 javelin98  | 27 Mar 2018 8:00 p.m. PST |
My dad passed away this morning after a three-year cohabitation with cancer. It wasn't a "battle" with cancer; there was never a question of which side would win in the end, but neither did my dad make it a battle. Rather than ruin his remaining health with toxic chemotherapy and radiation, he decided to let things take their course and live out his life to its fullest. In the end, he was able to survive far longer than the docs had given him and was highly functional until the past month or two. My dad was an extraordinary man. He didn't send rockets to Mars or cure a horrible disease or write an opera or win on American Idol or do many of the other attention-getting things that our society celebrates. In many ways, he succeeded in many ways that most of us wish we could: he overcame his limitations and challenges and left this world a little bit better for his having been here. He was a good dad, which is amazing considering his beginnings. His own father was murdered when he was just five, and his mother didn't care much for him. Consequently, he grew up on the streets and got in trouble a lot, dropped out of middle school, rode the rails like a teenage hobo. He was hungry all through his youth, abused, mistreated, and denied the love that every child needs and deserves. And yet, for all that, he loved people and he went out of his way to do nice things. He would have had every psycho-social excuse for beating his kids, drinking heavily, and being a ne'er-do-well, but he didn't, and that's why he was extraordinary: he took that deficit of love and affection that he experienced as a child and turned it into an abundant surplus, which he showered on us as kids and on the world in general. Even though my folks never had much money, we always had fun. We would invite over dozens of neighbors on the 4th of July and everyone would pool their fireworks together, resulting in a huge fireworks display that went on for hours. They would bundle me and my sister up into our old Blazer and drive us to Seattle on a whim for a weekend spent enjoying life. He would wake me up for school by tickling me until I nearly wet myself and then he would make me cream of wheat cereal with brown sugar. He did the best he could to provide for us, and he always had some kind of entrepreneurial venture going on, even while driving a truck or selling decals and greeting cards. From small restaurants to catering businesses, he always had a side gig. He never finished 8th grade and he wasn't great with managing the numbers, but he was always trying and he had an intrinsic knack for how to deal with people. For all his streetwise ways and bravado, he had a tender heart, and he wrote poetry and short stories and painted oils and did all sorts of other things that were just amazing. I still can't fathom how a little boy who was so badly treated grew to be so generous, kind, and loving to everyone he met. He was always kind to children and animals. He knew everyone's name and so many, many people knew him and remembered him fondly. I can't tell you the number of times when someone will ask me if I'm Ande's son. Yes. Yes, I am. Thank God, I am. link |
| Coelacanth | 27 Mar 2018 8:10 p.m. PST |
Thank you for sharing his story. May he rest in peace. Sincere condolences to you & your family. Ron |
| Cacique Caribe | 27 Mar 2018 8:12 p.m. PST |
So sorry to hear that. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. Dan |
 Editor in Chief Bill   | 27 Mar 2018 10:43 p.m. PST |
You were so lucky to have had him as your father. |
| Blake Walker | 28 Mar 2018 1:54 a.m. PST |
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| zoneofcontrol | 28 Mar 2018 4:33 a.m. PST |
"He was a good dad, which is amazing considering his beginnings." Your statement reminded me of my kids and their love of all things Harry Potter. They drew me into their Potterhead world and I always liked the following line from one of the films: "It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices." – Dumbledore (Richard Harris) It sounds like your father made a lot of right "choices".
Sorry for your loss but happy for the time you did have together. |
| princeman | 28 Mar 2018 5:44 a.m. PST |
What a wonderful tribute to your father. Bless you and his spirit that will live on long past his years. |
| cfuzwuz | 28 Mar 2018 7:44 a.m. PST |
Sounds like a great guy. Sorry for your loss. |
| Micman | 28 Mar 2018 8:22 a.m. PST |
He sounds like a wonder man and father. I am sorry for your loss. |
| mad monkey 1 | 28 Mar 2018 9:31 a.m. PST |
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| Shagnasty | 28 Mar 2018 10:26 a.m. PST |
Please accept my condolences. |
 Tacitus | 28 Mar 2018 10:47 a.m. PST |
I am very sorry for your loss. You are part of his legacy. |
 Parzival | 28 Mar 2018 10:51 a.m. PST |
A more beautiful obituary could not be written. You had a wonderful father, and I am certain he was proud as could be of you. Love changes the world in all the ways that really matter. My condolences and prayers for you and your family. |
| goragrad | 28 Mar 2018 11:57 a.m. PST |
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| Ed Mohrmann | 28 Mar 2018 1:26 p.m. PST |
His photo looks just like the man you described through
his deeds – one heckuva guy !
Sincere condolences on your loss. |
| Gunfreak | 28 Mar 2018 2:16 p.m. PST |
I can only second parzival's sentiments
And give you my heartfelt condolences. |
| genew49 | 28 Mar 2018 2:56 p.m. PST |
Your dad sounds like he was a first rate guy, someone any of us would be honored to have been friends with. Our condolences to you and your family. |
 Saber6 | 29 Mar 2018 6:06 p.m. PST |
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| charared | 30 Mar 2018 3:50 a.m. PST |
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| tkdguy | 30 Mar 2018 4:42 p.m. PST |
So sorry to hear that, javelin98. Best wishes and prayers to the whole family. |
| Dn Jackson | 02 Apr 2018 3:54 a.m. PST |
Sounds like a great guy. My condolences. |
| Mithmee | 02 Apr 2018 11:37 a.m. PST |
Fantastic life story and we know that he is Resting is Peace now. |
| Bismarck | 07 Apr 2018 10:08 a.m. PST |
I am so sorry for your loss. Beautifully written tribute to a fine man. My condolences and prayers for you and your family. |
