"The Problem with SF&F War Machines" Topic

I just started working on some heavy howitzers for the All Quiet on the Martian Front game and I've come up against a problem all too common with SF or Fantasy war machines: They look great, but they just don't work! :) Unlike models of real, historical weapons, where actual crewmen had to be able to operate them for real, the designers of these fictional weapons are only concerned that they look cool. Well, these howitzers certainly look cool, but I like to build my models to look as though they are actually being operated by the crews. Sadly, that's impossible here. The guns are mounted on carriages that are so tall, the howitzer's breech is about twelve feet off the ground and there's no way for the crewmen to reach it. Even though there is a built-in crane to lift the huge shells, there's still no way for the crew to maneuver it into the breech. The model also comes with a 'tray' to hold shells or powder bags, but again, it's far too low to be of any use.

So I plan to lower the entire gun tube a bit and also build some platforms on the carriage to allow the crew to do their jobs. More work, but it will look very cool when finished.

And I'm not picking on Alien Dungeon here, this is something that I've seen again and again in SF&F models.

Unlike models of real, historical weapons, where actual crewmen had to be able to operate them for real, the designers of these fictional weapons are only concerned that they look cool.

Crew? What crew? Aren't they all remotely piloted drones or AI controlled by then?

Crew them with 28mm figures.

If the Martians knew we had heavy howitzers, they would have decided never to invade and stay home. Now, I'm sure
the lobstermen men from Mars are asking themselves this question: "What could be have been thinking?!!!"

I just chalk it up to "suspension of disbelief." After all, have you tried to visualize how a tripod actually walks? Sure, we've all seen three-legged dogs, but they don't walk as much as kind of semi-hop. Can you see a Martian tripod doing that? The Martians would always win because the humans would die laughing. How 'bout those teensy-tiny coal bins on the steam tanks. They would have to be refilled every hundred feet.

No, my friend. sometimes we just don't ask the obvious questions because it would ruin the fantasy.

I have invested heavily in this game because I love the original story--much more sobering and scary than any movie yet made. The fact that they didn't do Victorian and opted for the "second" invasion is all the more fun for the sort-of WW1-ish steam punk-ish setting. I just go with the flow, put reason and physics aside for the moment and enjoy the building of some pretty cool models and playing a simple, fun game.

I've always visualized the tripods walking like a one-legged man on crutches. Although reading Wells I sometimes get the impression that the legs of the tripod actually spin, making the tripod move like a barrel careening on its bottom.

And I have no problem suspending disbelief for things like the coal capacity in the steam tanks, because it doesn't really affect the modelling process. But in this particular case I want to model the gunners actually serving their gun and I can't with the model as is.

Doesn't stop me from enjoying the game, though :)

It's anthracite coal Scott.

I'm with XRays,
It's not worth it to try and justify (or correct) one aspect of a Sci-Fantasy warmachine because you'll soon realize you're pulling the first thread of the sweater of improbability. And It never ends with that one thread.

Far better, IMHO to suspend disbelief, realize that most of what calls itself "Sci-Fi" is in fact "Sci-Fantasy" and that's ok.

I don't see how the howitzer is particularly bad as SF stuff goes. It looks to have a 'Disappearing Gun' recoil system as used in a number coastal artillery guns of the time. The aiming platform is missing but not needed as there is no parapet to look over. Not really workable but nowhere as bad as you say.

x42

Two videos of a tripod walking

YouTube link

vimeo.com/5509920

…most of what calls itself "Sci-Fi" is in fact "Sci-Fantasy" and that's ok.

Indeed it is.

Although I think that the OP should model his table in a way that pleases him, as well.

Still waiting on my models. Worst kick starter ever.

No, it is not the "worst Kickstarter ever." Pull up the comments on the Ice Age Mammals KS to see what a bad kickstarter looks like.

Doug: when you say you at still waiting on your models, I assume you mean Wave 2(?). If so, I am in the same boat.

Scott,

I see your point in modeling the gun. Probably need to erect a platform or something.

x42,

Yeah…about those videos…they don't really work unless the body has some sort of anti-gravity device or has no mass. As soon a one leg gets lifted, the thing would topple over. Face it, H.G. made them tripods as a plot device to make them feel alien to the reader. So, again, they look cool. They look alien. They look Wells-ian. Just go with it.

Doug, I feel your pain. I'm a supporter of many KS projects, some of which have not turned out so well. But--can we have ONE thread that doesn't turn into a KS gripe session?

Please?

I get it. You're unhappy. Complaining here isn't going to fix a thing.

There's a crowd funding board and a consumer board…someone probably would listen over there and you could have a nice co-miserating chat. Maybe you and others could actually take some positive action like organizing a petition to the company to address your collective complaints.

But please, please, please, don't hijack threads and please post where it will do you and others the most good.

Makibox is my worst crowdfunding experience ever. I was told my Makibox 3D printer would ship in October 2013. So far… nothing. And Paypal won't refund my money since I paid so far in advance of the shipping date.

*sigh*

as far as tripods moving, this is more what I imagine them looking like.
youtu.be/lVIRp827t84

But, yeah, I see what you mean by the rediculous amount of coal something would need in Privateer press's Warmachine.
You'd need need a coal-wagon and a squad of battle-shovelers to refule the Warjacks every few turns.

Coal is nothing compared to the amount of water that is needed.

Water…I hadn't thought of that aspect.

Well, it just goes to my point. When it comes to SF or VSF, it's best not to think too much and just enjoy playing.

But, yeah, I see what you mean by the rediculous amount of coal something would need in Privateer press's Warmachine.
You'd need need a coal-wagon and a squad of battle-shovelers to refule the Warjacks every few turns.

If you've read the No Quarter magazines, combat dramatically reduces the endurance of the 'Jacks. Most jacks have 4-5 hours endurance on the march, but less than an hour in combat.

Remember, they aren't pushing more than 500 horsepower, far, far less than what a high-end railroad locomotive produces. Though they'd be much better served using hydraulics instead of steam for motion.

As far as the water reservoir goes, I assume that most of the inside of a 'Jack is water tankage. See also Thomas the Tank Engine.