"When the Webmaster Can't Win" Topic

I was reading about this lately, and thought to share. I think it helps explain a lot of what goes on with regard to internet forums and trolls.

Let's say we have Webmaster A, who runs an internet forum. And we have User B, who uses that forum.

User B makes a complaint about something that happened on the forum. Webmaster A looks at User B's complaint, agrees with him, and makes the desired change. Everyone should be happy, right? Win-Win?

Not in all cases. The act of resolving the complaint, even though it was resolved in User B's favor, reinforces the fact that Webmaster A is the one who has control of the situation – it is "his" forum. Therefore, for some personality types, User B comes away feeling resentful, disempowered, and invalidated even though everything was done as they requested.

For this type of personality, they may actually prefer public complaining on the forum rather than resolving their concern privately, because acting out in public gives them more sense of power and control, and they may imagine that others support their views.

The problem for the Webmaster is that there is little he can do to break the cycle. User B complains, the issue is resolved, User B resents his lack of power; repeat and repeat until finally User B expresses his pent-up resentment in a cataclysmic event ("I'm leaving!").

As I read about this today, I couldn't help but think of a certain former TMP member. He alone probably generated a third to half of all the forum complaints. He had a particular board that was his focus, and he would let me know every time he thought someone stepped over the line of what he thought was appropriate for that board.

I spent a lot of time trying to resolve his concerns. Sometimes, I agree with him. Sometimes, I thought he was too sensitive, but I would try to meet him halfway. And sometimes, I had to disagree with him.

But no matter what I did, he just became angrier and angrier… until finally he "blew up" and left TMP. I'm not sure there was anything I could have done to ever satisfy him.

What causes a person to become a "Resentful" User B?

First, it seems to occur to people with control issues. It is difficult for them to feel comfortable in an environment, such as an online forum, where they perceive someone else as having "absolute control."

Second, it seems to happen to people who have a strong need to be seen as an authority on some topic. Based on their self-perceived authority, they have a strong sense of "the right way" things should be done – becoming subject to a Webmaster's control, therefore, threatens their sense of authority. These people may appear to be "concern trolling" when they are actually seeking validation of their own authority in their field/subject.

Just thought I'd pass that along. I think it's another tool to help understand why some people behave the way they do when online.

People like that aren't worth wasting time over.

Better to cut your losses and not look back.

You can't please everyone.

Do what I do. Just don't care so much about the 2 percent of the people that try to consume 98 percent of your time.

Ok, who let the cyberman out of the basement. I thought we had it securely locked up down there with the rest of the critters.

There are a lot of deletions, what happened here? User B went on a rampage?!

Wow, who said neutron bombs were scrapped?

Bill's even nuking himself – must be those little Davy Crocketts he's using, with the very limited range, and the large blast zone, causing the fratricide.

Interesting thread.

well, this is an odd thread – more deletes than readable posts – what happened here?

Interesting thread.

Especially for aficionados of Deletions

What happened? Was it the Russians?

Doug

All my fault. I put in a Monty Python link.
I'd forgotten Bill was a Goodies fan.

It'll never happen again.

????????????????
Was this a Phyrric Victory or defeat for the forces of Webmaster.
The signs are hard to read ;-)

As for the mysterious User B; some people just enjoy getting angry about stuff

To the webmaster, thanks it is very educational for us all when you share some of your challenges. We should especially appreciate your patience and concern for the Forum.

Good lord, someone came in and deleted what I'm assuming are all the interesting posts

As I recall, many were far less interesting than you might think.

Not sure why so many were deleted.

It's something of a collector's piece with the editor deleting his own posts.

One for the scrapbook.

Doug

Remember, when one offensive comment is deleted all the responses are also deleted.

Good grief! The scenario has gone!

Shame on you ochoin. The Monty Python link was the straw that broke the donkey's neck ;-)

Better return to the fantasy boards ….

Best regards,

Jabsen

To be fair, I don't believe there were any offensive comments,at least down to my post,after which I went to bed.

Edit: Oops! That sounds incriminating! I just said it was becoming a bizarre thread!

Seems Our Editor agreed.

Gosh….

John T

No good deed goes unpunished.

Well as I see it. It's Bill party … and he can play it anyway that he thinks is appropriate. And as many of you know… I've been DH'd many, many times in the past. I know sometimes I may not always agree with Bill's decisions. But if I don't like it, I don't have to come to TMP. As some have done in the past. Along with some who were locked out by Bill for some reason(s). He is judge, jury and … well you know …

Nobody was Dawghoused. It was just. . .getting weird.

Dear Bill

It's called narcissism.

It's not control or power on the part of user B. It's that user B is a narcissist to whom even the punishment of the person he is affronted by is not enough. He requires not only the annihilation of that offending person but the unqualified support, endorsement and approval of everyone, including the webmaster.

You can never win with people like that.

Indeed, Otto. Indeed.

Otto +1

Nobody was Dawghoused.

The day is young …

Because he's all seeing, all knowing and all powerful?

I think this would be a much more interesting thread if everything was nuked…

I must have missed something good when even the editor's posts are deleted.

I think the them Sneaky Russkies may have hacked TMP !!!!?!?!?!?!?