"What If ... Your Miniatures Started To Speak???" Topic

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Whatever would you do? Would you tell anyone?

Dan
PS. Time for more meds.

Never knew miniatures that speak, but I did know one guy I used to play 40K with who apologizes to his miniatures whenever they become casualties as if they're real people.

I guess every loss tears at his aching heart.

what if they fight back?

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Or got so bored from being locked up forever that, instead of fighting on the gaming table, they suddenly broke into dancing stuff they've choreographed for months!!!

vimeo.com/26645299

Dan

They can't talk. Because I stuff their mouths with dried paint… ;-)

Lol!!!!

What if they started fighting back???

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Dan

They'd yell at me to learn to roll better! And then I'd probably faint.

I'm sure there would be an Erich Maria Remarque or two among them, shaming me in heartfelt monologue for letting them die in droves on the battlefield while I laugh and joke with their enemies' commander.

A few others might start reciting their own war poetry.

They'd be begging me to get them a competent leader.

They often speak. They want a pint. In fact, when I hear them, I tell them the first battle they win, I'll buy them a round. Small risk there. Shuts them up until the next game.

They would complain of the lack of female miniatures and wine/food accessories.

Why haven't you painted me yet?

Legbiter +1.

Mine would be in chorus with Terrement

"We want a better paint-job."

Worse than speaking, what if they "organize" into unions?

I'd be more concerned about what my 40ish space demons might do given their central location on the shelf. Perhaps I should just surround them, or place my tanks within LOS.

Just in case.

That's why I switched to acrylics.

Are you our heroic leader?

The English, Spanish, or Italian speaking miniaturesI I could understand. The French or German miniature with some difficulty. The Swedish, Finnish or Russian would be a near total loss. As for the Chinese or Japanese speaking ones…. I hope their small hand or facial gestures are clear.

Their talking doesn't freak me out anymore…but when I run out of beer I get scared

I thought everyone's minis did talk

Yeah, what, yours don't?

I actually had a girlfriend who would not stay the night because she was afraid they would come to life.

Mine talk to me all the time how they need to find more new friends, better living conditions with more living space, Travel agendas to far away places, I feel more like their servant then a friend, sometime they make me feel very unappreciated.

"Uhh…when will we see some action?"

They wouldn't dare. I walk softly and carry a sledge hammer.

They'd say,"Why don't I have eyes?"

Perhaps you've seen Mexican banditos wearing a sort of pinky-peach color. I was trying to mix just the right paint to paint my bandito that color, and really wasn't getting it. Not quite a Barbie pink, but still pretty bad. And finally he got fed up and said, "Hey Gringo, this color, it sucks." Well, I kept trying, and eventually got a color on him that I thought was pretty close. I guess he agrees, because he didn't complain, and hasn't said anything since.

Grelber

There was a short story in the December 1978 issue of Battle magazine about 2 ECW armies coming to life….

One of the early issues of Miniature Wargames had an article called The battle of 37 Acacia Avenue. Involving napoleonic figures conversing whilst 6mm Zulus ran amok. I seem to remember one of the officers was hard of hearing due to having had one too many coats of varnish.

If they would, I would buy tiny brushes for them and tell them: paint yourselves, s! My eyes are not what they used to be anymore!

When I was a kid and read comics = hold on I still do ;

Anyway I remember a kid who's toy soldiers were alive and tried to help him all the time

Can't think what the comic was thou

Anyone remember the late, lamented Turn Signals on a Landraider? It's pretty much what I'd expect miniatures to say (or would be if I gamed 40k).
tsoalr.com/?p=1

Of course there's The Indian in the Cupboard. And that child in me still thinks there's mileage in the concept for wargaming!
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And of course my miniatures speak to me – just can't understand what most of them are saying! (Foreign, alien or some Anglo-Saxon-ised fantasy language).

My house would sound like the tower of Babel.

You mean yours don't talk to you?

"Stop touching me!"

"You used too much green again."

Enough ! I'll do it myself ! Now gimme the freaking dice you big silly loser !

In my game, Nazi's vs Dinosaurs, I implemented a rule that requires squads to take care of their casualties. If they let some denizen descend upon any wounded, the squad takes a morale reduction for the rest of the game. Best I can do for them.

If my minis started talking (Emperor's Pointy Sticks-style), they'd be really vocal about my lack of tactical acumen…

Would have to recast them; wife and children in the house who speak back are enough

They mostly make fun of me.

I'd have my doctor change my Rx's. No, no, wait. When they unionize . . . then I get my doctor to change my Rx's. B.T.W. – Anybody know of a good source of 20/25mm nekkid wimmen figures? 8-)

With the amount of blood I have spilled upon them in my earlier days of, (who am I kidding, still end up bleeding), working on minis, I am amazed they aren't alive.

I did know one guy I used to play 40K with who apologizes to his miniatures whenever they become casualties as if they're real people.

Heh.

Given the body count in your typical 40k game, that must have kept him quite busy!

Martin

If my miniatures spoke, I'd put the cap back on the bottle and sleep it off.

Strictly for security purposes, of course; melt them down…

They all talk, it's just a matter if you can listen.

Doctor – was it General Jumbo?

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PunkRabbit – you believed her?