"Thing You Must Never Do at the Wargames Table" Topic

According to custom or superstition, what should you never do while wargaming?

Don't make fun of other people's customs.

Throw up

On a more serious note…

Never say, "Roll anything but a 6. (Or, 1.)"

I played in a Waterloo game waaaay back that holds legendary status. I was teamed up with a friend on the French side. He maneuvered his forces brilliantly, extending along and beyond the Anglo-Allied line. He promptly crowed, "I'm gonna blow your doors off." And then… the kiss of death. Some of the worst dice rolling imaginable. He could not have done much worse if the pips had fallen off the dice by themselves. Needless to say the doors were definitely NOT blown off!

"Roll anything but a 6."

flip the table and then realize that all the figures and terrain are yours.

Agree, never say roll anything but (add number of your choice).

Farting seems rather inconsiderate.

All of the Above!

No beer on the table.

Never touch other peoples figures with hands covered in snack debris/grease. It's not nice to coat someone's blood, sweat, and tear paint jobs with cheetos dust…

Don't touch the other guys figures without permission.

For a superstition, say out loud "I feel pretty good about the odds" before rolling.

superstition, Never attack or occupy a church.

Bring voodoo dolls.

Discharging firearms in the house without the host's permission.

Inattentive hands and using an army with pike formations.

Don't touch the other guys figures without permission.

… or dice, terrain, rule book, etc.

Don't give others advice unless they give permission, whether you ask or they ask.

Don't critique others' actions unless they give permission. Don't ask for permission about this one.

Don't quibble over mm of position or single degrees of facing.

Don't forget to thank the host/setters up.

I agree with these, but they really aren't wargaming specific:

Don't make fun of other people's customs.

Farting seems rather inconsiderate.

Throw up

Caveat for the last one, I take a lot of meds for some medical problems, so I can get sudden onset migraines and nausea. I've added know where the closest trash can is to identify all the exits and stand where you can track who is behind you at any given time.

Don't pick you nose and then pick up some dice from the common dice pool to make your roll -- ick!!

Drop a deuce.

Do not Hit the table with your fist after a bad die roll.

A fellow did just that at a game I was in and every figure jumped up several inches and came down on its side. Idiot…

Expect your brand new tank / ship / unit not to blow up / sink / run away in turn 1

Never interrupt your opponent when he's making a mistake. Apologies to Mr. N Bonaparte.

Eat Cheetos.

Lean over the table with an un-tucked shirt and rake off units or figures with it from the edge of the table. Watched this happen several times.

I also believe that you never touch your opponents dice even if they roll to your side of the table, Bad JUJU!

+1 to JimDuncanUK:
Beer should be _in_ the wargamer, not on the table!

Wear pants

Huh?! What SHOULD you wear?!

Nothing.

Is it possible to "unthink" something?

Cause I got one that needs to go. Now.

Win.

Never tell me the odds.

Never roll dice to resolve an attack without first getting the attention of the player who commands the troops you are attacking.

Once at a convention a player informed me that he had just rolled ten sixes (out of 12 dice) in an artillery attack on my troops when it took a 6 to hit-I had been busy resolving an attack with another player on his side when my opponent claimed to have made his exceptionally good roll (but he made no attempt to get my attention before he rolled). If I had known the guy I might have accepted his word as to the roll, but since he was a stranger I was not inclined to do so-particularly inasmuch as he had miscalculated the number of dice he was entitled to roll for the attack. The correct number of dice was 8, not 12.

Make out with your stupendously hot girlfriend (or boyfriend).

Put your drink on the table.
Eat anything, then handle someone else's figures.

Make the tank noise when you move your Tigers

link

Make the tank noise when you move your Tigers

This is required in our games. :)

Onomatopoeia is even more essential in chariot games.

I second the Cheetohs comment! We had a doofus who cam regularly and his weekly contribution was typically the cheapest, nastiest cheese puffs he could find. Guy never invested a cent in gaming but complained how cautious we were about of figures – after he picked a box of another guy's figures off a chair and tipped it sideways to put it somewhere else because he wanted to sit down.

So many of the above.

Also, never lean over with your elbows on the GeoHex (or any similar foam terrain).

Never put ANY snacks, especially drinks, anywhere on the table. I would enforce "no food and drink" in the gaming, area, period, but then players would disappear…………..

Never sweep up the dice after announcing the results the instant they hit the table. I have seen this done too many times after a supposedly spectacular result…

Never use a measuring stick to drill holes in the terrain. I bounced a cad from a convention game for doing this. Bounced with extreme prejudice.

Move terrain out of the way to make room for his pizza box. Dude wasn't even playing at our table and didnt even offer a slice.

Put a drink on the table, it will get bumped and the liquid will head straight towards the nearest most expensive rule book or similar, if its mine, I hope your carrying cash because you just bought it.

Come anywhere near my table with out having bathed recently, I loath body odour, bad breath or cheap body spray for that matter. Have a wash or stay home.

Never ever sit at the table with an attitude, you got a problem, go away and deal with it. I don't want to hear about what your misses thinks about your clandestine spending habits, I really don't care and don't have time for it, I'm here to relax and play a game.

Dont just sit at a table to watch and just dribble out constant verbal diarrhoea about unrelated rubbish. Sometimes its hard enough to concentrate when you are stressed, losing, learning some new rules or what ever and some dork is sitting there banging on about whether or not a Jedi Knight wears underpants or if Justin Beaver is gay……….

Cheat. Yeah I get the odd bump, fudge or mistake, but some guys out there are just plain repeat offending, cheaters and should be called out for what they really are.

Use the dice cup or use the dice tower or use the electronic dice roller. I'm sick and tired of asshats mishandling the dice.

Dice etiquette.
1) Never call an opponent's die as cocked. Allow them the option.
2) Never count die rolls that leave the table. Always reroll.
3) An honest drop and honest roll. I've seen too many simply turn a dice cup over upside down on the table and call it roll when the dice are stacked on top of each other.
4) Blame an inanimate object like a particular set or color of die for your poor tactical decisions. "Our faults, dear Brutus, lie not in the stars but in ourselves".

Confession time: Don't knock against the table when standing up to move. ESPECIALLY during an individually-based skirmish game.

D'oh!

Now a serious one, if you play a game that involves counting. Do not yell out numbers incessantly while in a resolution phase. It is funny once. After once, it is truly annoying and may actually cost either party the game, depending on the mis-count.

Do not practice the roll and snatch where the dice are grabbed from hte table before they barely stopped rolling, then the surely perfect result is announced.

Rolling dice right into the midst of miniature trees, houses and figures. Then knocking more items down as your fat grubby hands search for the dice.