Alright, here are some quick rules for internet debates as a war game.
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Figures:
You can play this in any scale. Pick one figure for each. Paint them kind of shabbily.
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Deployment:
Set your figures up 6 inches apart on a plain, featureless table.
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The one with the loudest voice is the attacker.
The defender begins by saying literally anything. If in doubt, roll 1D6 on the topic table below.
1 Food
2 Casual TV entertainment
3 Music
4 A sports team or athlete
5 A political candidate
6 General philosophy of life.
Roll again to determine the delivery.
1 Plain and matter of fact.
2 Indecipherable text-speak.
3 Smug superiority.
4 Snide insinuation that you're the only one who "gets it".
5 Obvious joke or exaggeration
6 Question looking for information.
If the roll is 6, a second roll of 5+ will establish that the question is actually asked to promote an agenda.
Roll 5+ for the defender to be an obvious troll.
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The attacker now takes their turn. Roll below for the attack form.
1 Declare that their opinion is garbage. Do not present evidence.
2 Insult the competence, dedication or maturity of the defender.
3 Insinuate they are a paid shill for some big industry or political agency.
4 Ignore what they actually said and start a ramble on an unrelated pet issue. This makes you the new defender.
5 Pedantry attack! Mis-spellings, getting a year wrong, phrasing something incorrectly is all fair game. Ignore the context.
6 The nuclear option. Call them Hitler.
If option 6 is used, a D6 roll of 6 will cause an unrelated person to enter the argument, becoming the new Defender with the statement "Actually, Hitler wasn't that bad". (on Reddit, this changes to a 4+ roll, on 4chan, it changes to 1+ on 3D6)
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Each round, players now alternate being attackers.
For every round, roll 3D6, with each 5+ allowing an additional person to enter the debate.
When a person enters, they will attack a random poster in the debate.
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Once 3 rounds have passed, each attacker has a 5+ roll to be effective.
The defender rolls on their reaction table below.
1 Leave the debate.
2 Leave the debate. Declare that you have "real work to do".
3 Leave the debate. Declare that you won.
4 Drop an extra long post about how you are a navy seal and is going to kill their entire family.
5 Say that you are leaving the site (and the internet). Don't.
6 Threaten to get the attacker banned.
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Enjoy the game. There are no winners.
