"Reading my book is NOT an invitation to bug me!!!" Topic

So… tonight at work illustrates an example of something that has been irritating me for most of my entire life.

We had a slow night at the bar… like, "there are more employees in the building than customers" kinda slow. My boss is maybe the most relaxed guy I've ever worked for, and he's specifically told me that I should bring a book for the slow nights.

I think he's uncomfortable asking his employees to do anything that he can do himself… he's owned the bar for almost 40 years, and only had security guys like myself on staff for the last three or four years. I get the feeling that to a certain extent he doesn't know what to do with us on the slow nights. I work 5 nights a week, so there's usually one slow night a week (often Sunday night)… lately I don't even feel guilty about slacking, what with my broken hand and all.

Anyways, I usually bring a book with me to work, and on the occasional slow night I can pull a barstool over to the door, sit and read a bit.

But it seems like EVERY DAMN TIME I try to sit down and read, some drunken fool takes that as a cue to walk over to me and bother me. It's as if the look my way, see a guy reading a book, and think, "My God – he's so bored he's reading a book??? Nobody *I* know reads for recreation! I must stumble over there and rescue him from his literary predicament!!"

Now, I have to admit, that even on the cheeriest of days, I'm not the most sociable guy. I'm *always* polite to people when the come in to the bar, when I check their ID, or when I need to talk to someone regarding their behaviour… but making small talk with drunks who want to tell me all about their day, their life, their problems… well… I just don't have the patience for it. It's the bartender's job to listen to that junk. They usually mean well, but it has always amazed me how these guys think I'm their buddy just because I work at the bar where they drink.

Last weekend, an older guy was losing at pool, and started yelling and cussing at the younger guy who was winning. He's sort of a regular customer, and when I told him he had to leave for the night, he got this deeply butt-hurt look on his face, "You're kicking me out Alex?? Really??"

"Yeah, Ed, I'm kicking you out. You just threatened to murder that kid because he beat you at pool. I think you need to go home for the night".

"But… but… Alex, I thought we were friends!"

Nonplussed, I replied "Um… Ed, you're just a guy who drinks where I work. We're not friends".

Ed just looked appalled, like I'd killed his puppy or something. He drew himself up into an unsteady semblance of dignity. "I've misjudged you Alex. I won't be coming back here again".

(He was back again the next day, losing at pool, but a little more politely…)

But he really meant what he said about thinking we were friends, and I've never been anything more than barely polite to the guy. Apparently "Good evening sir" when they walk in and "have a good night" or "get home safe" when they leave is enough to make some of these idiots think that I'm friends with them.

Tonight's winner saw me reading and walked over and tried to talk to me about how Stephen King is the greatest author of the 20th century blah blah blah…

But of course this isn't just a bar thing – my whole life, if I'm on the bus, at the coffee shop, at a restaurant… pretty much any time I'm alone and trying to read, some pushy friendly jerk has to interrupt me with intrusive conversation. If I wanted to talk to people, I wouldn't bring a book.

Argh.

-Alex

I am with you on that one Alex.

Sometimes, rather than go down to the faculty room to eat my lunch, I like to enjoy a little solitude. I stay up in my room, get my sandwich out, and pull out the latest book I am working my way through. It is invariably at that moment that someone passing by my room (I leave the door open to have some air circulation) sees that I am "Not Otherwise Occupied" and comes in for a chat.

Can't they see that I am reading? You figure teachers and students would understand…but NOOOOOOO!

I hear you 100% Alex.

Andy Welkley
"Your Phrendlee Hevy Phyzx T-chrr"

Think I would have said something like' Sure, Ed, and I don't want to see you get into trouble. So if you just go home everything will be fine…..'

Alex, maybe you should print off new jacket covers for your books to deter would-be interrupters?

The key, of course, will be to discern what jacket cover will best discourage your clientele from interrupting.

Would Little Women do the trick? Considering your past stories, probably not.

Perhaps the classic Knots and How to Tie Them?

You could always be cheeky and make your own new jacket cover… I bet we could get a good thread of suggestions going here.

You could always be cheeky and make your own new jacket cover…

"Handling Interruptions Without Killing"

"Hey, Bud. I see you're not doin' anything…"

Better yet..

"How to handle a short temper and blood stains."

Killing for Dummies and getting away with it.

100 Best Places to Hide a Body.

The joy of mass murder and how to get away with it.
:-D

Thanks,

John

"Red Mist: How to Suppress the Killing Rage while Around Others"

"My God – he's so bored he's reading a book??? Nobody *I* know reads for recreation! I must stumble over there and rescue him from his literary predicament!!"

Yep, using that one…

"Beating Up Nosey Drunks for Fun and Profit"

"Don't Bug Me. Can't You See I'm Reading?"

"Don't Annoy The Large Irritable Bookworm"

"If I Wanted To Talk, I Wouldn't Have a Book."

"Anger Management for the Masses"

"How to Serve Man, The cookbook"

Alex, I'm just shocked knowing that you can read.

(I'm soooo kidding! Please don't hurt me … )

So, when CAN we bug you, then?

Anytime he's posting to TMP, he's free game, just like everybody else.

Man am I glad I don't have that job. (Actually I am glad I don't have ANY job; now, work at "a labor of love" would be okay. Anyone have any suggestions?)

LOL, I have had that happen to Me while trying to write. It's very frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!

"Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies: A guide on determining whether your friends will go to jail for you"

Tonight's winner saw me reading and walked over and tried to talk to me about how Stephen King is the greatest author of the 20th century blah blah blah…

Alex, just to clarify, it was actually a Steven King book you were reading right?

Nope, I was reading "The Throne of Bones".

There's only one place really you can read in peace – the can – just lock the door. Ok, you will get people knocking, but you can ignore them ;-p

Yeah, drives me crazy.
I'm on break, and reading my book, and someone decides to talk to me. On my time, they have to decide to interrupt my dang book.
-Kle.

It's only going to get worse once you get your badge. You can't eat, drink, or anything else in public without somebody wanting advice or to tell you some sob story. When all you want to do IS EAT before you get the next call. Good Luck.

Too bad you cant wear a walkman at work…

Or, start wiggling your fingers at them and point to your ears and shake your head no. Works for me. I just walk away when someone starts to do that.

Frankly just putting a dust cover on the book that says I can read it or you can eat it should work wonders

That's not the way to handle it. Bring a second book, and tell them how great it is followed by insisting they begin reading it immediately. 3 minutes tops, and they won't bother you again. Shove a book at a drunk, and not only will they avoid you when you are reading but everyone else there will as well. Just have that "extra book" in the open and close by.

Nonplussed, I replied "Um… Ed, you're just a guy who drinks where I work. We're not friends".

Not sure if that was necessary-and a bit rude. I have to agree w/garrison miniatures. Even if you don't want to be friends with the guy, I don't think you have to slam someone like that. If I were the bar owner, I'd have had a talk with you. You weren't wrong for tossing the guy, but you could have been a tad more diplomatic.

So, Alex, whatcha readin'. Huh, Huh Huh. I read a book once. Whatcha readin' now. And now. Huh. Huh. Is it any good. You really should read another book. That one's no good. Whatcha readin now Alex. Huh.

You're right, Brambledemon – it might not have been 100% necessary for me to tell the guy that he wasn't a friend, just a customer.

But you've gotta remember – this guy was about a minute and a half post-yelling "I'm going to ing kill you!! You're cheating at pool you little !! you!! Get the off of my pool table!!", puffing his chest up at the young guy he was playing pool with, gesticulating wildly with his arms.

His sudden flip to puppy-dog hurt when I told him to leave the bar seemed… schizophrenic. I felt like the time for excessive courtesy was past, and I certainly didn't want to give the guy the mistaken impression that I liked him or was his friend – that's just opening me up for unwanted drunken conversations in the future. I have family who are alcoholics, but no friends who drink that much that frequently. It seemed appropriate for me to put him in his place.

I should have explained a bit more about the guy when I wrote my original post – he comes in often enough that I recognized him and already had an idea of how to deal with him. If you're too nice to him he'll talk at you for as long as you'll let him… begging and bugging and excusing any excess. Sometimes being buddy-buddy with them works, but being verbally agressive is sometimes the most effective way with dealing with the drunks.

You should see the looks and hear the comments when I tell people I don't own a TV.

"READ!?!?"

Yeah. I like to read. Yes, I may have been born on another planet, but that has nothing to do with liking to read.

JW

Yes, my students are always amazed when I tell them that I don't watch TV at all.

What do you do? they demand.

There's only one place really you can read in peace – the can – just lock the door. Ok, you will get people knocking, but you can ignore them…

Yeps…look what reading in the can did for Elvis…

A recent quote from a friend that never reads:

"My dad got me this brilliant book for Christmas. It's about a man that lives with bears…(pause)… I have't read it"

BTW…how's the book?

Have you read Seapower by E.B. Potter? You really should read Seapower. But only the first edition. Beware the later editions which all true fans know are pale imitations of the original.

I don't think agreeing with a customer that you are a friend is a good idea as a bouncer. They they will expect a favour, which you cannot deliver and do your job well.

Better to be straight up. They are punters, and you will deal with them if they are naughty, regulars or not.

Friendly, yes. A friend, no.

Common problem, confused "friend" with "non-hostile acquaintance"

The new plan…..Let the Wookiee Read…. :)