I recieved this one today. I thought that as it is army based, some of you may appreciate it:
The Army found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points of his body. The officer to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his up stretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my 
to my testicles.' It was suggested by the woman from the MOD that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Sergeant Major insisted and MOD, ever careful with the Public Purse, decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The MO arrived and instructed the Sarnt Major to 'drop 'em', which he did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sgt Major's and began to work back. 'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The Sergeant Major replied, ' Basra '.
I first heard that in the 70s except the testicles were in Viet Nam.