"Evil things done for the joy of it" Topic

I thought others might have a few things to 'confess'
Knowing a painting-snob/elitist was coming over, I once painted a miniature (quite well), but only on the front. As expected, said visitor could not resist picking up the miniature and turning it around. When the spluttering noises started, I simply said 'when it is on display, no one sees the back'. I have seen some nice shades of purple but the face colour that accompanied the resulting loss of linguistic skill was quite rewarding. On a side note, he actually painted the rear half.

I worked with a guy who had a thing about washing your hands after using the toilet. I found out that really grinded his mind if you did not.

I am a fanatical hand washer, (sometime before AND after I use the toilet) and just when the opportunity presents itself.

But……..

Knowing that this item was a "tick" that drove this guy nuts, whenever he would see me use the toilet AND we were alone, I would leave without washing my hands. I would use a paper towel on the door and go down the hall to the crew area using the sink there.

Around anyone else, I doubled my hand washing and made sure others would see me doing it. So if he brought it up, they would look at him sideways.

He went bat guano. A real Howard Hughes issue with him. Wouldn't read the newspaper after I had put it down (so I would try to read it before him and let him see me holding it), kept leaving me little notes without his name letting me know I was "dirty" and other things. This just made me do it more as I knew it was twisting up his mind. Hopefully losing sleep.

We worked together for almost 2 years and he never found out what I was doing.

We had some family over for a BBQ and among them was a 6 year old, an 8 year old and an 11 year old. As the day drew into the evening I decided to water our patio plants using a watering can.

The 6 year old asked if she could help out. So I said you can hold the watering can with two hands whilst it fills up from the tap, but tell me when it gets too heavy for you, so that I can turn the tap off. This all went to plan with no mishap.

The 8 year then asks if she can do the same as the 6 year old. Again all went to plan with no mishap.

The 11 year old decides she wants to have ago. Snatching the watering can off me (mistake 1), she held the watering can under the tap and turned the tap on. I offer to turn the tap off. 11 year responds in a gruff manner with "I'm old enough to turn off a tap" (mistake 2).

I take a few steps back, knowing full well what's going to happen. Sure enough, the watering can is getting heavy and the 11 year old proceeds to use two hands to hold it. Again I offer to help, which is refused.

Of course, the watering can is filling up and then it dawns on the 11 year old. She's using two hands to hold the watering can and cannot turn off the tap and therefore will get wet, or if she tries to turn off the tap, she can't hold the now full watering can with one hand and therefore will get wet.

With water overflowing from the watering can, the 11 year duly drops the watering can which promptly soaks her legs. In her shock she then tries to block the tap with both hands causing her to soak the rest of herself.

Net result, a completely soaked and sulky 11 year old, an exasperated mum and dad who cannot fathom how a 6 and 8 year old can water the garden without getting wet, but an 11 year old can't. As her dad said, "she won't do that again".

What is this, Reddit?

@ Norrins
That's not evil, that's a "teachable moment".

I work in Corporate IT….enough said as to what I have done…

I used to work with someone that had a real thing about crumpled bank notes. Hated them and had been seen at his desk pressing them flat with anything heavy that came to hand. When he left, part of his leaving gift was a paperweight. Thick clear resin on a baize base, with a scruntched up five pound note right in the center. Worth it just for his expression when he saw it.

Knowing that this item was a "tick" that drove this guy nuts, whenever he would see me use the toilet AND we were alone, I would leave without washing my hands.

I did this, but we had hydraulic doors on the restroom and the stairs, so I would go downstairs to wash my hands, operating the doors with a hip bump. (Why do you wash your hands after … don't you know where your genitalia has been? I wash them because I DO know where it has been …) That would take a minute or two, then I would stop by his office and handle things on his desk.

It's not evil. It's a cognitive bias exercise. You don't know what I did between leaving the restroom and entering your office. You assume.

BTW … is this the misanthrope poll? Will we get to vote on which action was the worst? I can do better … er … worse.

Take a paper towel and draw a smudgy hollow ring on it with a black magic marker.

Lure your mark to a company phone ("There's a call for you")

The mark picks up the phone, then hangs up after listening and finding out nobody is there.

You pick up the receiver, make a show of wiping off the ear piece, then show them the blackened paper towel. Make a snarky remark (like "Nice ear ring you have there!")

Psychology will make them rub at their ear to wipe off the shoe polish you supposedly put on the phone…

(Did this trick several times, including to a guy that was very picky about his appearance… ;-)

I was wondering if this was some sort of test, the sort you don't want to tick too many boxes of.

Does psychological warfare count? SWMBO reminded me of a time I was running a gothic horror RPG session. I had a cavalcade of vampire movies/clips going on in the background for atmosphere. The boss monster was a werewolf. The PCs came with all the wrong gear, even after several strong hints by NPCs that they might not be looking for the undead.

co worker who annoyed me hated the smell of onions. all my subs had double onions from then on…

Does farting in the elevator just before you get off count?

If 2 people are on an elevator, and there is a fart, there is no doubt.
But if there are 3…..
But you are leaving. So there is nae doot. But you don't really care, do you?

not a gnats eyelash!

I had a co-worker who had a habit of taking a stack of bills and counting it, then double-checking by turning it and counting the other end. One night after a bank run to get change, we gave her a stack of fifty one-dollar bills, with one in the centre folded in half, She counted, and got 49. She flipped it, and got 51. She kept this up for quite some time.

'And the whole store slow clapped and they made me their king, and a hot cashier asked me for sex'