"Some Things Just Won't Wait......" Topic

Generally my life as an ecologist is reasonably dull in as much as my contacts with the kind of stupidity Murphy appears to get daily is pretty much nil.

Clients do occasionally excel themselves.

I'm currently down to be part of a team to survey a piece of ground for a development Somewhere In North Wales. Under EU law, all developments need to be checked for protected species.

Now, we've been waiting for the go-ahead for some time. The office-drone who has to give the thumbs up has been stalling.

My boss on the project has been patiently trying to twist his arm a little, because it is spring. A lot of biological surveys are time-critical.

Apparently the last meeting got a teensy bit heated. Office drone got upset at the subtle pressure (for which read – a request to please do your job) and couldn't understand why we couldn't survey for reptiles, butterflies, breeding birds (much easier to survey birds when they're singing) etc in the autumn…..

Arrgh.

And while complaining about the stupidity of others, I've messed up the title…. which should read 'Some Things Just Won't Wait'….

Irony is not dead.

Just ask the birds to fill out the census questionnaire and mail it back within 30 days. How difficult is it to do that? Those jays of yours, the big grey birds with the black and blue stripes on the wings, looked pretty smart when I was there.

Jays are actually pinkish-brown, but notoriously can look any colour. If anyone tells me they've seen a 'funny bird' chances are it's a jay… wierd ethereal things.

Ravens are even smarter. I catch reptiles by putting down squares of roofing felt, which attract basking beasties.

I've had ravens watch me turning the squares over and then working in pairs, toss the felt aside to catch what's lurking underneath…..

Certainly they're brighter than many of the office-drones I deal with.

Stu,
I can relate I work in an estates department in a university as the head gardener. All my seniors are building surveyors and such like with no concept of horticulture at all it can get quite frustrating at times. On the other hand as they no nothing about my job I can wing it sometimes and they all think I know what I'm talking about even when I don't :)

I feel your pain.

Another client has had trouble comprehending why I can't find a room in a B&B in the Lake District at two days notice…..

Do these people have lives? Or do they spend their entire Dilbert-like existence trapped in cubicles, totally divorced from any semblance of normality?

BTW – if you need a building bloke to stay clear of an area – tell him there's adders in it.

For some reason most people are terrified of them.

Same principle works for farmers who want to block off a public footpath without going to a lot of legal hassle….

Stick one cow in the field. Most people don't bother to intimately check something they think is a bull… :)

Stick one cow in the field. Most people don't bother to intimately check something they think is a bull… :)

I'm sure I read somewhere that cows kill more people in the U.k. than any other animal apparently they can get rather protective when they have calfs.

Do these people have lives? Or do they spend their entire Dilbert-like existence trapped in cubicles, totally divorced from any semblance of normality?

Yep that sums it up I think.

Stick one cow in the field. Most people don't bother to intimately check something they think is a bull… :)

I'm sure I read somewhere that cows kill more people in the U.k. than any other animal apparently they can get rather protective when they have calfs.

How odd – we used to play in the pastures all the time as kids. They really kill people?

I've also walked between big seals and the ocean without peril, and swum near sharks. Care and respect for big animals will get you through a lot of dangerous situations.

Never had any problems with cows and calves, so I suspect it's an urban myth. Unless of course you go out of your way to bother them – they're happy for people to walk on by.

Bulls when they're with cows and calves aren't – as I can attest to…. Nice to know I can still hurdle gates!

Horses give me the creeps – often they're very highly strung and/or exceptionally dumb.

Aren't Ravens the only birds that can make and use tools?
Twigs for catching grubs or something like that.

Aren't Ravens the only birds that can make and use tools?

Nope. There are some finches that do so as well.

I've never really thought of cows being more aggresive when protecting their calves but it makes sense. Though not a farmer, I have fed cattle and worked summers on the farm. It seemed like the farmers would always point out one or two cattle to keep an eye on as they were more aggresive than the herd. It seeemed like more of a cow personality thing. Now bulls were another story. We generally didn't turn our backs on them as they couldn't be trusted. It can be dangerous to cross fields with bulls in them. Not real dangerous, but sometimes they do kill people.

Horses give me the creeps – often they're very highly strung and/or exceptionally dumb.

I grew up on a farm and while bulls were a known quantity and cows will kick if you are foolish enough to linger in range right behind them as I was a couple of times. ( They can break ribs or if hit in the head, do worse.)

Horses however are just plain wonky. They are smart, tempermental, incredibly strong animals (a full grown horse is really big as well) and will bite, kick and just generally try and mess you up if they take it in their heads to be a pain. While I've encountered some horses that are dumb, it is the smart sneaky ones that scare me.

Out my way we look out for the cows, who are semi-feral free-range cattle and live here all year long, along with the mountain lions, bears, and coyotes. The bulls, on the other hand, are only brought out once or twice a year and are pretty terrified of being away from their "normal" routine.

I've had big mama cows "escort" me and the dogs as we walked past the herd – one false step and we would have been paste. I kept the dogs on "heel" while they were around.

Cows inside our fence, on the other hand, know that they're in the wrong place, and will move along nicely (though a few will turn to charge a dog that is being *too* eager to chivvy them along).

I misread Stu's post- I saw
"Ravens putting down square roots"- Now they are clever birds.

I have generally preached "never ascribe to malace what can be fully explained by incompetence" but is he bright enough to want you to do the survey when all the endagered species have migrated or gone into hibernation? Around here, there are strong motivations for officials who get projects approved.

I get the distinct impression he just doesn't have a window in his office…

The way the law works is that a survey has to be done, and the ecologist has to sign it off.

No way would any ecologist sign off on a survey done at the wrong time of year – it makes him liable I think for excessive costs incurred…. like the potential for huge fines.

Couple of years ago I was invovled in the tail-end of a newt translocation. Previously the developers had mistakenly dropped several hundred tons of top-soil on the part of the site where captured newts were being kept (someone fresh out of uni mis-read the map).

Cue a fine of several thousand pounds… no biggie…. and being thrown off the site by the police for three months.

That kind of thing hurts developers a lot. And it makes the papers, making them look bad.

So trying to take short-cuts over environmental laws dosesn't work.

Another reason to suspect this bloke is just stupid is the fact the company as a whole has a really good record regarding things environmental.

Some people just don't get things that are outside their normal life experience. I had a VERY smart TV producer who had no natural history background and who had lived in a city all her life. Her two "But surely…?" moments were:

1) We were filming interviews on an island famed for rare reptiles, in January. Could I ask the cameraman to nip off and film some rare reptiles after the interviews were done? Er, no. They're rare and they're hibernating.

2) She was well aware that the tide went in and out, but initially seemed a bit perplexed that it didn't do so at the same time each day.

I'm sure I've done or assumed equally dumb things when I'm outside my area of comfort/expertise.

I've been playing* with tigers in Asia for the last couple of years.

The two biggest problems I have are convincing people that:
1- tigers are not found in Africa
2- that white tigers are not Siberians/Amur tigers, but rather a genetic mutation that actually harms the fitness of the animals.

-----
* not literally playing, but investigating black-market in tiger parts to be precise.

I like to take the passive-aggressive approach in these situations.

Walk down the hall where you'll run into Office Drone's boss or whoever can get things kick-started, and intentionally just happen to meet them. Say hi. Mention the project in a way that suggests its going to happen in 2010. When Bigwig is startled, explain that the observations must be done in Spring, and the approvals and paperwork won't be ready this Spring. When he asks why the approvals are taking so long, be mildly bewildered, it's not your area, you don't really understand what all has to happen, only that someone has to sign a paper before you can count the tadpoles, and tadpoles only exist a few weeks out of the year, and the signed papers don't seem to be on any kind of schedule.

You're not complaining, you're not asking for anything, you're just lost in a world you never made, ready to look under rocks as soon as its legal. Never say Office Drone's name or anyone else's, everything will find its way home. Then wait for them to say, "I'm glad I ran into you…"

If you're indirect enough nothing that follows will be your fault. Actually, its already not your fault, but you know what I mean.

Andrew

Andrew – past master of the game, but I'm only a sub-contractor in this so it's fortunately up to the contractor to do the heavy lifting with the Dilberts.

Chthoniid – you're a CITES inspector? Respect.

Be careful out there…

Chthoniid,
Much respect from me too. I've always loved Tigers.

I'm not exactly CITES- wildlife crime is slightly more my bent. I've been doing a mix of covert work along tiger smuggling routes, interviews and analysis of arrest data within China.

It's not overly risky work generally, but of course, there are also some occasions when it gets umm, a lot less safe.

I'm afraid I'm not optimistic about the survival of wild tigers throughout most of Asia. There's probably only a few reserves that are large enough, and well-managed enough, to let tigers persist.

The black-market is only one part of a wider problem. But curbing poaching would at least, buy us some time to try to fix other problems.