robert piepenbrink  | 26 Oct 2025 6:17 a.m. PST |
Mild problem here, and I'm hoping for a suggestion. By the grace of Etsy, I am soon to be blessed with a--well, "Ewok'is copyrighted, as is "Zarathustran Fuzzy" so let's just call him a live teddy bear--in a tuxedo. He will inhabit my SF bar, nightclub and casino complex, and I ordered him ahead of schedule because I really, really wanted him. BUT… How exactly has someone from a neolithic culture become wealthy enough to become a member of the high-stakes gambling, trophy wife and patron to adventurers set? A good answer might be the start of an adventure, if nothing else. My best ideas so far are (1) A large starship blew up close to his homeworld, and he discovered a really valuable part. But what part? (2) He sold--probably to the Bebellion--a part of his homeworld he didn't actually own. But I'd hate to think that of him. What else have we got? Thanks. |
 John the OFM | 26 Oct 2025 6:39 a.m. PST |
"Your world frightens and confuses me…"
YouTube link Perhaps, he is not what he initially appears to be…
Perhaps? 🤔 |
| Grattan54 | 26 Oct 2025 9:01 a.m. PST |
His lands had something valued, like gold ect, and a company bought that land for huge bucks. |
| robert piepenbrink | 26 Oct 2025 9:03 a.m. PST |
Indeed. Is it nor written in the Book of G'Karr that "No one here is exactly what he appears?" Good idea, Grattan. I'm now considering the possibility that his tribe found Kyber crystals--or possibly dilithium?--in the root ball of their tree, making them the Osage Indians of Endor. |
| SBminisguy | 26 Oct 2025 9:12 a.m. PST |
He rescued said spaceship in distress, along the way he helped the Crew steal the prized "Eye of Zarathustra" gemstone from a hostile tribe which happened to be the McGuffin Stone needed to repair the starship's energy matrix so they could boost off planet, and he went with them. His talents in social interaction and increasingly sophisticated spycraft served them well -- and ironically his wealth derives from the handcrafted totem fetish he carried with him which he felt was worthless and the Eye was prized by his people, but worthless to the Starfarers. A wealthy and jaded Patron bought his tribal fetish for an exorbitant sum as a "One of a kind, delghtfully primitive artwork from a people at the very Dawn of Evolution -- from a Proscribed World, too!!" |
| John the OFM | 26 Oct 2025 10:47 a.m. PST |
Like Peregrine in Peregrine Primus, he was his father's beloved eldest bastard son. But, alas!
Being a bastard, and more handsome, skilled in martial arts and a better cook, he was forced to journey to other lands, and worlds. His beloved father gifted him with his best second hand light saber and a fussy droid that had passed its inspection date. Plus a limited purse of quatloos. |
| Frederick | 26 Oct 2025 11:00 a.m. PST |
He was out hunting when an exploratory spaceship landed on his planet; he snuck inside to see what it was about and was trapped in the cargo hold when it took off. The crew, a bunch of well meaning academics, discovered him and were planning on returning him when their ship was attacked by pirates. Using his hunting skills, he dispatched all the pirates getting badly wounded in the process. The explorers' ship, badly damaged, limped to port and the academics, being grateful to him, brought him on planet to their research institute where they healed him up and discovered that he was extremely intelligent. Learning the language and enjoying the culture, he stayed at the institute and went out with the academics on expeditions as their aide and guard. On an expedition to a volcanic planet he discovered a strange grouping of crystals which turned out to be the key to a novel device allowing rapid interstellar communication. The institute patented this system and amassed embarassingly large amounts of wealth (for an academic institution) and royalties, some of which they shared with the discover of the crystals, our erstwhile hero who then retires from the institute to become said member of the high-stakes gambling, trophy wife and patron to adventurers A bit wordy but hope this is of interest |
 miniMo | 26 Oct 2025 11:34 a.m. PST |
When the patron of adventurers was on the backwoods planet, our hero whooped him at a game of darts, drank him under the table, then saved his life and kept all his stuff from getting robbed using those dart skills to dispatch the brigands.
They are now lifelong friends and our hero made his first fortune as a galactic dart champion of the catinas, |
 Editor in Chief Bill   | 26 Oct 2025 11:47 a.m. PST |
Obviously, he married well. Women can't resist teddy bears…  |
| robert piepenbrink | 26 Oct 2025 12:40 p.m. PST |
Excellent suggestions, one and all! And I'm somewhat ashamed of myself for failing to consider that a small ursinoid might be from the planet HoKa. (See Poul Anderson and Gordon Dickson.) In that case, he probably only BELIEVES he's rich for the duration of his present adventure, and we can only hope his tailor didn't extend credit. (People associating with Hokans lead such interesting lives.) All manner of possibilities open up before me! |
| JMcCarroll | 26 Oct 2025 2:13 p.m. PST |
He got hooked on space dust. (Or what ever the kids call it now) Was pressed into Teddy bear prostitution and made a killing on Trade Union rumors!
Known to play checkers with Jabba the Hutt, Eaten by Hut, he was spat out were he was given the name Fur ball! |
 Parzival | 26 Oct 2025 3:15 p.m. PST |
"My name is Bear. Fuzzy Bear." And then he orders honeyed mead with vodka, very dry, shaken, not stirred. (It's an appalling drink, but he likes it.) The rest writes itself. |
| robert piepenbrink | 26 Oct 2025 6:00 p.m. PST |
All very well, Parzival, and goes nicely with the casino. But don't I need to find at least one sexy female teddy bear in the same scale before proceeding with that story? A different one for every adventure, in fact? |
| John the OFM | 26 Oct 2025 6:36 p.m. PST |
Can his gf be Ms Piggy?
Oh wait. That's for a frog. Never mind. |
| Parzival | 26 Oct 2025 6:45 p.m. PST |
Hey, it's an open-minded galaxy. Jabba clearly admired the human female form. Who knows what a teddy bear finds appealing? |
| Stryderg | 26 Oct 2025 7:41 p.m. PST |
He learned to play cards from a less than reputable human crew. His acute hunting instincts (keen sense of smell, eyesight that notices micro twitches, etc) and furry countenance give him a decided advantage when playing poker. He's surprisingly good at it, so good that he bought the casino. Now, the casino brings in a steady income, but he really racks up the latinum in high-stakes games. |
