"If wargames rules were based on movies." Topic

Shields are used for balance, preferably held behind you.

Any troops in armor that fight in formation are doomed. They are always bested by smaller numbers who can leap over the formation and whack them with milk stools.

Any soldier taking cover on a castle wall is arrow bait. +2 to hit.

Helmets are useless.

Well, The Sword and the Flame does its best to emulate the movies.

Go find your self a copy of Panzer Pranks. You will not regret it.

Armor is useless, a bronse sword will go right through a bronce plate armor.

Medieval battles never had any strategi, it was always the side with the best sword hacking skills that won, so sword armed tropps +54

British suck at musketfire, -15 to all redcoats with muskets.

Tanks blow up at the sight of aircraft.

Well, the movies rarely have their armies wearing armor.
They are usually dressed in leather. So, I guess the rules should make leather shoulder pads a +3 on defense.

There is no defense against a man with two swords. A single warrior so armed can always beat a testudo.

Snipers are excellent shots unless they are shooting at the main character.

Robin Hood can hit a moving target, in the throat, with a wet bow and arrow, at a distance of 2 miles, in the dark, while running.

A man riding a motorcycle, shooting a machine pistol, will hit his target 99% of the time while his stationary targets firing similar weapons will miss 99% of the time.

Female characters are only allowed to be armed with bow and arrow, or pistol. No other weapons are permitted.

I am spartacus !

Huge swarms of men running full speed at the enemy gain +3 DRM.

Just blow them up, no matter what the period (Michael Bay rule).

I wish movies would emulate games more…
"Oops! 007 rolled boxcars… that means he botched the jump and fell straight into the vat of liquid nitrogen…"
"Now introducing… Agent 008!"

If movies emulated games more..
Characters would be falling down stairs and off their horses a LOT!

I wanna see that version of Braveheart… thud! thud! thud!

We had a halfling thief killed by a door once – critical fail on acrobatic kick roll against "stuck" door, bad table roll for critical fail event led to two more events, one high damage, the second two more, two more high damage events later and the character was killed – love to see that in a film.

If movies emulated games more..

Everyone would move several paces in turn, then stop.

Spears are worthless.
Untrained amateurs are always better warriors than professionals.
Nobody ever deploys scouts – ambushes always work perfectly.
Automatic weapons fired by anyone other than a hero have a .0005% chance of hitting anyone – always a flunky
Cavalry merely makes a bigger target – being on a horse is a temporary measure for any warrior.

Hard to emulate in a ruleset the actions of Diver Derrick, Richard Winters or Audey Murphy

Ancient battles were decided by the use of heavy artillery firing high explosive fireballs at unprotected troops in the open. Troops lacking artillery can still push high explosive fireballs at the enemy which is always considered to be positioned downhill from such an attack.

Formations are only used for prebattle showboating and moving to your starting line once the battle is on forces in melee should be homogenically mixed so everyone can duel somebody else, except for heroes who can teleport to any spot in the battle.

Charges are initiated from your starting line galloping full speed all the way to the enemy positions. Cavalry are only good for one charge, after that your horse is just a convenient way of hacking left and right without having to walk.

Foot troops armed with a dagger get a +3 on their attacks vs mounted knights. They do not suffer penalties for the height difference since they can always jump over the horse and dismount the knight.

Troops wearing helmets do not get a bonus, troops not wearing a helmet are upgraded to "Actor" status and do not suffer audience confusion because the headgear makes it hard to recognize them.

M47 Tiger tanks come with T34 running gears and tracks. German M3 Halftracks have bevelled sides, and can be armed with either the German Vickers, the German M1919 the Mexican MG34 or the French MG42 . All German tanks are standard panzer grey. Tanks in museums today are just inaccurate replica's poorly converted to look like their screen counterparts.

The M24 Sherman runs on gasoline and explodes whenever hit, German tanks run on Diesel fuel and are immune to fire.

Cavalry shot at will have about 99% human casualties and 1% horses, though horse casualties are considered "walking wounded"

The first shot always misses and hits the wall just as two main characters are talking, thereby initiating the first round of combat.

"The M24 Sherman runs on gasoline and explodes whenever hit, German tanks run on Diesel fuel and are immune to fire. "

This is a rule in wargames.

Bad guys get minus 7 on shooting (on a D6). If in doubt, it is easy to spot the bad guys. They outnumber the good guys 100 – 1 (and their objective is to blow up the world).

Ancients battles were won by pyrotechnics (Gladiator & King Arthur spring to mind), but the Lord of the Rings uses trebuchets to throw rocks.

Heroes can only be shot or stabbed in either the left shoulder or the right leg. This produces no other effect than a temporary limp, and otherwise only makes them better at combat and more attractive to the opposite sex.

Bad guys, when encountering a hero, must stop in the middle of the battle to explain how they will triumph. Heroes must stop and listen, long enough to quote a pithy line and/or express defiance. All others in the fight ignore both of them while they stand there and yammer.

Extras die as flies. Heroes save on a 1+. There is NEVER a Reload Rule.

I love wargames rules based on movies. GASLIGHT and Astounding Tales are two of my favourites!

All Spy or Action Hero rules will have those being pursued by someone on a Motorcycle in automatic 'abject terror' of the Motorcycle rider, rather than stopping dead and/or running them off the road.

Unless the Hero is on said Motorcycle when an 18 Wheeler and a role of 11 on a D10 is required to inflict any kind of damage whatsoever.

EVERYTHING would be considered Extremely Hard Cover.

Everybody would buy US armies, because they would always win, no matter what.