"Wargaming: an ex-hobby" Topic

I was curious why people drop out of the hobby & posted a thread on TMP talk to initiate a discussion.

Not overly useful'''''
TMP link

So I might try here, as a poll topic.

Why do people drop the wargaming hobby?

1. Grow up (offensive, possibly, but it includes me)
2. Life (ie family, work, kids) intrudes
3. Just got bored
4. Expense
5. No one to game with
6. ?

Please feel free to add, comment, share.

2 and 5. It is just crazy difficult to squeeze anything in when you own a house that needs to be kept up and you don't have a dedicated work area so that everything does not have to be pulled out and then put back every time you want to paint something.

Could be difficult….😜
It could be argued, that people here, have not dropped out of the hobby. People who have dropped out, are not here to read this poll. 😉

Switch to video or computer games (if you consider that a separate hobby)

Picked up another hobby.

Thinking back over the 30 some years of gaming, I've known several people who have given up the hobby. The reasons have varied quite a bit.

One gave up, because his wife thought it was weird and kept changing her yoga classes and whatnot to whichever night we would game. She told him that if he was out at bars, chasing women, that she could understand that, but playing with miniatures was just too weird, and really bothered her. He tried to game for a couple of years, but finally gave up, as she always found ways to interfere. A real bummer, because he was a great guy and a blast at the table.

Another read a book by a combat photographer that addressed the glorification of war by our society. He came to feel that gaming did the same to some extent, at least for him, and decided that he couldn't game any more. Interesting event, as he had been a long time gamer, and also a blast at the table.

Two guys retired and went sailing. Not enough room on the boat for figs. One really enjoyed miniatures gaming, but wasn't into the miniatures in a hobby sort of way. Figs were work for which he had no passion. the other quite enjoyed the figs, but had a lifelong thing for sailing, and his wife always tried to push him away from the figs also.

I know a couple of guys who found woman, drinking, divorce and wrecking their pickup trucks to be more important. Basically chose lives full of bad choices that left no time for hobbies.

One broke up with her boyfriend, who was part of our group, didn't know any other gamers, and wasn't comfortable gaming with us otherwise, as we were acquainted with the boyfriend first. It was a shame, as she was a much more serious gamer than he was. He left the group several months later for a life of drug addiction (part of the reason for their breakup).

Three guys from my original group moved away for jobs and to further education, two of them visit every now and then and will play the odd game, gut don't pursue the hobby otherwise. One of those two does a lot of computer gaming.

We also had guys fade away, because the hobby took some work, and they just didn't want to put anything in into it.

So, reasons to add to the list:

6. Significant other thought the hobby was weird.
7. Philosophical reasons.
8. Incompatible life choices (careers, sailing, debauchery)
9. Laziness.

Add club politics and unpleasant people on internet forums (not TMP, for the most part, I hasten to add) for 10 and 11 and – as Londo Mollari said "I think you have it surrounded, Mr Garibaldi"

John T

I think a lot of people drift away due to 2) – especially those who start gaming in their teens/early twenties

Good news, some drift back when they have more time

The lack of dedicated work space could have pushed me away, or at least "away" from miniatures though maybe not from gaming overall. Much easier to be a roleplayer or tabletop boardgame player, especially these days with the huge outpouring of fantastic boardgames of all types.

I am building a house to create the workspace for miniatures!

Mostly 2. But many of those do come back at a later stage.

Most of those options, plus some other ones listed, are temporary states as many do return once a decent club, or family life, or travelling with work, gets sorted.

unpleasant people on internet forums

There was a certain forum full of self-important & rather obsessed & unbalanced people that I used to visit quite regularly.

Partly because of the denizens and partly because HaT don't produce much anymore, I now rarely go to the HaT forum. Much more pleasant all round.

It's easy enough to avoid those with halitosis of the personality, John.

I know several people who 'grew out of it' after high school.

I was just forced to take a 6 month break becuase of returning to school. Between 2 high school kids, a full course load and trying to work in between I just didn't have time to make it down to the club to play.

My best friend quit for several years because he had to change his life around. He was working in a dead end job, miserable with his life and extremely over weight. He lost a couple hundred pounds, got a new job that brought him joy, found a good girl to start settling down with and was the happiest I've seen him in 20 years. He was worried that gaming (video, RPGs and minis) was full of old habits that were ruining his life before and didn't think that he could separate them. Although I was sad that he was no longer part of my hobby that brings me great joy, I was glad that he had improved his life so much. Lately we get together at a new club to game once a month, he's much more confident and I'm very happy to be gaming with him again.

A combination of most of what's on the list is entirely possible and plausible. Health can also play a part in why some drop the hobby-I've known one old gamer who gave it up due to illness.

2 and 5.

I drifted away when I had kids and didn't really come back until they were almost out of high school. I also have periods where there is just kind of a boredom/ennui that leaves me doing other things but I always come back.

2 and 5. But I don't people really ever give the hobby up; They just put it off until circumstance change.

Kevin

There is the ultimate reason: Death.

We've lost many great gamers over the last few years who suddenly passed away. Allen Curtis jumps to my mind right away. I miss him.

1. Grow up (offensive, possibly, but it includes me)
2. Life (ie family, work, kids) intrudes
3. Just got bored
4. Expense
5. No one to game with
6. New hobby takes over
7. Illness
8. Old age

I've had all these things happen to me over the years. Right now I'm at #5, which saps away enthusiasm from starting new projects. Though #7 and #8 are taking their toll as well. But I'm still hanging in there. :-)

2,4,5, with '4' being a result of '2'.

I'm trying to drift back in. I've actually painted figures over the past year, and even played a few games of DBA.

5. No one to game with

Never been a problem for me. I play most of my games solo. In fact that is probably the reason that I am still in the hobby!!

6

Although we are very proud of our TMP not every wargamer chooses to use TMP.

10. changing priorities.

I have never considered giving up miniature gaming but I used to be a very serious tournament chess player. I reached a point where winning no longer gave me the satisfaction it once did and I recognized that I would never become a master. So I shifted to another hobby that had both more emotional rewards and was one I could share with my wife.

'6' might be: discovered the opposite sex (….. or is that a sub-set of '1'?)

Or might I propose: "looked round the attendees at a wargames show and experienced the chilling realisation that 'I am one of these people.'

;-)

I've had long breaks from it including most of my 20's and early 30s whilst I got a career sorted out. However, I came back to it. In the summer my attention is on outside activities but I'm quite happy for it to be a six months of the year hobby.

I had about 15 years out for reason 2 and then about 9 years because of 5. Throughout that time I continued to paint armies, follow the hobby through the media etc and just over three years ago got back into actual gaming. Now manage about three or four games a month and hope to do so until I fall off the perch!

When does one officially leave, though?

I haven't played a wargame in over 6 months, partially because I was busy, but partially because I was on a new medication that had the side effect of crippling back pain, something I am still dealing with. My days basically consisted of going to work, eating dinner, and laying in bed until I started the cycle again. Barely any benchtime. That didn't prevent me from buying minis or thinking about projects, once I get this problem kicked (things are starting to get back to normal now…). So while I barely lifted a paintbrush or played a game in the past several months, I wouldn't consider I left the hobby as much as taking a hiatus.

Damon.

I think a large part of the appeal of miniature wargaming is the social aspect. We are after all social creatures and recent research has turned Maslow's "hierarchy of needs" theory on its head. Basically in Maslow's framework people first focus on survival before moving up the ladder toward meeting other needs. Social interaction is in the middle but now some studies are pointing to the need for socialization to be almost or as important as survival because it feeds a powerful psychological need for acceptance.

Since I moved to Texas I've had a difficult time finding the time to wargame or participate in the hobby at all. Most of this has been due to my work schedule. I have noticed that because of this my interest to work on miniatures or projects had diminished considerably. So much so that I have begun to sell off parts of my collection I never thought I would part with. I have lost the attachment I once had for these things because they no longer hold the same worth. Will I give up on the hobby? Not as of yet but it is clearly less important to me than it once was.

I would right now #2, seems to intrude a lot.

The job I am on for the last three years takes up more and more of my time as my company expands like crazy. And as a result, my gaming and my reenacting hobbies have suffered.
Due to work this weekend, I had to cancel going to Little Wars…
sigh…

I know a guy who was one of the most fantastic figures painters I have ever known. He was on the verge of getting a Golden Demon. Then he got married, and his wife did not support anything with the hobby. Gradually he drifted away. Very sad.
My wife tolerates everything about my hobby. She also likes history, especially WWII. So I am very lucky.

Changing tastes, lack of time, lack of interest.

Some people drift away for a while, others drift permanently.

I imagine the number of gamers that are out there, playing with a family member, a small group or solo and never interacting with the internet community is quite large.

I'm always astonished when I read about how some guy was an avid gamer, gets married, and THEN his wife says she doesn't want him involved in gaming.

Didn't the guy know this BEFORE he got married? Seriously, this was a complete surprise when it happened? What does this say about the wife? Is she insecure, conniving, or does this guy just like being told what to do? Or maybe he is a stereotypical geek gamer (fat, smelly, ugly – insert stereotypes here) who has never had a female relationship before and thinks he better take the first thing that comes along? Mommy issues?

Talk about a danger sign for you future…

Can't find rules that you like.
Can't find opponents at all or ones you can get along with.
Just want a new fresh hobby.
When I have a very bad game or a series of bad games.

Lack of commitment.