"Drafting Guys Over 60" Topic

My brother forwarded this to me tonite. I know that there are more than just a few vets among our numbers so I thought you may get a snort or two out of it…
Drafting Guys over 60: this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier.

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some scumbag that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB….
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million ed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
How about recruiting Women over 50….with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol….we will have it secured the first night!
Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Sorry about the above "bleep"! I went thru and thought I edited out all the bad stuff. I guess I missed one.

I'm only 55 but I would join up !!!! I'm already deaf so put me in the Artillery !!!!!!!!!!!

I would go if they let me….

I'd go back in, now, but I don't meet either age requirements, being 45.

Matt

While packing for their honeymoon cruise . . .

80-year old husband to his 20-year old bride: "Baby, should I take my briefs or boxer shorts?"

20-year old bride replies: "Well, depends*"

CC :)
* In case you don't understand the reference:
picture

Mathion, they may still take you, the rules for re-entrants may be different. There was an obituary recently of a Vietnam vet who wanted to join up post 9/11 but his wife talked him out of it. She passed away and he reinlisted at 60. He got killed on operations.

How about recruiting Women over 50….with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol….we will have it secured the first night!

Hate to burst your bubble, but post menopausal women, usually over 50, don't have PMS…

I'm no medical expert, but found this on the top of a Google search… wdxcyber.com/nmood19.htm

Does "Irritable Male Syndrome" (IMS) Explain Why Some Men Behave so Badly? link

In an odd twist of fate, "Irritable Male Syndrome" (IMS) may show that men have been the bitchier sex all along.

That's because it's really Irritable Bowel Syndrome and they are just constipated!

CC

Or not.

Whatever.

Yesh, wonderful common sense there. Funny, it's actually true, every bit of it.

Iirc, it was the Parthian old farts and boys too young for the "army" that defeated Crassus near Carrhae….