I went through a bad period of depression myself a number of years back. This was toward the end of my career as a graduate student. I had a complete nervous breakdown while trying to write up some research to be submitted to a journal. The first day, I went to work, and spent several hours hiding in the staircase because I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. After that I just didn't show up for two weeks.
The most depressing part was when I actually took steps to get myself out of the hole I was in. I tried calling some of those help lines. I spoke to one person, he asked if I was feeling suicidal. I replied that I wasn't really considering killing myself. He told me that I couldn't get help unless I was actually planning on suicide. Gee, thanks. Lesson learned: say you're going to kill yourself even if you are really not. No one will pay attention otherwise.
Next guy I spoke to started asking me about what I was feeling. He asked me, "Are your thoughts racing?" I replied that I wasn't sure, could he describe what he meant by that? He replied that if I had it, I would know. The way he said it, I was very sure that he thought I was trying to fake symptoms for the attention. This made me very angry. As it happens, I did have those symptoms, I just didn't think of it as racing thoughts. I thought of the feeling as 'ideas stuck in my head'.
Anyway, I eventually did get someone to agree to see me, so I went to a hospital. They said they couldn't help me, so they referred me to a private psychotherapist. He was actually helpful, but he was only able to see me once because my insurance specified that I needed to get help through my graduate institution. At long last, the school got me signed up for therapy sessions with the psychologist they approved, and I was able to get things back under control.
One thing I tried along the way was Paxil. I disliked the side effects I was experiencing, so I didn't continue using it after the first couple months. As it turns out, a number of my relatives on my mother's side also suffer from depression, and many of them use Paxil to good effect. Your choice.
Now here's the money shot. The most important thing I have learned about my depressions are that they are temporary. If I hang in there and keep my mind off how depressed I am, the feeling will eventually pass and I can get on with my life. Just hang in there. I hope that works for you as well.
