"If You Find Aliens, Who Do You Call?" Topic

"Let's say your house is on fire, or overrun by a gang of psychotic raccoons. You don't hesitate—you take out your phone, and you call the fire department, or animal control, and then firemen/raccoon-wranglers are promptly dispatched to your home. These are well-established protocols, essential to the maintenance of a mostly not-on-fire, feral-animal-free society.

But what about UFOs? What about extraterrestrial beings? Faced with some six-eyed slime-being rooting through your trash, or a spacecraft idling above your backyard (provided it's not Elon Musk's "nuclear alien UFO" again), who exactly would you think to call? And what would whoever you called do, when you called them?

These questions—suddenly pressing, what with the recent revelation that the Pentagon had spent $22 USD million between 2008 and 2012 to investigate mysterious, potentially alien-related phenomena—form the basis of this week's Giz Asks. We reached out to dozens of agencies, everyone from NASA to the Center for Disease Control to the NYPD to find out who to call in such a situation, and what (if any) protocols are in place when these things are reported, and we came up mostly empty-handed—though the astronomers and independent institutes we spoke with did provide us with some hope. The US government might, at present, be grievously ill-prepared for first contact, but there are countless hobbyists and professionals keeping an eye on what's happening up there…"
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Amicalement
Armand

Good to know ! But it's pretty obvious who you call … The FBI, and press 0 for the X-files …

In reality … if we are prepared for 1st Contact, if it has not happened already. It's classified … either way …

Interesting responses. Thanks Tango!

Ghost Busters !

Errr….I'm sure they'd help.

No one because that only involves the government who will mess up everything.

Wouldn't call the FBI if my cat was kidnapped so their out.
USAF

I'm with Legion.

I could also call this guy, but he'll probably make me "disappear."

Idling over my back yard or in the neighborhood? The Carol Stream Police. I don't have the FBI on speed dial, nor the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. I figure the police will take care of that part if it turns out I am not hallucinating, meanwhile I will take some pictures and NOT, repeat NOT go out to meet them. Especially carrying a white flag.

Most important of all – Tell it to the Marines.

If you are of the mindset that your first reaction to a crisis is to call someone; you are not long for this world.

1-800-HI-SCULY

In town? The local police. Out of town? The state police. Either way, I would let them figure out who to call next.

Yves Adele Harlow

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There is still considerable societal stigma attached to those who report UFO sightings*, so I don't think that I would call anyone. I would maybe take a picture, but mostly I would try to get away from the radiation, time distortions, implanted devices, and anal probes.

*We did elect a president who had seen a UFO and had even made a written report, but the stigma remains.

Call the UK Immigration Enforcement Hotline and report an immigration offence. Unless the aliens have a valid visa, of course.

Lock n' Load and see if they bleed green.

I would call Bubba. He lives down the street, has a pickup and a shot gun. Let him deal with it.

Most important of all – Tell it to the Marines.

Plus the ARMY, USAF, USN[even though the USMC is part of the USN !], and CG … at least …

If these "Aliens" can travel across light years of space or are interdimensional, it's going to take a lot more that just one of the Armed Forces !

Of course my POV has always been anyone/thing that is that high tech are monitoring our TV feeds, etc. If they know what's good from them, they have already figured out. These "humans" have mastered slaughtering each other.

Sometimes for little to no reason or excuse, other than, e.g. religion, race, ethnicity, etc. So these "humans" would probably not be very "friendly" to an entire specie(s) from another world/dimension.

Just watch the news and TV shows … Yikes !!!! Those humans are crazy !!!!

Will Smith?

These "humans" have mastered slaughtering each other.

Well, we like to think we have. By Galactic standards, we may of course be rank amateurs.

"Tell it to the Marines."

It's old slang for "Yea sure".

"In the 1942 comedy Once Upon a Honeymoon, Cary Grant is forced to read a pro-Nazi propaganda radio broadcast. He "warns" of the invincibility of the German war machine and instructs the Americans to be sure to tell the Army and the Navy and, above all, "Tell it to the marines!!" Naturally, the Nazis didn't get the reference."

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(big smile)

Amicalement
Armand

Well, they are "aliens," so in the U.S. you would call ICE (Immigration & Customs Enforcement), wouldn't you?

Well, we like to think we have. By Galactic standards, we may of course be rank amateurs.

Oh … let's hope not …

It's old slang for "Yea sure".

Yes, I know … I was just trying to be humorous … Since if Aliens did land … and were hostile … we'd need every branch of the military from every country on the planet. Because … well they Are Aliens !!!!

Should we call the Hystery Channel and ask for Giorgio Tsoukalos?

You mean no one has yet ?

Meanwile, in an alternate universe.

Dan

In July 1952 several object were picked up on radar flying around Washington DC. Hundreds of people saw them, they were even video taped. The Air Force had fighters try to intercept them. And when all the people who saw the UFO's flying around in formation called the police and the military. The air force came out and said it was swamp gas. lol

Look up 1952 Washington DC flap. When the Aliens were circling our capital and might have landed on the WH lawn, if the air force hadn't chased them away. hahahaha

But as a retired Illinois police officer, our department protocol when someone called to report a UFO. Our dispatch center gave them the number to MUFON. If a person claimed they had a physical contact with something not from our planet, Meteorite, or space debris. (I guess if it was a living alien or spaceship, we'd follow the same procedure? lol) We had to respond, secure the area and contact Emergency Management Agency and Dept. Homeland Security. If there was injured people, a fire or possible hazardous material. We'd also call out our Fire Dept. Hazmat Team, who would also request Emergency Management Agency respond. IF nothing was located, and thought the person had a mental illness. We'd contact a family member or caregiver. Make sure they were not a danger to themselves or others. As long as they were not a danger to themselves or others. We'd thank them and go back on patrol.

HA- HA, Dan. I had to google him to get the spelling of his name. That meme was one of several that popped up. I thought of posting it here but didn't. Thanks for being a bigger man, err…um HUMAN than I.

Lol. Glad to help!

Dan
PS. And in an alternate reality, it is the planet of the Greys that gets the visits, abductions and "probes". :)

Only one call, really – my parish priest. "Father, I've got some out of town visitors, discussion might be interesting…"

Other than that, I'm not calling anyone. Cops and/or federal types will show up eventually. Id do the whole hospitality thing – c'mon in, want a drink? Just about to put some meat and veggies on the grill, join us. Meet the wife and kids, y'all been traveling long? How was your flight?

You know, like a civilized sapient does.

There has been many LEOs, Military, etc., who have reported seeing UFOs and LEOs/Mil aircraft even trying to follow them, worldwide.

There was an incident nearby where I live, about 6-8 miles away in @ '94(?). From my home. The LEOs were interviewed, the USAFR Base literally up the road, stated their radar saw nothing.

The local residents called the local LEOs, in Liberty, OH. A suburb of Youngstown, OH. Then other local LEOs got involved as the UFO moved from one nearby town to another. Even near the Air Base !

So there were a number of locals as well as a number LEOs from various nearby jurisdictions. That reported/saw the UFO. I Saw the interviews in the media …

Even the show Paranormal Witness did a piece on this, with many LEO interviews. Even at least one police car stopped, failed to function, even the radio. When the car was near the low hovering UFO. At least that is what the LEO said in the interview.

So I don't know what to tell ya ? Appears there were other incidents here as well … See for yourself > link

The aliens must know there is very little intelligent life in this area … believe me !

Whoever runs the trailer park? Because you know that's going to be the first place the aliens are going to be seen…

Stepman for the Win!

LOL. Well, to be fair, as Ironwolf already explained above the aliens did try DC in the early 50s, and it got them nowhere.

So now they'd rather reach out to rural people (in most countries) than politicians. Can't say I blame them.

Dan
PS. The gaming possibilities are endless:
TMP link
TMP link
TMP link

Seeing as how the Aliens don't seem to want to try to contact our politicians and diplomats any longer … behold our first real line of defense:

TMP link
TMP link

Dan

Humans are Among Us. hahahaha Now that would make a good scifi made for tv movie!

I picture the scene now…..

An Alien ship from space lands near an abandoned gas station on the edge of a town, in the south west USA. The Captain of the ship asks his most experienced explorer to take the newest member of the crew on his first recon on a foreign planet. The two aliens suit up, the younger one all cocky and ready to prove he knows his stuff.

As they leave the ship the veteran alien tells the younger alien to stay close and don't touch anything. The younger alien rolls his eyes and kicks some weeds out of his way. As they approach the abandoned gas station, the older alien stops and tells the younger one they should not approach the gas station. The younger one looks around and seeing the gas pumps, points and says "we should try to make contact with this species." The older alien shakes his head and says it would be best if they avoid them. The younger alien snorts and marches up to the gas pumps.

The younger alien steps up to the first pump, stands as tall as his three foot height will let him. Placing his fists on his hips, the young alien states, "Take me to your leader." After a few second pause, the young Alien repeats himself. "Take me to your leader." Looking over his shoulder at the veteran alien, he see's the older alien ducking down and shaking his head at him in an attempt to get the younger alien to stop.

With a snort, the younger alien draws his laser and points it at the gas pump and demands to see this creatures leader. After no response the young alien blasts the gas pump with his ray gun. With a loud explosion and blast of fire and fury the gas pump goes up in flames. The pressure from the blast throws the young alien dozens of feet backwards.

The young alien is laying on his back, his space suit marked with burn spots and smoke curling up from him. The veteran alien steps up and looks down at him and asks, "Are you ok?" The younger alien is dazed but not injured, with a grunt he sits up and looking up at the veteran alien asks, "We've never been here before. So how did you know that species was so dangerous?"

The older wiser alien squats down and says, "In all my travels and all the species I've met. I learned a long time ago, never mess with a race that can wrap its sex organ around its waist and stick it in its own ear."

Good one Ironwolf!!

+1 Bashytubits

I'm with nvdoyle, fire up the BBQ, bring out the libations and invite them to a party.

Everybody likes a BBQ & Brews !

Seeing as how the Aliens don't seem to want to try to contact our politicians and diplomats any longer

Aliens must watch the news too !

Simple. Call whichever tabloid outfit will pay you the most cash for an exclusive. Deposit the check, and then call the authorities.

Best way to get rid of the Aliens is to drop a dime on them to their equivalent of the underworld. Chances are they've skipped out on a big debt and are trying to hide out on a worse-than-backwater world. The goons sent should take care of the problem… ;-)

Yes. Fire up the barbie. What wine goes best with Aliens, do you think?

Ironwolf, that was priceless. Great storytelling.

Dan
TMP link

Been watching Ancient Aliens on the History Channel much of the day. We are doomed !!! DOOMED I tell ya !!!!!

Lol. I can only stand to watch one episode at a time. My BS filter system always clogs up after just one episode. Sometime much, much sooner than that. :)

Dan

"Yes, this is the aliens are among us cat hotline, what can I do for you today?"

Sure, you could "tell it to the marines" but you'd have to be sure not to use too many big words …

As for the airforce – just leave a message with the front desk for them.

LOL !

Well even if a wall was built along any US border for any reasons … Aliens could just fly over it with their UFOs …

"Let's say your house is on fire, or overrun by a gang of psychotic raccoons. You don't hesitate—you take out your phone, and you call the fire department, or animal control, and then firemen/raccoon-wranglers are promptly dispatched to your home. These are well-established protocols, essential to the maintenance of a mostly not-on-fire, feral-animal-free society.

But what about UFOs? What about extraterrestrial beings? "

The solution to the ET problem is in the first sentence: You call Rocket Raccoon! ;-)