"[Office Story] Nobody really cares...." Topic

Disclaimer: You know the drill…

So we are less than 60 days from losing our jobs. We've been given a full smoke and mirrors song and dance show by the "Dude!" company that is our new contracting vendor, and morale is lower than low.
So imagine our surprise when our shift supervisor says "Hey…we still need to keep track of these metrics" (See this tmp link: TMP link ) for info on the system.
"We still need to keep our stats up!" she says.
"Why?" we ask.
"Well…uh…because they uh…still want us to have high stats that can be modified and to show everyone what a good job we are doing…" She didn't sound convinced, but she is still posting sheets of metrics data which no one can understand or is even caring to look at anymore…

Gods I am starting to hate IT….

Submitted respectfully;
Murphy

IT was doomed when they found they could just as easily outsource it to s who cant speak english.

ymmv,

R.

When I was making up the CAD drawings of the parts that in the future we will have used to make, to send to China, where my job was heading, they called me into the conference room to congratulate me on my fine drawings.
I felt all warm and squishy inside to think that they liked me, they really liked me.

((Damn… I wish TMP had a Grammar Check. Is that a proper Future Pluperfect?))

Wow. Your company sounds like it has more obscure vague terms than Star Trek. The next time a problem arises, try this:

"Perhaps we should try reversing the polarity of the primary decoupler matrix…" and see if heads nod in unison at your suggestion.

LOL Parzival !!!!!

I don't think the problem is IT, I think it is Corporate Culture. I found that smaller firms had less on this.

I think it is Corporate Culture. I found that smaller firms had less on this.

More likely, MBA-speak. I've seen very small companies already infected…

I'd suggest putting "MBA" in the TMP Bleep-o-meter list, but that may just be personal bias talking…

Yes, but are you against MBAs the degree or MBA Miniature Building Authority. I shouldn't want them bleeped.

A lot of it has to do with the age of the firm and those running it. Part of the reason I still work where I do, even though I earn no way what I could be is because this owner, on the whole knows what the hell he's doing over some folks out there. I've seen friends and clients get burned by moron MBAs that only look at the "bottom line" and similar stupidity.

Murphy,
Part of the metrics collection will be important to any due-diligence on the part of the transfer to the new company.
Any drop in stats could be seen as a reason to bin people.
Keep the stats up and it could mean a few people get retained by the new organisation.
Slim hope, I know, but worth doing.

I'll second that.

Besides, isn't that what you're being paid to do?

Wow, a whole new language!!!

METRICS? That is a system of weights and measures invented in 18th Century France.

Why do huge companies not use normal words? Ah yes. If people knew what the 'suits' were talking about everyone would realise they know -all about anything.

They actually expect anyone to really care after they tell everyone that they're laid off?

Sure, there's the motivation to keep a good reference, the hope for networking connections, a work ethic, blah blah blah, but really? How can they ask for your loyalty with a straight face when they've shown that their only loyalty is to the bottom line, not their staff?

Ridiculous.

I'm reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies, "Office Space":

"I could burn the place to the ground…"

-Alex

"Critical Thinking" is our new buzz phrase. Try this: according to our latest critical thinking on the process of metrics incorporation of our daily performance procedures have show to hold graviatass and should be duly not noted for the value which they hold. I am from the government and I am here to help you in this time of crisis. Kool aid?

In my humble experience its nothing to do with 'old age company' thinking, or 'new age…', or MBA's, or degrees, or whatever.

&^%$^ heads talk like ^&%&^ heads.

I feel fortunate to work in a small company (less than thirty people) and in R &D, where I can work in an area I enjoy, which pretty much means get paid to chat with engineers as we play with foodstuffs and hope the lab doesn't explode.

My friends, however, have stories that sound as though they come straight out of the pages of Dilbert, much like these. I feel for you guys; I really do. Try to be more like Wally.