"Military Jokes" Topic
13 Posts
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Tango01 | 19 Oct 2019 10:19 p.m. PST |
"Laugh out loud with these great Military Jokes from service time! If you think you can do better…" link Amicalement Armand |
Volleyfire | 20 Oct 2019 1:15 a.m. PST |
I thought jokes were supposed to be funny? Those were…… well you obviously had to be there. |
Bigby Wolf | 20 Oct 2019 4:08 a.m. PST |
Tame and lame. My fave was one of my own imagining, directed towards Bombardier (Cpl for non-gunners) Russ Abbot, when I was a lowly Lance-Bombardier … it went something like this: Me: Russ, have you ever ed your wife up the a**e? Russ: No? Me: You should try it mate. She ing loves it! This is why I was in the regimental cross-country team :-) |
William Warner | 20 Oct 2019 12:54 p.m. PST |
How do you tell the difference between a fairy tale and a war story? One begins "once upon a time" and the other begins "no s--t there I was." |
Tango01 | 20 Oct 2019 3:17 p.m. PST |
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Wolfhag | 20 Oct 2019 4:40 p.m. PST |
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! The liberal chick took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterward, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now." Wolfhag |
von Schwartz | 20 Oct 2019 4:44 p.m. PST |
Wolfhag He'll be here all week folks, don't miss the 11PM show, he works a little blue!! |
ninthdoc | 20 Oct 2019 7:01 p.m. PST |
I loved that last one! :) |
Wolfhag | 20 Oct 2019 10:34 p.m. PST |
OK guys. Here is something I prepared for a Marine Birthday Ball I MC'd a few years ago. Warning – this is military humor, it is meant to be offensive and not PC. If you get offended tell your mama, not me. Some of these will be familiar, others I ad libed and captioned myself. Enjoy: link Wolfhag |
JAFD26 | 21 Oct 2019 5:52 a.m. PST |
From Fort Dix… First soldier, "Sure looks like rain" Second soldier, "Yeah, but the mess sergeant insists it's coffee." |
robert piepenbrink | 21 Oct 2019 2:21 p.m. PST |
I shall always treasure a sign outside our mess hall at Hohenfels--"2/41 FA Dining Facility--Death from a Fork." Or my father describing being lectured by his Chief at Indianhead in WWII--"I don't EVER want to hear about one of youse guys being brought in by them Marine guards coming in late off pass: you all know where the hole in the fence is." |
pzivh43 | 21 Oct 2019 4:47 p.m. PST |
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Tango01 | 22 Oct 2019 11:17 a.m. PST |
Ha-Ha-Ha!……. Amicalement Armand |
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