Bunkermeister | 08 Oct 2014 9:34 p.m. PST |
Was that supposed to be funny? Mike Bunkermeister Creek Bunker Talk blog |
Texas Jack | 08 Oct 2014 9:39 p.m. PST |
Now that was funny, +1 for Mike. |
Winston Smith | 08 Oct 2014 9:45 p.m. PST |
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Baddalump bump kish! |
TNE2300 | 08 Oct 2014 10:28 p.m. PST |
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant? A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk |
MHoxie | 09 Oct 2014 2:59 a.m. PST |
How did the Romans split their empire into the Eastern and Western empires? With a pair of Caesars. Why did the Italian army do so poorly in WWII? They brought rotini instead of shells. Did you know George Harrison, of The Beatles, was a miniatures gamer? He collected only cardstock Renaissance figures, though. It was the inspiration for his song "Paperback Reiter." The Earl of Salsbury always protected his archers with stakes. Somebody stop me! |
Dave Jackson | 09 Oct 2014 3:16 a.m. PST |
A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he wants. "How about a rum and……………….a coke". Ok" says the bartender, "but why the big pause"? The polar bear looks down and says "well, I don't know, I've always had these…" |
Pete Melvin | 09 Oct 2014 3:51 a.m. PST |
The new Ghostbusters film will have an all Female main cast. I'm worried there will be a lack of Ghoulies. |
Tiberius | 09 Oct 2014 3:54 a.m. PST |
What is that pink stuff between the Elephant's toes? Routing Romans! The stranger said to the Spartans: "The Helots are revolting!" The Spartans replied; "We know" sorry i could not resist |
Doug em4miniatures | 09 Oct 2014 4:26 a.m. PST |
Young son rushing into living room: "Dad, dad – there's a man at the door with a bill" Father: "Don't be daft; must be a duck with a hat on…" Doug |
SJDonovan | 09 Oct 2014 4:32 a.m. PST |
"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward." (Stolen from comedian Tom Stade) |
OldGrenadier at work | 09 Oct 2014 4:33 a.m. PST |
How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away it's credit cards. |
zoneofcontrol | 09 Oct 2014 4:49 a.m. PST |
Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana Sorry, I know it was a little fruity but I thought it would a-PEAL to everyone. |
Dynaman8789 | 09 Oct 2014 5:01 a.m. PST |
After reading these "jokes" I think it is time to go back to the joke free TMP… |
etotheipi | 09 Oct 2014 5:05 a.m. PST |
Well, on the bright side, nobody gets a joke any less, either. |
Col Durnford | 09 Oct 2014 5:18 a.m. PST |
There's nothing like a good old joke and these were nothing like a good old joke. |
skinkmasterreturns | 09 Oct 2014 5:22 a.m. PST |
Well,the op didnt say anything about the QUALITY of the material… |
SJDonovan | 09 Oct 2014 5:37 a.m. PST |
"One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out" – Tim Vine |
Jo Jo the Idiot Circus Boy | 09 Oct 2014 5:58 a.m. PST |
Oh, oh, can I play? Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: What has four legs and one arm? A: A pitbull coming back from the playground. I have a million of them…. Martin |
OSchmidt | 09 Oct 2014 6:26 a.m. PST |
Dear Nobody makes In trying to re-track the train. Please explain what you mean? Do you mean a general lack of humor and over-seriousness of players? Otto |
Pizzagrenadier | 09 Oct 2014 6:27 a.m. PST |
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine. |
Black Cavalier | 09 Oct 2014 6:35 a.m. PST |
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a lampshade? Elephant Lampshade Sine Theta |
MacSparty | 09 Oct 2014 6:39 a.m. PST |
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? "Dam" |
raylev3 | 09 Oct 2014 6:44 a.m. PST |
Some of us will use these jokes at work this week…..you know you will. |
RavenscraftCybernetics | 09 Oct 2014 7:00 a.m. PST |
we need a rubber chicken icon… rubber chickens are always funny! |
Patrick Sexton | 09 Oct 2014 7:22 a.m. PST |
raylev 3, Already have! : ) |
Pizzagrenadier | 09 Oct 2014 7:49 a.m. PST |
What do you get if you cross an elephant, a rhino, and a helicopter? Heliphino. |
The Tin Dictator | 09 Oct 2014 8:34 a.m. PST |
Knock knock Who's there? Little Old Lady. Little Old Lady who? Wow! I didn't know you could yodel. |
etotheipi | 09 Oct 2014 8:50 a.m. PST |
Do you mean a general lack of humor and over-seriousness of players? All of the above, Otto. My bad. I've been to humourless and over-serious. |
Brian Bronson | 09 Oct 2014 10:30 a.m. PST |
Then there was the Chicago Bears fan that saw a sign that said "wet floor." So he did. |
Brian Bronson | 09 Oct 2014 10:39 a.m. PST |
An attractive blonde Irish woman walked into the casino. She appeared rather drunk as she made her way to the craps table. When it was her turn to roll, she plunked down $20,000 USD and apologized, "I'm sorry, but I feel much luckier if I'm totally naked." And she proceeded to take off all her clothes. She grabbed the dice, shouting, "Come on, mama needs some new clothes!" and rolled them. When the dice stopped, she jumped up and down, squealing, "I won, I won!" scooped up her winnings, dice and clothes, and left the casino. After several moments, one croupier turned to the other and asked, "So, what did she roll anyway?" The second replied, "I don't know; I thought you were watching the dice." Which goes to show that not all blondes are dumb; not all Irish are drunk; but men will be men! |
Old Contemptibles | 09 Oct 2014 11:59 a.m. PST |
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? A: Because there were so many knights! Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years! Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages? A: By norse code! Q: Who invented fractions? A: Henry the 1/4th! Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark? A: Floodlights! Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? A: I don't know, I wasn't invited! Q: What's purple and 5000 miles long? A: The grape wall of China. Q: What did Mason say to Dixon? A: We've got to draw the line here! Thank you, I'll be here all week. |
Bashytubits | 09 Oct 2014 1:08 p.m. PST |
She's very demure for her age. Yeah, the older she gets demure she lies about it. Baddabump. Why did the cannibal refuse to eat the comedian? He tasted funny. |
Korvessa | 09 Oct 2014 2:19 p.m. PST |
Then their was the time Lancelot came into a pub and told the proprietor he needed a new mount. The man said, all I have is this old mangy giant sheep dog. Lancelot, desperate and in a hurry said he would take it. Nonsense, said the proprietor, I can't send a knight out on a dog like this. |
etotheipi | 09 Oct 2014 2:25 p.m. PST |
So a termite walks into a pub, crosses the room, climbs up to the top of the counter, looks at the guy to his right and says, "Is the bar tender here?" |
zoneofcontrol | 09 Oct 2014 2:59 p.m. PST |
Have you heard the one about the magician? He walked down the street and turned into a store. |
tkdguy | 09 Oct 2014 5:15 p.m. PST |
Funny you should mention a magician. I went to a magic store with a couple of friends, and one of them disappeared. True story! |
AussieAndy | 09 Oct 2014 7:29 p.m. PST |
Continuing the elephant theme. Q. Why do elephants have big ears? A. Because Noddy won't pay the ransom. Americans and others may need to Google Noddy and Big Ears. |
tkdguy | 09 Oct 2014 11:42 p.m. PST |
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the cocoa. |
ochoin | 10 Oct 2014 2:19 a.m. PST |
I disagree.
….oh, cheerless PLACE not plate.
|
platypus01au | 10 Oct 2014 3:10 a.m. PST |
Dog Haiku I lie belly up In the sun happier than You will ever be Look! The paper boy! He comes to kill us all! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! JohnG |
Aubrey | 10 Oct 2014 8:50 a.m. PST |
The inflatable boy runs amok with a pin at his inflatable school. He is summoned to see the headmaster who says "You've let the school down, you've let the other pupils down, you've let me down but most of all you've let yourself down". |
vtsaogames | 10 Oct 2014 11:44 a.m. PST |
Three martial arts masters lunch together. A fly goes past. The first master catches the fly in his chopsticks. Another fly arrives. The second master pulls the fly's wings off with his chopsticks. The fly plummets to the ground. One more fly arrives. The third master makes a pass at the fly with his chopsticks. The fly flies away. The first two masters say, "What was that?" Third master says, "Never have children." |
SJDonovan | 10 Oct 2014 12:27 p.m. PST |
When I was on holiday I met a Dutch girl who wore inflatable shoes. When I got home I called her to see how she was doing. Unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. |
Old Contemptibles | 10 Oct 2014 1:34 p.m. PST |
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing. "That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives him a beer. "If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings. The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees. "Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog." "Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist." |
Paul from PMW | 10 Oct 2014 2:57 p.m. PST |
I decided to get rid of my hoover – after all it was just collecting dust. |
Old Contemptibles | 10 Oct 2014 5:06 p.m. PST |
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platypus01au | 10 Oct 2014 6:30 p.m. PST |
Man walks into a bar. The barman asks if he would like to see something interesting, and from under the bar pulls out a small piano and a small man about a foot high. The small man sits down at the piano and starts to play Chopin. "That is interesting" says the man "Where did you get him?". The barman says "From a genie in a lamp. He only gives one wish but, would you like a go?". The barman pulls out a lamp from under the bar and hands it over. The man rubs the lamp and BAM, a genie appears in front of him and says "What will be your wish master?" "Well", says the man, "I wish for a million bucks". Suddenly the room is full of ducks, quacking and flying about. Eventually the man and the barman shoo all the ducks out the door. The barman turns to the man and says; "Sorry, I should have said, the genie is a little hard of hearing. You don't think I actually asked for a 12 inch pianist did you?" I'll go now, JohnG |
zoneofcontrol | 10 Oct 2014 8:03 p.m. PST |
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables wrapped around his neck. The bartender takes one look at him and says, "Buddy, you can drink in here all night if you want to. Just don't start anything!" |
tkdguy | 11 Oct 2014 6:22 p.m. PST |
I was reading up on some Middle-earth stuff when it occurred to me that "Misty Mountains" would make a great name for a porn star. |
Sergeant Paper | 11 Oct 2014 11:47 p.m. PST |
You want a cheer? "Two, Four, Six, Eight, Arty Sure Can Deviate! |