"The Constitutional rights of Zombies" Topic

Well I always thought this would make an interesting intellectual discussion and here William Baude at Chicago University Law School has done so in this brief, thought provoking and entertaining bit of research.

link

Please download the pdf and take ten minutes to read. Then let the debate begin shall we? Zombies have rights too don't you know, or do they?

No thing that is incapable of recognizing MY rights has any rights from me. That includes lions and tigers and bears and zombies.

Reason and restraint are essentials.

Animals have no rights. Humans have obligations TO OTHER HUMANS (and to GOD) in how we treat animals. The natural world is in our care, and we have moral obligations in how we exercise that care. The natural world is also for our use. It is a joint inheritance, and we owe our fellow heirs reasonable restraint in how we use what is ours to use.

But animals cannot respect rights and have none.

I think this is a great step forward in Zombie-Human relations. Before we kill them outright we should try to understand why they are trying to eat us. What have we done to the living-impaired to incur their wrath? I'm hoping Zombies see our efforts to reach out in understanding.

There is morality as it is rationally conceived and morality as instinct. In the former case it is a relation. The relationship need not be one of equality. If you were alone on a spacecraft there would be no morality because there would be nothing to have a moral relation to (rationality having no notion about God).

Morality as instinct is another matter. Things can be wrong because they feel wrong and there needn't be anyone or thing to relate to.

Morality in law is usually reduced to a rational basis, at least nowadays, though there are still a few culturally agreed moral instincts left which don't have a rational basis such as laws against cruelty to animals.

The BBC series In The Flesh is pretty much about human/zombie rights – it's harder than you think once you find "the cure".

Thosands of Zombies who no longer want brains (the craving is restrained through medication) and are capable of rational discussion.

Of course – they did eat Auntie's Brain….but that was when they were ill and untreated…so not really their fault….so that's ok then…..

What kind of rights are we talking about here?
The notorious "3/5" clause only dealt with apportioning the House of Representatives and accounting for "persons" who did not get to vote anyway. It did not define the slave as 3/5th of a person.
This should only come up every 10 years after a Census. IF zombies get to vote, then they should count as a full person. If they cannot vote, then 3/5.
This may become a problem if the vital/unvital ratio is in flux. The Census is only mandated for every 10 years.

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Does your status change when you become undead? That is probably the main issue, and I think the Federalism approach is best. The current Court has not paid a lot of attention to Federalism or the 10th Amendment as the California gay marriage case has shown. Federalism would have been the simplest solution, but the Court once again wrote new law. Lawlessly, in my opinion, but that is not the issue here.
In my opinion also, Roe v Wade would have been a lot less contentious had legislatures, rather than a Court, decided the issue.
Having things decided by a 5-4 vote of people who are not demonstrably smarter than you naturally causes resentment among those who feel wronged.

So, depending on how many zombie pressure groups there are, the Court may unilaterally decide to write new law. They DO read the newspapers, as Mister Dooley observed. Or, blogs.

IF the Courts decide that the "end of life" is the end of your "personhood", then the only solution for zombies is to re-register to vote and become a normal All-American pressure group. Since in WWZ, they cannot even get out of a parked car, that would be a problem.
IF the court decides that the end of life means nothing, then, Yes. Zombies have constitutional rights.
They can be free from having troops quartered in their homes in peacetime, just like normal people.
And if they want to have letters of marque and reprisal issued to them, they must petition Congress.
I would also say that they cannot issue currency in specie.

So if Zombies were a majority, would they feel they have the rights to cede from the Union?

"We're fighting for our rights." [pronounces it "rats"]
"You're what?"

The right to secede is not in the Constitution of the United States, nor is it in that for the CSA, the assumption being that is inherent and not needed.
Courts never got around to answering that.

As a zombie, you have the right to:

- High-Speed Kinetic Lead Therapy
- Involuntary Cremation
- Free Cocktails (Molotov flavor only)
- Deep-Muscle Massage (delivered via baseball bat or tire iron)
- Electroshock Therapy (minimum 100,000 volts per session)
- Height Adjustment Therapy (choice of axe, machete, or guillotine)

Do zombies have the right to own chattel? IE. did that zombie dog you spread all over the pavement belong to Zeke (the zed)? And if it did, do you have to make restitution (provided you can get away from Zeke)?

That's just hateful speech, javelin!

Agreed Winston Smith, Javelin does not appear to have the proper respect for the Un-Dead American population.

Hey Javelin you forgot the right to decompose, smell to high heaven and moan continuously while oozing stuff all over the place. Also free public transportation as they are being run over by various and sundry vehicles.

For reference material (and laughs)

link
link

"American Zombie is a veritable slice-of-life of four 'revenants'--Joel, founder of Z.A.G.: the Zombie Advocacy Group; Judy, who naively searches for true love and denies her zombiness; Ivan, a convenience store clerk who aspires to be a writer; and Lisa, a florist specializing in funeral arrangements for other people--who secretly longs for her own. Each character represents an average person with average emotions and average problems, showing us that the undead aren't too different than the living. Well, except for their rotting flesh, of course."

They have rights….. to one bullet per head (though more may be allowed depending on ammunition availability and weapon type).

As laws prohibit poll taxes and other 'intelligence' type tests as have been ruled unconstitutional and a barrier to exercising the ballot, do we have a legal standing to disenfranchise the zombie population of a state.

If a zombie is a citizen, then they carry the same responsibilities as other citizens – taxes, military service (if so mandated) and a requirement to obey the laws of the land….including to participate in the Affordable Care Act. Just think of it – you must purchase health insurance, but as an member of the undead, you'll never *need* insurance. This lowers the individual cost of health care for the 'living' participants in the program….over time – as the undead ranks grow – it could even allow the program to run a surplus.

Tax the zombies!
Brilliant!

Not to mention efficient "Death Panels"!

I believe there are specific laws in most municipalities regarding the treatment, internment, and disposal of dead bodies and/or human remains.To the best of my knowledge, there is no diffrentiation made in these laws based on degree of ambulation.

However, by giving zombies equal rights despite their being undead, we open a tricky can of worms that also includes vampires and mummies…

It's not hateful if I just want to help the undead become fully dead…

So, if federalism is the answer, in which state would you rather be living, California or Montana? I'll go for Montana.

"We caught them and we shot them under Rule .303"