"Dadhammer, gaming as a dad rather than in spite of it." Topic

Myself and my peers (online and in the real world) are all reaching that age when the time commitments of Fatherhood are directly competing with the time we would all like to spend gaming, painting and collecting.
I've done an initial post on my blog about what I call dadhammer here:
ernysplace.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/dadhammer-gaming-as-dad-rather-than-in.html

But with this post I'm hoping to pick up some tips or gather cool stories about how you game as a dad rather than in spite of it.

How do you cut corners to make the most of your very limited time?
What kid paraphernalia can ultimately be recycled to the gaming table?
Perhaps budget constraints mean you have to think creatively?
How do you get the little Tykes involved?

Look forward to hearing from other dads!

You mean you're going to put your children before your wargaming??? :-)

My step son was seven when he came to the states so a little older than what you may be looking for..but I put him right into gaming with me and my friends…as at seven he was playing fire and fury, might of arms, sword and the flame, etc.. With my help of course..but he learned fast, my friends were cool with it, until the age of 12 when he started to beat them, then all the gloves came off…lol..good luck and great gaming!

My son is now 15 and I have had him playing with me at the table on and off since he was about 5.

He loves certain aspects of wargaming, especially the actual playing. He is not overly enthused about modelling or painting, but he has a great mind for rules and tactics, and can be a cutthroat opponent.

As he got older, getting to come with me when I went to my friend's place to game became a special time for us. We didn't hold back much with our humor, and we kind of made it "guy time." Sort of like hunting weekend, only with toy army men, less beer, and more swearing.

Now two or three times a month, he comes with me and we have a blast.

When he was younger, there was a crop of miniature games made by mainstream board game companies which I used to indoctrinate him. =) There were some bloodbowl future football game from Milton Bradley which served nicely. There were some others as well, like the star wars figures that shot little plastic darts or swung springloaded light sabers. That game had a very simple ruleset where figures moved, you shot, they got knocked over, they were dead. Very "litte warsy."

We made some terrain together, but that was not so much his thing. You will be in direct competition, all the time, with the electronic entertainment this world has to offer. If given their druthers, they will go to it, so frankly, for a while I made my kid go with me to game nights until he had enough fun with it, he wanted to go.

As to little kids--well, I was a stay at home dad for a little while, and during nap times, I learned to make that painting time for me if I could squeeze it in. Frankly, my painting and collecting suffered a lot for about 5 years.

Now, it seems there are so many games out there you can bring them into the hobby with, maybe make a game that is just for you and your kid. My best friend's teenage daughter is a brutal WH40k collector and player. Her Space Wolves have ripped her opponents a new one on many occasions, and she likes to paint a model a lot.

Anyway, I could go on and on, as this topic is important to me. The main thing, is make it fun, make it something they want to do with you, and let it grow from there.

Oh, one other thing. If you do a lot of historical gaming, use it to teach a bit. My son has learned a lot about history through our gaming (everything from pre biblical ancients to near future micro armor).

Well, we need to get younger people into the hobby!

Good stuff James, my eldest will be 5 in August so perhaps more gaming is just round the corner!

The history thing is a real plus, my eldest can tell a legionary from a hoplite already though his true geek obsession is dinosaurs, well if it counts as geeky at 5?

He told me he was going to make a game of knights and tanks and spaceships and dinosaurs, I didn't have the heart to tell him GW got there first. (well that's what their IP lawyers would say anyway.)

Good on you! Great to get the kids involved

I have found that you have to find something that they like – when they are little, they will go with anything, but as they get older you need to adapt to their tastes and what they like to do – for example the Little Prince doesn't like to paint much but No. 2 son actually prefers painting to gaming

The Little Prince – he likes WWI airplanes, so Wings of Glory – but I also took the suggestions of some noted TMPers like Der Alte Fritz and others and we developed a simple set of skirmish rules that we use as well, mostly for WWII

No. 3 son was mostly a video gamer but he also likes 40K Tau and has a small force – and has now developed a taste for WarMachine so I am busy painting WarJacks for the Retribution of Scyrah (interesting colour scheme)

No. 2 son is actually a very good (although slow) painter and he is a fan of WarHammer – dwarves, more specifically

No. 1 son was not much of a gamer – but he has two lads of his own for me to win over to gaming!

Funny you should post this now. This weekend at Little Wars, my son, 9 and daughter, 11 helped me run Mars Needs Steam. They handled all of the encounter combat (very ably). The best part is they volunteered.

My son has been playing since he was 5. I never drug him anywhere, he was interested because that's what I did. We started our with very basic skirmish games with superheroes and moved into a stripped down Volley and Bayonet with 54 plastics. Now he plays a number of games with me and usually asks before I do to play.

My daughter is a different story. She had no interest in the games at all because "there's too much shooting". But last year she had to kill some time at Little Wars and discovered the paint and take tables. It turned out she likes painting and she's pretty good at it. Then, once I introduced here to the exploration aspect of Mars Needs Steam, she got hooked on that.

Two children, one plays, the other paints. I tell ya, I'm living the dream.

My Dad was an avid model railroader, and half of our basement was taken up by a very impressive layout. However, it was forbidden for my brother and I to "play" there, and we ended up learning to just treat the space as off limits.

Trying to learn from that, I decided early on that my kids could "play" as they wish with my toy soldiers and paints and such … and yes, sometimes there were casualties to my collection! ;)

However, just that simple step of being inclusive rather than protective had great results. As fate would have it my son eventually took to the custom Space Hulk set I made him rather than my historicals (although Zulus were an early hit), but now he has a very nicely balanced Crimson Fists army that we've played with all sorts of rules other than 40k – his current favorite is FUBAR, but we are looking at FAD now that he wants more options and depth. He regularly has his friends over, and they now set up the table and create the scenarios and work it all out themselves, which is great to see.

We also have a great set of LotR armies currently waiting in the wings. Who knows what the future will bring? He's more interested in moderns than I am, but it's a step in the "right" direction! ;)

Cheers,

Christopher

My son started out by putting out the terrain for us (at first just around the edges as he was only as tall as the table). Then last year, aged 6, we played some Spacehulk and then he asked to play actual 40k.

Since then we've been to the local clubs and played all sorts – Wings of War, Scramble, Command Decision, Destopian Wars, X-Wing and Friday we will be trying Malifaux.

We even entered a local 40k doubles tournament and now I ask him the rules (far too many special rules for me to remember).

As well as it being great having another gamer in the house – I get less grief from the wife. We've found that because our son became obsessed with reading the fluff/history and creating army lists – as well as the actual adding dice and modifiers up and problem solving during games – it has been fantastic for his literacy, numeracy and general knowledge.

I dont want my children involved with this hobby…

…that means I would have to fund and paint someone elses armies!

Have enough trouble doing my own.

Besides, my son needs a real tank, no model will withstand his tender attention!

I got my sons involved early by getting them plastic figures to play with then started in on some simple games with figures they wanted to play with which were mostly sci fi. Eventually this expanded to other gamesone

Now at ages 14 and 17 they are both involved in our gaming group including painting their own figures.

That is kind of a guys night thing but I have found that treating them like adults by including them in our group helped both of them mature faster. This has enabled them to handle adult situations in their own lives better than most of their peers and even some adults.

They do play their share of video games as the visual and social draw is there but they are always looking forward to our next game.

Out of my four boys, my oldest (16) will ask to play but loses interest about turn three, #2 (13) likes to game and paint keeps pestering me for more miniatures and is also into CCGs, #3 (9) is about the same as #2 when it comes to games, #4 (6) wants to play because Dad and big brothers do so I let him help me with rolling dice and moving figures.

Most of my games are played with them. They have really taken to FUBAR and especially X-Wing. I've also played Starmada with them both straight up and using the Klingon Armada version. I'm thinking I'll bring out CAV2 for them soon. When my KS OGRE arrives I'm sure there will be much giant cybertan fun to be had. Same for Robotech.

Well I was fortunate to have three sons who all enjoyed gaming. It started with RPGs and then advanced into miniatures. I always bought them stuff they were interested in and played games they liked even if it wasn't exactly where my interests were. (but alot of Christmas presents were just as much for my use as theirs!!) Not only them but their friends were usually at our house playing as well. It cost me a fortune in soda and food but I always knew where my boys were and the people they were hanging out with so it was money very well spent. My youngest is 26 now and married but at least once or twice a month him and some of my "wargaming sons" still come to the house to play with the old man. And this past summer my oldest grandson attended Historicon with me. He loved it so much that he started painting figures and got his dad (my oldest) back into gaming. So this year I'll probably have two of my three sons and two grandsons going to Historicon with Grandpa……..What more could I ask for??

I let it be known to each girlfriend that I went out wargaming one night per week and had one full wargaming weekend per quarter. Baby number 1 arrived 6 years ago and the third (and last) 13 months ago, but I've kept my 'territory' and still go out to play. My wife goes walking and yoga di she gets her evenings. In short, laid down the rules very early. I have taken a child to a show and wouldn't recommend it.

I find that I usually have the young ones at my table to play something because most other games won't invite them, or there are people there who will discourage them from playing (not always, but usually).

So I'll throw something together with the 'future' of the hobby and I find that for the most part they make for pretty good partners. Granted, some times you have to adjust your way of interaction, but if the game isn't fun for the players, whatever their age, then make an adjustment and have it be fun.

I find that I have to cut the bull out of my games and simplify the rules to make it easier to understand, but then again doesn't that make my rules/games easier for all?

On another front, one of my fellow wargamer's daughter started painting figures at age 9. Started off rough, but after we showed her some cheat techniques she paints just about as good as I do at age 11. I paid her .50 a figure for a 100 man unit and she got them to 80% complete, I just spent an hour doing some final dry brushing and was quite pleased with them, and she couldn't believe she made $50 USD painting army guys. (Do *not* tell her she's getting low balled – she's quite happy with her current rate…)

And besides, I've played in games with some imature babies, and they were usually over the age of 30…

Speaking as one who has drowned at birth all seven sons (no kids get to touch MY toys), I have to say that the disdain with which both my daughters view their embarassing father, has not rubbed off on the grandchildren.
Two of the three boys have taken a dangerous interest in Grandad's Toys, and may have to be imprisoned in the cellar on their next visit.

Think back to what got us hooked at an early age. For me it was easy to understand rules, easy to build models, cheap soldiers and games that gave a clear result. Charles Grant's WW2 set using Airfix models and soldiers pretty much nailed it. Plus we were raised on tales of derring do from the second world war in the kids comics of the time.

So what you need is the current equivalent whatever that is. Maybe something linked to a popular movie like the Hobbit. Damn I just walked into the GW beartrap!

Great Picture! Reminds me of my son at that age – didn't do a lot of gaming – but did get quite a bit of painting done.

Was shocked recently when my wife tried to give a three year old some age appropriate games/toys, that my son had, to play with. Completely ignored them and kicked up a fit until given parents' games on the iphone to play with. Horrible development for a child before age 7-8 (in my opinion).
My son grew up with games and toys – tactile and stimulates the imagination. At ten, does like Star Wars on the computer (for 20mins max -and usually at weekend); but loves Star Wars miniatures, WH Fantasy and 40K, Hellenes, Commands and Colors and Twilight Struggle and Euro board games. Wants to do WWII skirmish and some ECW and Impetus with me next.

Not a Luddite, but there is no substitute for:
a) playing outside with other kids.
b) playing board games.
c) making up your own games, rules and scenarios -either outside, sport games or inside games.

Computer games seem (in my opinion) to skip all those great experiences. A very introverted, self-involved world we are creating.

brucka, couldn't agree more with your list of good things for kids to do. Wargaming isn't for everyone, but kids love the opportunity to try it.

My son is now seven and loves playing board and card games. He's come with to my local gaming club a couple of times now and loved playing Legends of the old west and beating one of my friends. I've started getting stuff to be able to play at home with him now. It's not about knowing the rules as such but you give him the options of what he could do and how hard it might be compared with each other and he's away.

Now I'm thinking what other simple games he could play on the board I gonna make up.