toilets are, how to get round school etc, 'cos she gets on with anybody. Heartbreakingly as soon as the 'new kid' settles in they avoid her like the plague – you don't need to be able to speak english to tell she is as mad as a pillowcase fill of ocelots.

Pat

Sounds to me as if you've handled this well, and the way you've helped her understand the situation will stay with her always. She knows now that there are times when it's right not to wish life on a little being who isn't born well enough to sustain it and she can enjoy helping the remaining kittens grow up.

Her cat obviously has a strong bond with her, too – that's good.

I help my sister birth her Maine Coon kittens regularly. We know that Death walks into the kittening room at our elbow and we always give thanks when we save all the kittens (which, I'm glad to say, is usually the case). Believe me, although we mourn for the ones who don't make it at birth, it's even harder to lose one which has had a life with us, however short.

Sue K.

Nope, daughter 2 with Kinnock Syndrome is actually quite 'empathic' and 'sympathetic'. She is the one they choose to show the new kids (who usually don't speak any english) where the toilets are, how to get round school etc, 'cos she gets on with anybody. Heartbreakingly as soon as the 'new kid' settles in they avoid her like the plague – you don't need to be able to speak english to tell she is as mad as a pillowcase fill of ocelots.

Hmm, is this the same Pat as 'Sane Max' or has the bug struck?

I haven't heard of Kinnock's Syndrome before, but with 2 kids with disabilities I can appreciate that heartbreaking probably doesn't even come close to how you feel.

Chthonic regards

B

What is a) anencephalic and b) Kinnock's syndrome?

My daughter's watching her beloved great-grandfather steadily going down hill at 7. Which is pretty rough. But death doesn't intervene at convenient times does it?

Anencephalic is my best guess – I come from a medical family and heard these sortsa words across the dinner table from birth. The kitten had virtually no skull, the brain was partially exposed and there was very little of it, and (i was not peering in for long, a glance was enough) did not seem to be attached to much.

A medic may be able to correct me.

Kinnock Syndrome should be familiar to you Coopersteve – surely you remember Neil Kinnock? Daughter 2 looks like the best PM Britain never had, but in a dress and without the welsh accent.

Pat

Relax, guys, all this means is that McDonald's got a bid free contract to supply meals. Another case of the GOP helping their contributors. It's "Super-size Me" as a political weapon!

4200 calories is just two Quarter pounders with cheese for lunch, two big Macs for dinner, each with two large fries, and two shakes, and a Big Breakfast each day! Cheap! And Deadly!

The world will not approve of death by Value Meal!

Damn good point CooperSteve……. Bug Ahoy!

Pat

Bree knew what she was doing when she had y'all around.

You did well.

Very well.

Your kittens will have absurdly high standards for their future humans to live up to.

Cindy,
Proud to be owned by Gwen and Sinatra