"Crap endings I would change" Topic

Other than the ending, Lady Hawke was a very fun, satisfying film. I was just listening to the Alan Parsons sound track today and thinking of all the funny, exciting, eye candy scenes that it has: then we got to the end, after Markay dies (not a bad "best death scene" nominee, that); and the whole thing grinds to an embarrassing halt. After Philippe the Mouse says to Imperious, "I'll get in Father if I have to pick the lock", and they jostle to get out the doorway at the same time, we have NOTHING. Eew, one of the worst ended films, EVER.

If I had my way, modern tech would allow the buyer to create his own ending: and I would have Philippe the Mouse and Imperious dashing out of the way to save themselves as "Goliath" charges through the doorway with Navarre and Isabeau on board, the girl in a perfect "Flashman at the Charge" pose across his lap with Navarre's hand on her butt, and she's screaming: "Navarre you maniac let me down!" and laughing in spite of herself. And the camera follows them across the drawbridge and out over the meadow toward the mountains, getting smaller. Now that ending beats the snot outta the one we have had to put up with all these years. I just stop the movie after Philippe's cute last line.

What movies do you also like, except for the ending? And how would you edit a "viewer's choice" ending so that you liked it?

The rest of the movie aside, we need to NOT hear the name or fate of the second child at the end of Star Wars Episode III.

I would change the ending of "It's a Wonderful Life", but it's already been done:
link

The ending of Mr. Smith Goes To Washington always bugs me… it feels like it snips off too quick… I want to see Jimmy Stewart wake up and find the girl at his side and realize he won his fight.

I'd change a whole lotta horror movies so that the monsters win.

Interesting, KT. The main thing I would change with Lady Hawke" would be the Alan Parsons soundtrack. Don't dislike the music, particularly, but it doesn't fit with the film.

The soundtrack works for me. But then I actively like Alan Parsons. Later "Knight's Tale" took modern music to medieval settings to an extreme: still worked, because they went campy with it. Truly a case of YMMV, and it does.

In all of the Harry Potter movies, he survives. I would change that, starting with the first.

If I could remake "King Arthur", the Saxons would win.

Oh, wait…

Gladiator

- Maximus survives – we get a sequel

or

-Commodus survives we get a sequel

Aliens. Hicks, Bishop and Newt all survive rather than be an afterthought and waxed in Alien's 3.

The Hex Series --

mjc

Return of the Jedi, change "Ewok" to "Wookie"

Aliens. Hicks, Bishop and Newt all survive rather than be an afterthought and waxed in Alien's 3.

That's not changing the ending of Aliens so much as changing the beginning of Alien 3, though.

I quite liked the modern Dawn of the Dead (is that the right one? The one in the shopping mall), except for the stupid post-credits ending. Lose that.

And reinstate the original ending of the recent I Am Legend.

The end of 'Citizen Kane' – splice in the ending of 'The Caine Mutiny' and Vice-versa

Star Wars Ep iv – Luke misses and the rebels all die, teaching kids a valuable life-lesson about trusting old tramps who wake you up, aching all over, from unconsiousness. *

The end of Breaker Morant – Mr Three-wooden-heads is let off, as he is so cool, and the s deserved what they got.

*My fave chat up line.
'Hi.(hands girl a drink) Can i ask you a question?'

'giggle, giggle, sure, like, i guess?'

'If you woke up with no recollection of the previous evening, but your body told you for certain that you had been ed in every conceiveable hole, buit you had no way of knowing what had happened, would you tell anyone?'

'Giggle, giggle, no!?!'

'Drink up'

Pat

Too many movies these days have endings that make you decide what happened. This is a real crock. If you are going to make a movie, it should have a beginning, middle and and. PERIOD.

The Wrestler for instance, had a great story. But at the end, it just fades to black. So, did he die or did he live? Does he finally get true happiness or not? Great movie. Cop out garbage ending. Apply your favorite non-ending movies here…

In Bruges – does he die or what?

Pat

The last version of the Planet of the Apes

I absolutely hated the ending of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. Unconvincing, illogical, heartless, stupid.They pretty much managed to ruin the whole thing.

Andrew

In Bruges

Yet another! Yeah. He dies…or not..

I never liked the ending of Big Jake. His life-long Indian friend and his DOG both give their lives to save his grandson and wipe out the bad guys, and Jake and his sons just mount up and ride off as if their bodies aren't lying bleeding on the cold, hard ground. Heartless, I say!…

Battlestar galactia …ending was horrid
Planes , trains and automobiles …after all that the ending was just blah .

I'd change the "The Ninth Gate" for sure. That movie had me on the edge of my seat, I was totally absorbed into the seedy world of rare book dealers, with some interesting occult overtones.

And then the end… I'm still not sure why it bugs me so much.

I'd also redo Matrix 3. Has anyone ever redone a sequel, leaving earlier films, because it sucked so bad?

Agree with the Aliens ending and wouldn't have continued the series the way it went.

Agree with Big Jake. The dog should be injured but not dead.

Agree with the remake of Planet of the Apes. With the total uncertainty of blasting back into the time-space continuum, and given his rock star status and really hot babe there in the future, I'd have stayed.

Agree with Dawn of the Dead remake (Ving Rhames). Why they'd go ashore in the blind without covering their six and exploring the island fro a distance first is lunacy and unsatisfying.

Once Upon a Time in the West. One smell of the sweaty railroad workers, and Claudia Cardinalle is on her horse following Bronson out of town.

Brahm Stoker's Dracula – not only change the ending, but the whole freaking movie. It ISN'T a love story. Do the book.

Same with Van Helsing. Wanted a serious handling of it, not a cartoon.

King Kong. Foggy, so aircraft never get into the air. Ape and girlfriend make their way back to waterfront in the fog using ape's sense of smell. Get back aboard steamer and with the help of the crew and boyfriend, slip away surreptitiously and under the cover of darkness.

Young Guns II. I was happy with the explanations for the remaining characters at the end of YG I: Doc and his celestial bride move to SF, found "celestial seasons tea" company. Chavez e Chavez escapes, finds a bride and restarts his tribe. They move to Cleveland and become the Cleveland Indians. Or something like that. If they wanted to extend the story and include Brushy Bill in it, they should have included Rudebaugh and some other NEW folks, but left the ones who had an ending in the last one stay out of it.

True Grit. The annoying little brat dies form the rattlesnake bites she received. Even sooner would have been better.

Invaders from Mars, and the remake, cleverly titled Invaders from Mars. The endless loop has never been a satisfactory ending.

Lair of the White Worm. Went for "clever" but logically inconsistent.

I'm sure there are many, many more.

I'd also redo Matrix 3. Has anyone ever redone a sequel, leaving earlier films, because it sucked so bad?

Highlander III springs to mind- it was made as if Highlander II had never happened… That said, III wasn't particularly good either, but better than II.

To return to the original question- any change in Star Wars that eliminates Jar-Jar Binx would be good.

To return to the original question- any change in Star Wars that eliminates Jar-Jar Binx would be good.

You've heard about the "alternate alternate" ending to Episode 6, right? The entire saga plays out, tragedy and triumph hand in hand, and as Darth Vader burns and the last ghosts of the Order appear over the pyre, the scene returns to the first meeting of Qui-Gon Jin and Jar Jar in the jungles of Naboo. Qui-Gon, awakening from a sudden precognitive flash that encompasses all six movies, whips out the lightsaber and cuts down the hapless aquatic clown, hopefully averting all that he enables.

Hannibal – I'd end it as the book ended. Hannibal Lector and Clarice go off together an continue the formers dietory habits….

Brahm Stoker's Dracula – not only change the ending, but the whole freaking movie. It ISN'T a love story. Do the book.

Unfortunately, he does follow the book pretty closely, I listened to the BBC radio play the other week.

Hmmm…I'm not sure I agree there 138SquadronRAF. There's no love story in Dracula, period. He's an evil being who goes after Mina out of malice, nothing more. The way Coppola made him look, like some lost soul and a tragic figure, is ridiculous. Dracula is pure evil. Not to mention the whole beginning is not even part of the book.

My choice would be Dune. While the whole movie pretty much sucks, the ending (when it starts raining on Arrakis) is by far the worst part of the movie. Did someone even bother to actually read the damn book? They really didn't get it, at all.

"Did someone even bother to actually read the damn book?"

OK, now you're just being silly.

The Descent: Kill the last few minutes.

The Reaping: Again, kill the last few minutes.

Dark City: Pretty much the whole thing needs re-cut. That movie would have been much better if the city had been on Earth and the baddies had been a cabal of evil mages.

BSG (the new series): The Galactica and the rag-tag fleet arrive in the Sol system with the Cylons in hot pursuit. The screen says: "Sol System: March 3rd, 2357." A lone frigate from the Terran Imperial Navy intervenes, destroying all invading craft in a matter of seconds. As it turns out, after years of being probed by the greys, the humans of Earth have become militant xenophobic isolationists.

Suicide Kings: This one is very easy since the best ending was already filmed and is in the 'extras' (the one where Dennis Leary's character shoots the boat).

I love DVDs with alternate endings! The industry needs to do more of that. This one for instance was a hoot: imdb.com/title/tt0400525

The patriot

Gibson should have been captured, drawn and quarterd in london, and then just before he got his head cut of, he should have cried FREEEEEEEEDOOOOM.

It would have been very original and nobody would have expected it.

We Were soldiers

Gibson should have been captured, drawn and quarterd. then right before he got his head cut of he would cry FREEEEEDOOOOM!!! Naturaly buy the British that were actualy running the North Vietnamise army.

What Women want

Gibson should have been captured by Helen Hunt drawn, quarterd and then right before he got his head cut of, he would cry FREEEEDOOOOM!
At which point Helen hunt would reveal her British accent

LOL!

You are forgetting the Passion of the Christ. Just before the Centurion jabs him in the side of what's left of his body with the spear he should cry FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOM!, at which point the Jews should all start hunting foxes with dogs and drinking Pimms.

(does anyone remember when he was planning on making the Maccabbees into a movie? someone brilliant* pointed out the plot was EXACTLY the same as Braveheart ALREADY, but with more Elephants and pigs, and fewer hot chicks and dental amalgam.)

*me

Pat

Actually, the list is far too long to bother writing. You would do well to ask for "Films which had the best ending".

Most of the Science Fiction "disaster" films have crap endings.

By the way, was not "Freedom" and brand name of a sanitary napkin?

Cheers,

They did do 'The Sound of Music' with a happy ending.

The Nazis catch them.

Aliens III, just rip the whole thing up, and use the far superior William Gibson script instead.

I like Ladyhawk, I wouldn't change anything with it.

Leonardo Di Caprio's death scene in Blood Diamond.
Talking to his girlfriend on a cell phone? Get outta town.
He dies alone, unloved, fate unknown.

The ending of The remade version of Last of the Mohicans.

No. The older sister was in love with the young Indian. When he is killed, she throws herself off the cliff.
The younger sister had become catatonic as a result of her experiences and had no concept of what was happening.

I think I'm the only one in the entire world who hated this movie. It's only redeeming feature is at the beginning when they kill the stag and the Indian thanks it for sacrificing itself so that his people can live.

Aliens: It's a totally relentless killing machine, but just sits there as Ripley sucks it out through the vapor lock; although, her strip scene can stay.

JW

I agree with your assessment of Last of the Mohicans. There has never been a decent movie of the book plot. I did like the fightin' though, that was well-done….

And the music, Michael Manns version got fantatic music.

Not a movie, but I HATE the end of 3rd rock from the sun.
I love the series, but the end was just so sad and I didn't like it.

I gotta chime in on Ladyhawke. I REALLY have to be in the right mood to watch it, or I won't be able to stand the sound track.

One of the dumbest endings ever was "North By Northwest." Better to have her slip from her grasp and plummet to a horrible splattery death, and he's forever gripped with paralyzing terror whenever he even thinks of heights, thus making him incapable of carrying out his duties.

…oh, wait…

How did 3rd rock end?

Spoiler!!!!!

They all went home, leaving Marry alone.

It kinda made the whole 6 years not that important, I would much more have liked if they took marry with them, or better yet, stayed on earth