"So "School Cop" visited me this morning..." Topic

I'm getting ready to go to work…there's a ring of the doorbell…and before I can answer an "official sounding knocking"…
I open the door.
Standing there is a uniformed police officer.
"Can I help you?" I ask him.
"Yes. I am officer (so and so), I'm the School Policeman for *insert school name here*, (which happens to be right across the street from me)and I need to talk to you about your actions last night."
Okay so I have a school cop standing on my doorstep, making me late for work, wanting to "talk" to me about my actions last night…Suuuuuuurrrrrreeee I'll play his silly game.
"What actions would those be?" I asked him.
He looked at me and blinked. "What you were doing last night." he said.
"Which was what at what time?" I inquired.
School Cop cocked his head and glared at me. "You really want to get into the details about this?" He said.
I nodded. "Well…Yes I do. Since you took the time to walk all the way from across the street I think you might be able to tell me more or less accurately what you are talking about."
He looked at me like I kicked his dog, and I could see the psychological impressions of "his authority" being challenged…by me no less!
"We were informed by a reliable source that you were driving around the school parking lot in a suspicious manner last night around 2 am."
I nodded slowly as the words soaked in.
"Uh huh…and how do you know it was me?"
"The person was driving a dark pickup truck and yours is the only one that matches the description on the street."
He said with a "matter of fact" tone.
"Dang Sherlock." I said. "So you are saying that I got up out of bed last night at 2 am and decided to get in my truck and drive to the parking lot across the street from my house and just "drive around?"
He nodded his head.
"You do realize how silly that sounds?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "Doesn't matter if it's silly or not." he said.
"Okay…Do you have a copy of the report? If so, can I see it? I want to see if there is a license plate number." I told him.
"We don't have a written report of the incident." He told me.
"Ah I see…so "somebody" calls you at 2 am and says that a dark truck is driving around the school parking lot late at night. And you wait until 7 hours later to find someone with a dark truck that happens to live across the street and knock on their door and confront them with this?"
I asked him.
"Well did you do it or not?" He asked me.
"Well, first off..let me ask you this…If I did do it…WHY would I? Secondly, if I did just drive around the parking lot, is that a crime?" I asked him.
"Well, no it's not a crime, but it IS suspicious." He told me.
"So…you have a possible suspicious person driving around the school late at night, and don't come to investigage, but seven hours later, you decide to play "Marshall Dillon" and come bother me?"
"Who?" he said.
"Who what?" I asked.
"Who's Marshall Dillon?" He asked.
I shook my head. The guy wasn't this young…
"Nevermind." I said. "You do realize that this is a dead end street and that a LOT of idiots ignore the three DEAD END signs and think that this street is a cut through to avoid the freeway? And they roar down here only to find out that the Dead End means DEAD END, and they have to turn and go back? Ever considered that that was what was going on last night?"
He stood there for a moment. For a police officer, this guys intelligence was severely lacking.
"Uh no." he said quietly.
"And besides…Have you gone and talked to THE SOURCE of the report. Have you talked to the person that made the call?"
"Uh…no we didn't. We didn't get their name." He said.
I had had it with this guy.
"Okay, well let me get your name and badge number and the number to your supervisor, so I can now see if I can press harassment charges on you and your department. You didn't do your job in the first place and am now trying to blame ME because I happen to have a dark truck?"
He stepped back and said "I seem to have made a mistake. I'm sorry sir." He then nodded his head and told me "Have a good day." and walked quickly out of my driveway and back across the street.

What the hell?
It makes me late for work, and here I am in the afternoon still thinking about it and fuming…

We are truly doomed as a species…

Murph, you had better be careful here. The poor guy doing his job and you tip him over the edge.

Tomorrow night when your doorbell rings, you go to answer it and there is no-one there but a burning brown bag, DON'T stomp it out…. Those School Cops have ways of dealing with people like you.

"We were informed by a reliable source…"

"We didn't get their name."

I love that contradiction.

I've been sayin that for years Murphy. ;)

REPENT NOW! THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT!!!!

YOU WERE LATE FOR WORK????
You should have just admitted everything, pled guilty, served your time, and it would have taken less time than it just took you.

I'd file a formal complaint with the local PD and school board.

Why suffer when you can make their life "so much more interesting".

And put in about lost wages.

Sorry Murphy but SO and I were trying to get to our girlfriend Wanda's house and made a wrong turn. Didn't know that the nosy old biddy watching us would call it in though.
Definitely don't step on the burning bag. The new trick is to put upright nails in it.

I live on a cul de sac too… our street is full of 'suspicious behavior'.

Should have sent him to the hobby shop…

Wasn't me. I was miles away.

Oh, and:

"For a police officer, this guys intelligence was severely lacking."

Come back to visit Barstow. You'll quickly change your assessment of the breed. Vegas must have spoiled you.

Allen

And you just thought Bongolesia was make believe…

And once again, Murphy pegs the wierdness meter.

Dude, you surely are flypaper for the undermedicated.

I don't know what you did in your last life Murphy, but you must have annoyed the holy heck out of somebody.

Regards, the Gorb

Damn, Murph… I'd love to have you work at the bar, just to hear you go off on some of the random idiots… :)

Should have sent him to the hobby shop…

Ya know, I gotta wonder what the common thread is here.

Somebody does something (or doesn't do something -- it doesn't seem to matter) and Murphy reaches some sort of boiling point. What is the common thread?

Is it the kid at the fast food counter? No. He only figures in one story. Is it the hobby shop clerk? No, he's only got one story too. Is it the school cop? So far, he has only one appearance.

No, the only character who runs through all these threads is . . . Murphy. I can't help but wonder . . . Is Murphy cursed? Is everyone in the world ed up except Murphy? Or could it be that the one common factor is the source of these . . . interesting . . . stories?

But Murphy, you didn't tell us why you were driving around the parking lot after all that.
--
Tim

Ya Know---------
Going back through all of Murphy's Tales from Work and ranting threads, there seems to be a pretty distinct pattern. Everyone he deals with seems to be contemptable morons, pretty much beneath him and only there for him to ridicule. Also he always gets the best of everyone of them. They always meekly back off from his snappy comebacks and never have any of their own. The stories always seem a little contrived, like the one above. They are entertaining though, but all good fiction is. Of course this is just my observation and my opinion. I could be wrong and you should never go by just one persons opinion.

Bob, I've got lots of bar stories where there's no good line at the end, no clear ending at all, or where I'm made to look foolish.

But I don't write those down and post them to the internet.

I post the funny and entertaining ones.

I suspect Murphy does something similar.

-Alex

"I post the funny and entertaining ones."

Yes, you do. You also do it without that common thread of ridicule and contempt.

"I suspect Murphy does something similar."

Uuuummmm, not so much. Again, just stating the impression that I percieve from his threads and I __could__ be wrong.

Could it have been "Paul Blart, Mall Cop"? After all they did blow up half of his shopping mall. He may be moonlighting to make ens meet.

The common thread I see in Murphy's commentary on the Human Condition is the threat to "Fairness and Equity." His ire is raised the most when an injustice is done – such as this case with inability of the officer to think first instead of react.

I just think Murphy is more empathic than the rest of us to people who do stupid things and is able to tune them in – much to his dismay. The rest of us are just blissfully ignorant of their stupidity, so we don't care.

Schhool cops are generally those that are too dumb or lazy to get hired as real cops.

You know, I hadn't ever really thought about before. However, both Bob and jizbrand bring up some interesting thoughts. Frankly, it does seem to be a common thread in his stories. Maybe he does deal with a lot of idiots? But, it sure does make you wonder.

Thanks,

John

Ya Know---------
Going back through all of Murphy's Tales from Work and ranting threads, there seems to be a pretty distinct pattern. Everyone he deals with seems to be contemptable morons, pretty much beneath him and only there for him to ridicule.

Really Bob, where do I say that? I only write what happens. I've never said that Goth Chick or Hot Cousin, or Cousin EE or anyone that I work with right now is "beneath me"…

Also he always gets the best of everyone of them. They always meekly back off from his snappy comebacks and never have any of their own.

You obviously didn't read the one where the lady left me speechless, or where I had to go with the other tech to get the keyboard with the "love stains" on it… No snappy comebacks there…just…oh my gawd…
You also probably didn't read the ones where I got laid off…yeah no snappy comebacks there…

The stories always seem a little contrived, like the one above. They are entertaining though, but all good fiction is. Of course this is just my observation and my opinion. I could be wrong and you should never go by just one persons opinion.

Sorry Bob you're wrong…I just write what happens. If you are interested in seeing my "not having any snappy comebacks", please check out my three parter when I went to visit my family, (and the funeral that followed), or read there one where I went to visit my fathers grave…no snappiness there…

Jiz and John…

You know, I hadn't ever really thought about before. However, both Bob and jizbrand bring up some interesting thoughts. Frankly, it does seem to be a common thread in his stories. Maybe he does deal with a lot of idiots? But, it sure does make you wonder.

I used to be a security supervisor for a community college that was in "one of the sleezier" areas of Las Vegas…I've never told you about the crack and meth heads that we would find on our campus, or the pregnant street chick that we caught in the Charity Dumpster trying to steal clothes that would fit because she just got out of jail…
I've never written about the massive amounts of people we've caught getting jiggy on the college campus, or some of the other stupid things that "college students" do, (me included occassionally)…

Then I was working for the city government. Lots of stories I could tell you about there…including the time I had to take a new computer to the watch office of the Female jail downtown…talk about scary!

Now I work in tech support (again), for a major medical provider…when people call me and say that "they took their laptop to a pool party, (as in, they got IN the pool with the laptop and now it won't work)" What am I supposed to think?

When a person can't spell their own name and gets mad at me because of it…what am I supposed to think?

When a person calls me and says "I know what I am asking you to do is illegal and against company proceedures, but…" What am I supposed to think?

Oh, and I never thought that Goth Chick was stupid…different yes, but stupid, no…after all, she had me make the coffeeeeeeeee…..

I spent 3 hours last week trying to fix a firewall problem for a local government customer, only to discover he was spelling the URL .guv …..

It's not getting any smarter out there.

Murphy

ever gone to The DailY thedaily.com.

It's more programming stuff but still

I am not trying to insult you or start a flame war here Murph.

I know you never said that anyone was beneath you. Not in those words anyway. Its just an impression that I percieve from your threads and I said that I could be wrong.

I know that you got laid off. I also read the threads about your job search and interviews. I got the same impression from those threads too. I actually thought to myself, at the time, "I wonder if those hiring managers were picking up the same impression as me and thats why he's having a hard time getting and keeping a job".

I never said anything before, but this thread was just a little over the top for me. I mean this in a constructive criticism way. Your threads are giving me a negative impression of you. I thought you might be interested to know that people have different perceptions of what you are saying. Again, I don't know you personally and I could be wrong.

You're right Bob…
But then again, how would you feel if you had some "law enforcement type" knocking on your door in the morning, and then "giving you the third degree" because you happen to have a dark truck and just happened to live across the street?

I've worked with law enforcement before, and the first thing that they teach you is to "consider your sources". When you get a report, you investigate, but you also consider the sources, such as "Why would this guy want to get up at 2 am and drive his truck around an empty parking lot slowly that is directly across the street?"

For the job interviews…I've had good ones and bad ones…the bad ones I've written about, (this is why it's called "The Ranting Section")..Companies that keep half the lights off in their office, and the person interviewing me is interviewing me for a position that he knows nothing about is NOT a good sign…

So what am I supposed to think?

When I have my house broken into, and a firearm stolen, (and if you read that post you will see that I have complete respect at the professionalism of the investigating officers, due to the way they handled the job), but then saw how badly bungled the follow up was by the wrong information on the report, and the fact that a "follow up officer" was pretending to be "a detective", then what am I supposed to think?

The ranting page is supposed to be a page where we can rant, vent, let off steam, tell people what ticks and es us off, so naturally it's going to be a bit on the negative based side…

Sorry if it was a little over the top for you Bob, but I didn't want, nor need Barney Fife, School Cop to use his "powers of deductive reasoning" and come to my house and try to cause an issue with me over something that I had no clue what he was talking about.

Sorry Bob, looks like you have made "The List". Keep up the good stories Murphy. I alway enjoy them.

Ehh, whatever. Like you said, this is what the boards for.

Nah…no lists for Bob to make…

It's all good here…

As contrived as it may sound to others, I can believe it. I have a few friends who, through no fault of their own, are also "weirdness magnets."

But you never really denied doing it.

Clean out your computer fast. Your in big trouble. They will be back for blood. Stop driving around the school in the middle of the night, perv!

Murph,

You need to practice raising one eyebrow. There were several points that simply raising one eyebrow would have been priceless!

At least you get some humor out of dealing with idiots, I just get more gray hair.

Man, I USED tio have weird stuff happen to and around me all the dang time. Not any more… sniff.

I have a few friends who, through no fault of their own, are also "weirdness magnets."

I'm definitely a weirdo magnet, and I'm convinced it's genetic! Put my mother in any random town somewhere and almost ing guaranteed, within mere minutes the local drunken, tin foil hat wearing, nutball crazy dude will accost her in some way!

And now it's happening to me!!!

As for Murphy's stories, same for Alex's, I believe every word. Having worked helpdesk for while and having to deal with some of the strange questions out there, I can relate.

And by the way, did once gets asked by someone if I could send them a copy of the internet on CD. I'm pretty sure what they were trying to ask was how they could access the internet and could I send an install disk for the browser, but they asked for the internet on disk!

Some people take dumb to entirely unfeasible levels, for which we have the Darwin Awards!

I got lost where he said, "Do you really want me to go into detail about this?" and what it turned out he felt was too unpleasant to mention was suspicious driving in the parking lot.

How would this guy handle a real crime?

Andrew

Just don't tell them you play with lead soldiers. They will throw away the key from that point on.

Murphy, you just attract this kind of confrontation. You're an incarnation of Joe Btfsplk!

The Darwin Awards site is one of my favourite examples of the …variety…. of human activities other people would consider to be 'not very sensible'.

darwinawards.com

After reading these, very little that anyone tells me sounds unbelievable.

A few questions/points:

1) I'm not sure what a "school cop" is compared to just a "cop", as we have no such thing here. Is he really a law enforcement officer, who has power of arrest etc, or is he a security guard who has to call in the police to make arrests etc? Just wondering.

2) Secondly, no matter which he is, if the school is in a cul de sac, and vehicles often have to turn, what was so distinctive about this particular incident that someone became suspicious enough to report it (when, presumeably, they'll have seen this happening a thousand times before)?

3) If it was indeed a more suspicious than usual event, then maybe the cop was correct in following up, and not just saying to himself "oh, that would be a car turning at the end of the street". It is just that sort of supposition that a suspicous event is just something normal which often makes crime easier.

4) If the witness had indeed specified it was Murphy's car, then the cop was correct in going to Murphy. I mean, it could well have been no more than Murphy coming home at 2.00am and turning to park in front of his house, and a cordial question and answer would've quickly cleared up everything straight away. If it wasn't Murphy, the same Q&A would've calmly brought that up, and then the cop would have to decide whether to make more enquiries to find out whose car it really was (or, in fact, to check if Murphy's denial stacked up).

5) From the school's point of view, I would say that they should be happy the cop is following up and doing his job, and not just jumping to the conclusion that an apparently 'minor' matter was nothing.

6) Not being there at the time, I can't say if the cop was overbearing from the word go and so made this worse than the simple enquiry it should have been. Or if it was Murphy's attitude (which, from the story, seemed to be rather anti the cop right from the word go). Or if it was both of them. But often the attitude of one or other or both parties can escalate a harmless situation.

Around here the "school cop" is a cop assigned there by the Chief. One other question to consider is whether or not the guy was told by higher authority to check Murph out.

Wait wait… I don't understand… Why were you driving in the parking lot again?

Get a friend to drive around in the parking lot tonite! Or maybe a not really good friend as Barney may be watching.

dont look at me, in the dallas area we are having to explain to cops that when people drive to the hospital that it might just be an emergency.

that "we were informed" crack reminds me of a summons a business i once worked at got for putting out our garbage too early – unsigned, xeroxed form letter stating "you were seen"…by who?

sigh. bureaucracy. its not for everyone. im actually coming to the conclusion that its for no one…except itself.

What was this reliable source doing looking out their window at the school yard across the street at 2:00 AM?

Now, that's suspicious behavior.

JW