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"You know you're a [Royal] Marine" Topic


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579 hits since 5 Jan 2016
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Last Hussar05 Jan 2016 3:48 p.m. PST

From here
link

You use target indication to point out hot chicks You use the term ‘chicks' You insist on dancing like an idiot while your civvy mates insist on trying to dance ‘properly' Your civvy mates don't understand any of the terminology you use such as ‘no dramas' ‘squared away' ‘take a knee' ‘get the wets on' etc…… You answer the phone with ‘send and cant help saying ‘roger' ‘say again' and other snappy bits of VP You use acronyms thinking your civvy mates will understand what your talking about You don't have any civvy mates You cringe and mutter under your breath ‘haircut' when you see men with long hair You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your girlfriend You refer to personal organisation as ‘admin' You naturally get into step when walking with anyone then publicly slag yourself off whilst spending the rest of the journey conciously trying not to do it again Your girlfriend is stored into your mobile phone address book as ‘Zero Alpha' You use patrol hand signals in a night club if people can't hear you You always use the 24hr clock……. You make out that your mega threaders with your civvy mates when they ask you to wear your lovets or blues to his/her wedding but secretly inside you know your going to love the attention and spend days getting your rig ready Nothing Marines do shocks you any more…. You can't watch war movies without a running commentary You feel guilty about wearing jeans in front of senior officers in the mess The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for ‘enemy depth' You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you've worn all week is perfectly acceptable You'd rather walk 4 miles out of your way around the outside of a camp rather than 10 metres across it if it meant passing an officer and having to salute him/her All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because your incapable of cooking anything that can't be boiled in a bag or eaten cold You lie when people ask you what you do for a living When you leave your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, it has to be repeated When surveying open ground (when not looking for indepth enemy positions) you imagine the best place to set up an OP. If a forestry block- the best route to get a section in You survey open ground When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with ‘reference bushy topped tree etc..' Your girlfriend has started saying ‘admin' asking if you'd like ‘a wet' and gave you the ‘chop' when telling you to put the bin out Your family knows when your threaders and what it means When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has….. Worse still if its a venue you haven't been to before you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR in order that you are definitely 5 minutes early You subconsiously red-pen everything you read You have ‘Life On The Ocean Wave' as your mobile ring tone You have the globe and laurel as your screen saver It annoyed you that I didn't put a capital G & L in the previous line You have an all year round tan that runs from your hands to mid-arms and makes a nice V on your chest

tigrifsgt05 Jan 2016 4:58 p.m. PST

Hooyah

Buff Orpington Inactive Member06 Jan 2016 3:56 a.m. PST

When co-located with an RAF unit who are having a parade you look smarter in your working rig than they do in best blue.

I know, I was one of those airmen.

Personal logo Private Matter Supporting Member of TMP06 Jan 2016 5:55 a.m. PST

Amen

willthepiper06 Jan 2016 10:49 a.m. PST

Holy wall o' text, Batman!

Funny stuff but a bit easier to read this way (I just added line breaks; spelling left as in the OP):

• You use target indication to point out hot chicks
• You use the term ‘chicks'
• You insist on dancing like an idiot while your civvy mates insist on trying to dance ‘properly'
• Your civvy mates don't understand any of the terminology you use such as ‘no dramas' ‘squared away' ‘take a knee' ‘get the wets on' etc……
• You answer the phone with ‘send and cant help saying ‘roger' ‘say again' and other snappy bits of VP
• You use acronyms thinking your civvy mates will understand what your talking about
• You don't have any civvy mates
• You cringe and mutter under your breath ‘haircut' when you see men with long hair
• You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your girlfriend
• You refer to personal organisation as ‘admin'
• You naturally get into step when walking with anyone then publicly slag yourself off whilst spending the rest of the journey conciously trying not to do it again
• Your girlfriend is stored into your mobile phone address book as ‘Zero Alpha'
• You use patrol hand signals in a night club if people can't hear you
• You always use the 24hr clock…….
• You make out that your mega threaders with your civvy mates when they ask you to wear your lovets or blues to his/her wedding but secretly inside you know your going to love the attention and spend days getting your rig ready
• Nothing Marines do shocks you any more….
• You can't watch war movies without a running commentary
• You feel guilty about wearing jeans in front of senior officers in the mess The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for ‘enemy depth'
• You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you've worn all week is perfectly acceptable
• You'd rather walk 4 miles out of your way around the outside of a camp rather than 10 metres across it if it meant passing an officer and having to salute him/her
• All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because your incapable of cooking anything that can't be boiled in a bag or eaten cold
• You lie when people ask you what you do for a living
• When you leave your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, it has to be repeated
• When surveying open ground (when not looking for indepth enemy positions) you imagine the best place to set up an OP. If a forestry block- the best route to get a section in
• You survey open ground
• When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with ‘reference bushy topped tree etc..'
• Your girlfriend has started saying ‘admin' asking if you'd like ‘a wet' and gave you the ‘chop' when telling you to put the bin out
• Your family knows when your threaders and what it means
• When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has…..
• Worse still if its a venue you haven't been to before you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR in order that you are definitely 5 minutes early
• You subconsiously red-pen everything you read
• You have ‘Life On The Ocean Wave' as your mobile ring tone
• You have the globe and laurel as your screen saver
• It annoyed you that I didn't put a capital G & L in the previous line
• You have an all year round tan that runs from your hands to mid-arms and makes a nice V on your chest

Terrement Supporting Member of TMP06 Jan 2016 12:03 p.m. PST

Not a Marine, Royal or otherwise, but am a vet. A good number applied to me as well.

JJ

Bismarck07 Jan 2016 11:50 a.m. PST

Hands across the sea, my British brothers! :-)
similar to your rebellious cousins even decades past.

Per mare per terram.

Last Hussar07 Jan 2016 1:47 p.m. PST

Of course REAL marines have 'Royal' in their name wink

Bismarck08 Jan 2016 11:36 a.m. PST

and now the fist fight begins! LOL :-)

Last Hussar08 Jan 2016 12:27 p.m. PST

Why – did the Para's turn up?

Bismarck08 Jan 2016 2:49 p.m. PST

Laughing again…the USMC to my knowledge has never been referred to as royal. but your last comment has rung true here in the US more than a few times. Guess inter-service rivalry is common among you stiff upper lip Englishmen as well!

Best Regards,

Sam

Last Hussar09 Jan 2016 7:55 a.m. PST

Best way to end a war.

Put the Brigade of Royal Marines on one side of the enemy.

Put the Parachute Regiment on the other side.

Tell the 'Cabbage hats' the Paras said they are too soft to get them.

Tell the Paras the same thing about the Marines.

Enemy destroyed as collateral damage as they try to get at each other.

Bismarck09 Jan 2016 9:08 a.m. PST

That's hilarious and would work without a doubt.
Now we must be careful and well aware of our surroundings
since we have probably offended all the TMP folks who ever wore jump wings!

I have an old friend who served in the 82nd..we still
talk trash to each other.

Last Hussar09 Jan 2016 4:16 p.m. PST

When I was at Uni in Plymouth (home of 42 cdo) the 80's I fenced with a guy who was a Engineer. He had undertaken both jump training (so he could go in with the Para's) and Marine training, so he could do beach obstacles. His life expectancy in war was 20 minutes.

We were going to a competition and were giving a lift to two other fencers, both students like myself, and both young and female, and we had already decided on the division of labour (ahem) as it were…

Anyway they get in the back, and 'his' one sees the newly minted green beret on the seat, moves it out the way, and says "What's this hat"…

And he still went on to live with her!

tberry7403 Inactive Member31 Jan 2016 5:56 p.m. PST

And he still went on to live with her!

notes The things we do for love. notes

TunnelRat Supporting Member of TMP11 Oct 2016 2:28 a.m. PST

As Terrement said, a lot of the list apply to all vets.

Hats off to all who have served their country!

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