Winston Smith | 21 May 2015 12:36 p.m. PST |
Yesterday an alleged perpetrator stepped out if his courtroom "to make a phone call" and then took off. Usually around here they just go to his baby mama's apartment, but they just tracked him down with the ankle bracelet he forgot he was wearing. |
Charlie 12 | 21 May 2015 1:09 p.m. PST |
Most are that dumb. Like the bank robber who left his wallet on the bank's counter. Or the other bank robber who wrote (and left behind) his demand note on the back of his jail release slip. (Both occurred to a cop friend in a 6 month time period). |
Cyrus the Great | 21 May 2015 1:36 p.m. PST |
They're ALL that stupid. The criminal mastermind is found only in fiction. |
raylev3 | 21 May 2015 1:42 p.m. PST |
The stupid ones are those you know about….you never know who the smart ones are. |
emckinney | 21 May 2015 2:15 p.m. PST |
There are some very professional bank burglary crews out there. They usually cut their way in through the roof. Not stupid guys. Sometimes the story is just sad. In one case my wife dealt with, the prosecutor and the defense attorney conspired to throw the book at a guy for bank robbery (attempted bank robbery, really). The guy walked into the bank, handed the teller a note that read, "This is a bank robbery," walked over to the chairs for customers, sat down, and waited for the police. He had cancer and no health insurance (this was five years ago). He knew that, at least on the inside, the government would have treat his cancer and he probably wouldn't die. That's when I was absolutely convinced that the healthcare situation was completely messed up. We were going to pay an enormous amount to keep this guy locked up … |
Gone Fishing | 21 May 2015 2:23 p.m. PST |
Speaking of intelligent criminals, wasn't there just a very slick jewelry heist in London? The little I read made that sound like it was an extremely professional job. Plenty of dumb ones, too, though! |
javelin98 | 21 May 2015 2:32 p.m. PST |
The criminal mastermind is found only in fiction. Not so! Check the list of CEOs of major banks and Wall Street investment firms for some real-life examples. |
skipper John | 21 May 2015 2:45 p.m. PST |
Or the Senate… now there is a bunch of smart ones. |
rmcaras | 21 May 2015 2:50 p.m. PST |
Not so! Check the list of CEOs of major banks and Wall Street investment firms for some real-life examples. where is the notation found? In their CV, the company annual reports? other filings? |
GonerGonerGoner | 21 May 2015 3:09 p.m. PST |
The London Hatton Garden jewelery robbery has seen eight arrests. Not so smart though the robbery was well planned and executed. link |
Charlie 12 | 21 May 2015 5:06 p.m. PST |
Not so! Check the list of CEOs of major banks and Wall Street investment firms for some real-life examples. Well, not all are that smart, given the blatant evidence trail they would leave. Of course, it may be more arrogance than stupidity at work. |
20thmaine | 21 May 2015 5:33 p.m. PST |
Speaking of intelligent criminals, wasn't there just a very slick jewelry heist in London? The little I read made that sound like it was an extremely professional job. They were all arrested a couple of days ago, and it looks as if pretty much the whole haul has been recovered as well. So…there must have been a few clues for the police to pick up on. |
Gone Fishing | 21 May 2015 7:26 p.m. PST |
Really glad to hear they got them. The paper showed the hole they had drilled through the wall to get at the safe--that was one impressive bit of tunneling! |
Zephyr1 | 21 May 2015 8:14 p.m. PST |
"There are some very professional bank burglary crews out there. They usually cut their way in through the roof. Not stupid guys." Well, there was one guy (a pro) who got in through the roof, and sprained his ankle lowering himself in. He gathered up everything he was going to steal, then realized he'd forgotten to lower the rope that he was supposed to climb out on. When they caught him (still in the vault) the next day, he had piled up stacks of money (and anything else he could find) under the hole in the ceiling, but, combined with the bad ankle, he couldn't leap up high enough to get out. A checklist (or a partner) could have helped him avoid a simple mistake like that. LOL |
rmaker | 21 May 2015 8:41 p.m. PST |
We've had a few of these in the Twin Cities. One guy tried to break into a doctor's office (presumably for drugs) through the heating vents. He got stuck. He made his attempt late Friday night, the office was closed all weekend. He was dead when they found him. Even better was the lone bank robber at the old Midland National in downtown Minneapolis. He waited in line and, reaching the teller, announced loudly "This is a robbery." He was promptly covered by four FBI agents and two US Marshalls, guns out and shouting "Freeze!". It was lunchtime on payday, and the bank was across the street from the Federal courthouse. |
Cyrus the Great | 21 May 2015 11:59 p.m. PST |
How about this criminal mastermind? A naked man allegedly trying to steal drugs from a Milwaukee veterinary clinic ends up trapped in an air vent for more than 10 hours. Still need convincing? |
OSchmidt | 22 May 2015 7:19 a.m. PST |
Cyrus the great beat me to it. They're ALL that stupid. That's why they are criminals. I know this first hand from being a police reporter for the Paterson Evening News, back in the 60's and 70's. I remember hanging out in the Detective room when I wasn't in court, and they were sitting around playing pinochle-- ALWAYS! Now and then one would leave to check something, but night after night (this was the graveyard shift) they would sit there and play endless hands. I asked the Lieutenant in charge once "Shouldn't you guys be out investigating or detecting or something!?" Lietenant Brady said "Schmitty you're new to this game aren't you? You don't understand criminals. They're all stupid. They do these crimines but they always mess up.They'll boink their budies girlfriend, or stiff him on a bet and in a few weeks the buddy will come in and tell us ALL about everything the guy has done, and we just go and roll them up! They'll tell us all about the crime they did, the crimes they did and they will even tell us about crimes we don't even know about. But will they ever stop shagging their cronies girlfriends or stiffing them on debts!??? Naah, and they always wonder how we caught them! I didn't believe it but over the years I saw this literally DOZENS of times. One time two guys come in and one of them with his head all bloody, with a greasy rag pressed against it. Liet. Brady asks "What happened to you?!" "I was mugged!" he says. So Lieut. Brady assigns Detective Ramos to take his story and the guy is sitting there as Ramos is typing away. Meanwhile his buddy is wandering around the room look around. He comes to the wall with the wanted posters on it, and he suddenly says "Oh man Leon!? Look at this ugly picture of you!?" There's a silence in the room for a moment which is broken by Detective Ramos ripping the report out of the typewriter and tossing it aside to the simultaneous sounds of half a dozen guns being drawn. Turns out the guy was on the 10 most wanted or something. The guy looks up and with shock and horror in his eyes says "But.. But… I was MUGGED!!! You can't arrest me, I'm the victim here!" Believe me, they are STUPID!!! |
OSchmidt | 22 May 2015 7:27 a.m. PST |
In less spectacular incidents. There was an attempted robbery at a bank at the drive up window. The thief sends a message up the pneumatic tube which says "I have a gun, put money in the box or I will start shooting. The teller sends a message back "Go ahead Ay-hoe, the glass is bulletproof." Another one is where they cut the power to a bank from the outside to short circuit the alarm and get in through the roof. They are going to break into the safe for which they have brought along a black and decker drill, with a carpenters auger. This is an electric drill. They cut the wires so there is now no power in the bank. They realize this and one guy goes out to reconnect the power and gets electrocuted. The other guy sits there waiting for his buddy till the cops show up. Wait! Not finished! The bank branch was closed for two months. But the best one I ever saw was when this thief wants to rob a pizza parlor. He comes in with a gun and demands money. The four employees rush him with meat cleavers and huge knives that look like swords. |
Buff Orpington | 22 May 2015 12:53 p.m. PST |
We're planning a re-run of the Hatton Garden job in a few years. Once we're all over 65 the worst that can happen is that we end up in a low security jail with better facilities than most care homes. |
20thmaine | 26 May 2015 7:37 a.m. PST |
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Korvessa | 27 May 2015 10:28 p.m. PST |
A few years ago one of my probationers carjacked a 70 something old man. When he went to buy gas, he had trouble lining up his gas tank with the gas pump. The clerk said it took him four tries driving around the pumps before he could line them up. Cost him 9 years if I remember correctly. |
Last Hussar | 30 May 2015 6:23 p.m. PST |
Buff – you'll end up in a B cat. The cells are 7 x 11, you share and the loo is 4 ft from your bunk. Better hope your cell mate can hang on when you're eating. An officer – who I will call 'K' was on escort to court with a prisoner when new in the service. He comes back down alone. Colleague – "Where's the con?" K – not guilty so they let him go. Colleague "He's serving on other matters!" Some naughty words were said. At that moment there is a knock on the back door of the court building – the officers open it. There stands the prisoner "Can I have my prop[erty] Guv?" The grab him and haul him inside. Con "I want a better cell" Probation Officer "What do you mean you want a better cell? they are all the same" Con "No, I want a bigger one, some cells are better" PO "What were you expecting – views of the Serengeti, herds of wildebeast sweeping magestically across the plains?" PO "He asked me if he was going to get his parole" Admin "What did you say?" PO – Makes non-commital noise/action. "He asked me if it was 50/50" Admin "He's got 2 hopes; Bob Hope and No Hope. And Bob Hope's dead" PO – "He said he was going to leave it in the hands of God" Admin – "He's Jewish. Tomorrow's Good Friday. I wouldn't have thought this weekend is a good time for a jewish person to be asking favours from God!" From the T**T of the Day list "Stuck a pistol in the waistband of his trousers. Shot himself in the thigh and got 5 years for possession" Dejected Prison officer of Polish descent. "I'd don't mind translating, but why are the Polish ones all rapists" |
14Bore | 31 May 2015 11:38 a.m. PST |
maybe it's a stereotype but criminals come two ways, dumber than a box of hammers or someone who at least thinks he's the smartest man in the room and they won't ever catch him. |
Supercilius Maximus | 14 Jun 2015 10:54 a.m. PST |
They usually cut their way in through the roof. Not stupid guys. Except for the Darwin Award contestant who decided to enter a computer warehouse Mission Impossible style, with a torch in his mouth. Not a pencil torch, obviously; no, no – a really big one of the sort you keep handy for when the lights all fuse in the middle of the night. Guess what happened when his harness failed and he fell and landed on his face? |