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"George Lucasí EWOKS vs H Beam Piperís FUZZIES?" Topic


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Action Log

14 Jun 2018 4:58 a.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

  • Crossposted to TMP Poll Suggestions board


493 hits since 13 Jun 2018
©1994-2018 Bill Armintrout
Comments or corrections?

Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 3:07 p.m. PST

A) Combat
If facing each other in equal numbers, which side wins?

B) Taste Test
Which ones make a better snack, once you get rid of all the hair? :)

Dan
PS. Just in case someone doesn't know about H Beam Piper's novel:
gutenberg.org/ebooks/18137
https://archive.org/details/LittleFuzzy

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robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 3:23 p.m. PST

Hmm. I'd have said "equal numbers" begs the question, since Ewoks seem to have better organization and work in larger groups. In arena combat, I'd give an edge to Fuzzies and those choppers against Ewoks with spear and sling or shortbow. In a woods, my money is on the Ewoks. The Fuzzies will be hit with arrows and rocks all day without ever closing to chopper range, and every time they think they're closing, it will be another Ewok pit or snare trap.

I think if I were a Fuzzy, I'd sell the Ewok forest to the Charterless Zarathustra Company for a pallet load of hasu-foosa, and then leave town before anyone realized we didn't own the place.

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 3:25 p.m. PST

Oh, and as for which one makes the better snacks, bet on the Ewoks who at least have cooks. As nearly as I can tell, the Fuzzies eat everything raw. I'd lose a lot of weight on the Raw Landprawn Diet.

Katzbalger13 Jun 2018 3:57 p.m. PST

Note that just about all the critter we eat now consume raw food, so not sure what the Fuzzies' lack of cooking has to do with anything…after all, we are talking about a taste test of Ewok steak vs Fuzzy steak, right?

Rob

Wackmole9 Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 4:25 p.m. PST

A) Combat
If facing each other in equal numbers, which side wins?

Fuzzies would win better Orgization and they at one time had space flight

B) Taste Test
Which ones make a better snack, once you get rid of all the hair? :)

Ewok make might fine ribs and Fuzzies are skinny little tid bits.

Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 4:37 p.m. PST

Katzbalger: "so not sure what the Fuzzies' lack of cooking has to do with anything"

LOL. Well, in Robert Piepenbrink's defense, my original B question didn't include the "once you get rid of all the hair" phrase.

Dan

Frederick Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 5:03 p.m. PST

I would put my money on the Ewoks

I suspect the Fuzzies, though, would be better eatin'

Personal logo Saber6 Supporting Member of TMP Fezian13 Jun 2018 5:44 p.m. PST

Fuzzies hands down.

I'll let Jack Holloway see you about the second question (and the Fuzzies have friends in high (orbital) places)

Allen57 Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 6:04 p.m. PST

I hated the Fuzzy novels almost as much as I hated the Star Wars movie with the Ewoks.

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP13 Jun 2018 6:25 p.m. PST

The question was "which one makes a better snack?" Not my fault if the question is ambiguous.

I am definitely in favor of "getting rid of all the hair" first regardless. I once ate what a Korean restaurant was selling as a hamburger which still had hair on it. Cultural diffusion isn't always straightforward.

Calico Bill13 Jun 2018 6:45 p.m. PST

Fuzzies to win, Ewoks to eat.

Daithi the Black14 Jun 2018 1:16 a.m. PST

Equal numbers goes to Ewoks. They're twice as big (at least) and use weapons with longer reach. Both probably have equivalent sociak orhanization skills for small groups, but Ewoks organize better for larger groups.

I refuse to eat other sentient beings as a matter of principle (I've even stopped eating octopus, just in case,) so the snack question is irrelevant to me.

ScottWashburn Sponsoring Member of TMP14 Jun 2018 4:26 a.m. PST

The Ewoks clearly have far more combat experience. They obviously must have waged war on each other before the Empire showed up to give them a common enemy. I mean they know how to build catapults, for heaven's sake! The Fuzzies on the other hand are peace-loving and gentle creatures. No real contest.

Piper is one of my favorite authors and I loved the first Fuzzy novel and I can't understand why Steven Spielberg hasn't made a movie out of it.

CalypsoCommando14 Jun 2018 2:04 p.m. PST

My money's on the Ewoks – they appear to have a technological edge and higher social organization (shamanistic religion, hierarchical governance) as well as more complex hunting/trapping practices (the fuzzies only hunt smaller-than-they-are creatures individually, the Ewoks ensnare game as big as wookies- not to mention animals whose skulls are large enough to wear as hats.)

Winston Smith Supporting Member of TMP14 Jun 2018 4:08 p.m. PST

The Ewoks have been decimated by the Endor Holocaust, so would be a pushover.
link

Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP14 Jun 2018 8:44 p.m. PST

Geesh. I had no idea.

So there's a scenario right there … the slightly more warlike Ewoks try to kick the Fuzzies out of their forest world. Each side fights for the survival of their species. Could end up being quite an epic battle, one for the Ages. :)

The first wave might be an aerial attack:

picture

Dan
PS. So I guess these other inhabitants of Endor don't make it either:
link

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Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP14 Jun 2018 8:57 p.m. PST

Daithi the Black: "I refuse to eat other sentient beings as a matter of principle (I've even stopped eating octopus, just in case,) so the snack question is irrelevant to me."

Apparently Ewoks don't have that problem. :)

Dan

picture

trynda170115 Jun 2018 4:42 a.m. PST

With the kafuffle over the similarity of Heinleins' Flat Cats and Gerrolds' Tribbles on Star Trek, was there anything similar over Fuzzies and Ewoks when "Return of the Jedi" premiered?

Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP15 Jun 2018 1:37 p.m. PST

Trynda1701

Very good question!

Dan

Zephyr115 Jun 2018 2:46 p.m. PST

B) Taste Test
Which ones make a better snack, once you get rid of all the hair? :)

Dead or alive, you don't want to get an Ewok's fur wet. You won't EVER get rid of that "wet dog" smell… :-p

Covert Walrus15 Jun 2018 4:42 p.m. PST

With the kafuffle over the similarity of Heinleins' Flat Cats and Gerrolds' Tribbles on Star Trek, was there anything similar over Fuzzies and Ewoks when "Return of the Jedi" premiered?

Not really. Most SF film fans aren't literate SF fans as well, so the whole thing was missed. Plus Piper doesn't have Heinlein's popular clout though his fans are very loyal.

Cyrus the Great15 Jun 2018 10:10 p.m. PST

I prefer a Chewewzies. That's a fuzzie stuffed inside an ewok stuffed inside a chewbacca. Slow roasted on the grill and slathered in barbecue sauce. Good eats!

Personal logo Cacique Caribe Supporting Member of TMP16 Jun 2018 4:13 a.m. PST

Sounds much better than a gelatinous Tofuzzy!

Dan
https://i.gifer.com/5uVI.gif

Cyrus the Great17 Jun 2018 9:22 p.m. PST

They say that you can make a gelatinous Tofuzzy taste like anything. Yeah, anything other than food!

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