"I am Scum......" Topic

First time post on this board, I have a tale to tell, its a bit of a long 'un, but worth it, I think!……

I work for a UK based Aviation maintenance company, joined a year or so ago, a few of us joined at the same time, and the old hands at this place disliked the new, better qualified, peeps who were asked to join to rev up the company a bit.
This dislike manifested itself in some false trails to find information on a computer-based maintenance manual, stuff like that, very sad, I know but you get it done.

I was the victim of one of these pranks, and the perp was boasting of his 'victory' over a new boy up in the office. A girl works there who I get on well with, overheard this, and came down to help me out, this she did, with the result that the original 'prankster' was made to look very stooopid! All good, I bought her a cuppa, an all.

Fast forward to last week, I was doing some paperwork, (as you can imagine, with aviation there is a lot!) and I noticed the paperwork was incorrectly submitted to me, now, that original idiots job is now to ensure this doesn't happen, I know it makes me no better than him, but I admit, I thought, 'oh good, hehehehehehehe' so, I filled out a 'quality slip' signed it, and submitted it to management, yukyukyukyuk.
BUT he was on holiday, and who was helping out?, trying to get the paperwork sorted? my original lady saviour! I have now landed her in a LOT of trouble, and signed the slip just to let her know it was me!!!!!!
As soon as I found out, I went to see my boss, to try to explain, only to find her outside his office,head in hands, crying her eyes out, as she looked at me, and through redded, tear stained eyes, whispered 'why? I thought you were nice, why would you do that, I thought we were friends?' I thought to myself, 'You are Scum……….'

Ouch! Now that's an ugly boomarang effect. Good luck sorting that out.

It is a reminder of why one should never give in to the temptation to lower one's self to their level.

And it is a temptation we have all had; I am definately filing this in the "learn from others" category. I wonder how many times I have given in to something like this and been caught by it without knowing.

Karma ALWAYS has a way of kicking you in the teeth!

Nothing like a little "collateral damage" to make you think twice about being a retaliatory a-hole in the future…

Hope you manage to patch things up.
Let us know.

Oh, it gets worse, off to the States (Georgia) for a training course, for two weeks, on Saturday. Didn't get a chance to get her on her own to apologise, and explain.
Sent her a e-mail, (I know, cowards way out) and have had no response for the last two days…….. oh dear! she was such a good mate, and we had a proper laugh together.
I am genuinely, really upset about all this!

Do not get involved with morons, they'll only drag you down to their level, then beat you with their experience!

Can I put the other side of the story- not for me, but an 'old hand' I once knew.

He had been a 'dirty hands engineer for 30-40 years (also in aerospace), and the new Graduates would turn up, fullof the latest degree, but no real world nouse. One suggested that they call the team being set up as trouble shooters the "Fast Action Response Team". 'And what acronym should we use?' they enquired.

I agree, 25 years in the job meself, did all my qualifications in my own time, after a shift at work, have no time for Grads who turn up with no life experience and expect to be managers. Off to Georgia tomorrow morning at half past nothing, still more cheesed off than I should be!

Ugh. Good luck working this out with your lady saviour – but it is worth a lot of effort trying.

As a possible side effect, if the "perp" didn't train his vacation replacement (your lady friend) correctly, the desired effect could still be achieved.

Send her a link to this discussion, to show how lousy you feel.

'Send her a link to this discussion, to show how lousy you feel'

No, I'm afraid I'm not 'outed' in the gaming sense!

Now, I have no interest in this girl, in a physical sense, she being 25, me 42, with a georgeous girlfriend, just as a mate, but, having e-mailed her a coupla times to explain, and having pointedly had no replies, WHY am I so upset about this, cause I really, really am! on a course in the US at the mo, and feel like !.It'll be ok after a while……… won't it!

John

I think you had better bring her a bloody nice gift from Georgia. Deliver same in person with a sincere apology. Do this only after you've gone before your boss and put your hand up to this pretty much being your fault. Send your boss an email to this effect and cc her. Let's hope the lady hasn't been given the bounce while you've been on your course, and that you actually get to do this.

Assuming she's still employed, be prepared to have said gift flung back towards you/ broken over your head/ rammed where the sun don't shine. Man up and take it – she's entitled.

As for it being "okay after a while", I'd say 'no', to be honest. As a wise man once said, "You've burned your arse – now sit on the blister".

Wise words, my friend.

I have mailed my boss, and cc'ed her, all is sorted on that front, she is in no more trouble, although still no mail from her. The gift idea is a good one, although I have to walk a careful tightrope;

My girlfriend is sympathetic to my cause, but the gift to another girl cannot be TOO nice, do you see?, also, it cannot be TOO nice for her boyfriend, do you see also? plus I cannot let on to my own girlfriend how upset this has made me also. A careful political game has to be played out here, although, writing on a nerdy wargames site has actually really helped!

I think letting it lie until my return may be wise, I don't want to pester her, thoughts?

Cheers guys.

John

Seems to me you've done all possible for the time being given current location and circumstances.

Maybe you should just ger another job?!

"My girlfriend is sympathetic to my cause, but the gift to another girl cannot be TOO nice, do you see?"

True. However, your GF may also note/ be noting the manner in which you handle this situation as an indicator of how you're likely to behave should you feck something up with her.

"also, it cannot be TOO nice for her boyfriend, do you see also?"

So book the two of them a nice weekend away and have done. Should look after him nicely, unless he wants to break bits off of you.

Take your own GF someplace equally nice – that'll keep her quiet.

"plus I cannot let on to my own girlfriend how upset this has made me also."

Right. Top secret. Hush-hush, mum's the word, of course – which is why, obviously, you've chosen to stick it on d'Internet. Your GF know you're a gamer? Know you work for an aviation company? Has she ever seen your screen ID for TMP? Give her a wave….

"A careful political game has to be played out here,"

Uh, right. Politics. Politics and yourself. Um, given your track record in office political games, d'you not think you might want to ditch the gameplaying for a bit?

No?

Not even a little bit?

" although, writing on a nerdy wargames site has actually really helped!"

Of course it did. Out yourself. Gamers aren't half as nerdy as they think they are, and the vast majority of "normal" people think it's grand. Bit daft, true, but then so are so many other hobbies and pastimes when you think about it.

"True. However, your GF may also note/ be noting the manner in which you handle this situation as an indicator of how you're likely to behave should you feck something up with her"

You've never met John's Missus, have you?

Ok, been back a coupla weeks, she takes detours to avoid me, worse, sometimes she takes detours just to walk past me, and ignore me!
I've had enough of this, silly cow, BUT, why do I still care?

By John 54: …why do I still care?

You have an active conscience. You f'ed up, and are feeling guilt. And shame. You want to make things right, but the offended party won't let you.

We're all different, but I sometimes still feel guilt and shame over things I f'ed up 40 years ago. Some things you just can't ever make right. You live with it.

Did you get her a gift with an apology card saying you are sincerely sorry for your mistake? If that doesn't work she is holding the grudge too strong and you will just have to let it go and move on and do your job. Sometimes people are like that.

yeah, Jovian is right …..you should know John…after all, You NEVER hold a grudge…(tee-hee)

Ok, today something bizarre happened, we found ourselves walking towards each other in a corridor, I hadn't seen her, was looking at some paperwork. Glanced up, saw her, thought 'shite, here we go again, another blanking'

But no, she stopped me by touching me gently on the arm, and said, quietly,'Hi, how have you been?' did I use this to restart our friendship, did I see this as her going out on a limb to make the move? No, I did not, because I am scum…..

I glanced at her hand on my arm, looked her in the eye, said, 'fine, never better' and walked past her.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I want to be her mate again, I miss the laughs we had, I had the chance, but no!

Jesus, what a I am……….

So next time you see her, go up, apologise, tell her that you are scum and ask for forgiveness!

"So next time you see her, go up, apologise, tell her that you are scum and ask for forgiveness!"

Methinks that ship may well have sailed.

Probably, but still better than the alternative of NOT doing it.

I tell ya, if this thread was about someone else, it would be great reading!
Right decision time, Come Monday I'm gonna go see her, and beg forgiveness, do or die!
I'm gonna have to be the most charming mother *r…ever, (probably not saying mother*r will be a start!)
Wish me luck! I'll report back Monday night.

Luck wished.

Yea, I bottled it……. so now, not only am I scum, I am now self-loathing scum!

Monday, deffo Monday!

Tuesday, Tuesday, I WILL do it tuesday, loathing, loathing, oh, so much loathing!

Wednesday, Wednesday will be the day!

So, an update?

Ok, went to see her, apologised my arse off, said I hoped we could be friends, she said 'of course'.
All good.

Had bought her a small Christmas gift, went to give her it, she said, 'no, can't accept it'.

Not good

Went to the States again for a training course, went to say byebye before I left, she wasn't about.
Sent her an e-mail to say happy christmas, about 2 sentences.

Heard nothing for a coupla days, then my boss phoned me to say that she had been to see him to complain that I was pestering her!!!!!!
Luckily he has access to all our e-mails, so could read all of the friendly banter we had, and also that I hadn't communicated with her for about 3 months, I told him the story, (he knew the beginning of it, of course)
He decided she was talking rubbish, cautioned her about making trouble, and assured me this was the end of the matter.

I dislike her intensely, a shame, but what can you do. End of story.

Ok, Update time, oh mumma! now THIS is the end of the story!

Last week, I was off work for a coupla days, on holiday, well, painting figures actually.

This same girl chose this time to go see my boss to say I was constantly e-mailling her, and going to her office to see her, and she wanted something done about it!

My boss, checking the e-mails to, and from her, found I hadn't mailled her for months, and the CCTV in the hangar we work in showed I hadn't been in her office for months. Best of all, in her 'pester diary' she insisits on keeping, I wasn't even at work on 3 occasions she said I was annoying her. My boss had a total spazz-out and suspended her, without pay, for 3 days.

Now he has asked ME if I would like him to take things further in a industrial tribunal sort of thing!

I said no, I see no need for that, BUT, I think she's mental! A mate of mine thinks it's because I quite happily cut her out of my social circle, and she thinks I should be more heartbroken at losing her as a mate!?! (but then again, his whole theory on life revolves around the fact that dogs can't look up!)

Women? total fruit loops.

I thank you for your indulgence.

John

Beware the Bunny Boiler!!

Steve P

I worked for a guy called Attila Boyla (no really!) nd his wife was called Bunny. That, sadly, was before this phrase became 'au courant' sadly.

Pat